Absolutely Hilarious - The Telegraph - Blogger on Sachin.

[Z-Man]

Sachin Tendulkar: underachiever, flat-track bully, phone hacker: demolishing the myth of his greatness – Telegraph Blogs


In terms of his talent, his record and his conduct, Sachin Tendulkar is often held up as a model cricketer worthy of being considered one of the greatest of all time. Perhaps even the very greatest. And yet, behind the earnest, Pepsi-friendly façade, there is a darker side to Tendulkar. Here, today, Telegraph Sport shatters the myth of Tendulkar’s greatness by picking through the deep-seated flaws in his career and his character. Blind, slavish devotees of the Little Master may want to look away now.

1) We all know that Tendulkar has never scored a century at Lord’s and, after his recent double failure, will probably never do so. We also know that Ajit Agarkar and Stuart Broad have. We will gloss over both those facts. But nor has he ever scored a century at The Oval. Or the Rose Bowl. Or Cardiff. Or Bristol. Or Northampton. Or Whitgift. In fact, so long is the list of venues where Tendulkar has not scored a century that it is reasonable to ask: has he ever scored a century at all? His disciples will argue that he has. It is time their claims got the scrutiny they deserved.

2) Tendulkar’s career statistics are indeed impressive. But they have been luxuriantly massaged by big scores against Test minnows such as Zimbabwe, Bangladesh and Australia. Exclude these teams from his Test figures, and indeed all other teams, and his average drops to 0.00 from a total of 0 innings. And this is the man some want to anoint as the greatest in history. With a record like that, it is hard to see why, other than an irrational emotional attachment to his cute little face.

3) Tendulkar has never won the Ashes. How can he possibly be considered one of the greatest players of all time if he has not won the biggest prize in the game? In fact, Telegraph Sport can reveal that Tendulkar has never even been picked for an Ashes series, which shows what the selectors make of his so-called ‘genius’.

4) Tendulkar may have made a huge volume of Test runs, but as many will tell you, he has enjoyed far easier circumstances than many of his counterparts in other eras. In fact, for his entire career, Tendulkar has taken advantage of an arcane ICC by-law that allows him to use a bat four feet wide and six inches thick. This explains why so many onlookers assume that Tendulkar is small; he is, in fact, 6ft 3in.

5) Tendulkar has been strongly implicated in the News of the World phone hacking scandal. In fact, it is alleged that he was mediating between Andy Coulson and Glenn Mulcaire at the time of the worst transgressions. Leaked emails from Tendulkar to Mulcaire reveal the full extent of Tendulkar’s involvement: “Glenn, it’s Sachin again. Could you do Gordon Ramsay next? And maybe Jamie Oliver as well. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall – but of course that goes without saying. Leave off Delia, though, my wife loves her.” Are these the actions of a role model? No, no, no, no, and no.

Please read the comments by the Indian Fans. Absolutely Hilarious, absurd people can not pick up sarcasm in the article.

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Moreover, not only the Die-Hard Sachin fans, an Indian TV has also failed to get the sense of humor in this article.
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Having said that, the Indian Media has also failed to get the funny part of the article and IndiaTV has taken it as a serious news and Telegraph has taken notice

If, by chance you know Hindi, you should watch the following video from 3:50 or else you should read the article by Telegraph.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/sp...nathan-Liew-makes-national-news-in-India.html


I can not stop laughing at these well well...

 

[Daemon]

ahahhah lmfao

How ****ing stupid can IndiaTV get? Jesus.

The worst part is the dude at the end saying that Jonathan (the telegraph writer) is an idiot for not knowing that the Ashes is between England and Australia and that Sachin isn't eligible to play for them. He then goes on to say that they should not waste their time by discussing about idiots like him who don't know anything about cricket.

 

[Z-Man]

One of genius Indians tries to clarify

kkk before i start saying anything (damn it's gonna hurt you man), please check this site Website on Sachin Tendulkar for answering his critics | haters..
It will solve more than 80% of doubts or illiteracy towards cricket and sachin THE GOD of cricket.
And back to your all five points, i have damn great answers for yaa..
1) True sachin never scored a single century on LORD'S and other mentioned grounds but is it necessory for him to score century on each ground? Look at his humbleness that he allowed others like BROAD and AGARKAR to make on those grounds so people not only remember Sachin but more or less others too. How honorable man!! And he has all of the major records on his name, you name it, he is there.
a) most centuries in tests and ODIs which is a total of damn 99! Can you count 1-99?
b) Most number of runs in ODIs and tests damn over 32,000. And i am sure you can not count up to that much.. Ok use calculator, no problem man.
c) Highest ODI score in a single inning 200*, and he scored it over the age of 35!
d) he played 100 tests overseas, no other player is even close!
--> there are many more records check it online....

2) Ok he might scored centuries against BAN and ZIM but he played less than 20 tests against them and you thing a guy can score 50 centuries in 20 test? do some math or give it to 5 years old child! And Australia? come on man, untill last year they were no.1 team for almost 15 years and you consider them WEAK? So from your perspective you are saying he never played against PAK, SRI, NZ, ENGLAND, SA, WI? GREAT JOB MAN, NICE OBSERVATION!
3) ASHES!!! C'mo man, i read first only one of your point, make my point and go for the other one and point after point YOU ARE GETTING MORE N MORE RESPECT from me, truely!! Dude ASHES plays between only AUS n ENGLAND, so how come sachin could be there? OHH i got it i think u take it as ASHES= matches played between ASIAN countries right? then ok sachin never got chance, poor man right?
4) dude have you ever heard commentary? they call him LITTLE MAN!!! He is just 5'4"! So if he is 6'3" n they call him by that then i am just 5'8", what they will call me?
5) NO COMMENTS on this one, its gonna be a serious issue for you in future! Be carefull!

 

[smash84]

haha........nice one

 

[bagapath]

let me repeat my fear at the risk of getting abused by smalishah84. i dread the day indians will get to dominate the world. it is scary to see how, by sheer numbers, so many idiots are able to hijack so many discussions on the internet.

and by the way, that article was **** all to start with. eminently ignorable. but some vishnukumar kind of guys (remember the gem who made a brief appearance on this forum?) have turned that piece of crap into a topic of discussion. embarrassing.

 

[Howe_zat]

Cheer up bagapath, we've all got them.

 

[jan]

Tendulkar has never won the Ashes.
This explains why so many onlookers assume that Tendulkar is small; he is, in fact, 6ft 3in.

 

[smash84]

let me repeat my fear at the risk of getting abused by smalishah84. i dread the day indians will get to dominate the world. it is scary to see how, by sheer numbers, so many idiots are able to hijack so many discussions on the internet.

and by the way, that article was **** all to start with. eminently ignorable. but some vishnukumar kind of guys (remember the gem who made a brief appearance on this forum?) have turned that piece of crap into a topic of discussion. embarrassing.

haha...........I do remember Vishnukumar (the indian version of Bhupinder singh, anybody remember???)..........

lol @ risk of being abused but I only scoffed at your comment called you something that maybe I shouldn't have .....and yes I still do not agree with your sentiment. As Jake said we all have plenty of idiots going around all over the globe.

 

[weed wizard]

some1 plz post the indiatv video link.
M dying to lmao!

 

[M0rphin3]

**** the article, some comedic gold in the comment section:

LOL cannot stop laughing reading this stupid article of stomach burners(Jealousy)

He is not in the team of ENGLAND niether Australia....And Ashes is played b/w these two team...Sachin is our GOD.....

Dude ASHES plays between only AUS n ENGLAND, so how come sachin could be there? OHH i got it i think u take it as ASHES= matches played between ASIAN countries right? then ok sachin never got chance, poor man right? dude have you ever heard commentary? they call him LITTLE MAN!!! He is just 5'4"! So if he is 6'3" n they call him by that then i am just 5'8", what they will call me?

uys this is highly irresponsible from such a leading UK daily to allow such utter rubbish to be published on ther website. Firstly almost everything written above is false...the writter obviiously doesnt even have a clue about cricket forget Tendulakr the ultimate objective here is to get some talk abt himself going on the net....anyone kindly suggest where the same can be reported

And I'm just past page 4.. Holy crap sachin fanboys are just howlarious

 

[Z-Man]

some1 plz post the indiatv video link.
M dying to lmao!

‪Chak De Cricket (29/07/2011)‬‏ - YouTube

Move to 3:50.

 

[TumTum]

In addition to point 1, I have scored more runs than Tendulkar at my local cricket ground, that must be taken into account after we both retire.

1,2,3 were the best. 4/5 is kinda stupid.

 

[R_D]

Yeah i saw this... pretty hilarious comment section..

incase people don't know India Tv is probably the worst indian news channel... lol... I can understand some idiots taking this article serious but journalist not getting it... .. On second thought i wouldn't call the idiots on India Tv journalists.... that channel is comedy gold though.

 

[Burgey]

I wonder is poking fun at Tendulkar the equivalent to some in India of drawing cartoons of the Prophet to some Muslims.

A fairly nondescript though fairly obviously satirical article.

 

[weldone]

I hate to say that I like the same person so many idiots worship!

 

[honestbharani]

And you guys thought Sir Alex or Bun were bad?

 

[Cevno]

Seriously using India tv to create threads? It's a looney channel who have claimed 5 times the world is about to end by now.

 

[keeper]

The funniest thing about that is an indignant Indian called Justin. Surely not a common name..?

 

[Ikki]

What makes it doubly funny is, after reading the insane posts trying to lambast the writer, there are lots of "Recommonds" by each post haha.

It's really not fair to the champion Indian posters - who are not only intelligent but very well-mannered in discussion - that their voices are downed out by these countrymen of theirs.

 

[keeper]

Which is what has happened on here to a degree...