Tennis Commentary and why it stinks
 

We talk a lot on CW about various commentators who annoy us no end while we watch the summer game, but what about the tennis?

This year at the Australian Open we have the usual suspects from Channel 7 producing the same tired cliches for the 27th year in a row.

And I'm jack of it. It's even infested some of the new comers like to the commentary box like Molik and Rasheed. Feel free to add your own efforts which **** you to tears. Here are some of mine:

1. Anything from John Alexander. The man sounds like he's straining to punch one out on the brasco every friggin' point. Why JA? Why the intensity in your voice as Rafa leads 6-1, 6-0, 5-1 and is serving it out? Why do you need to regail us with "The hardest part is serving the match out"? Really? The bloke's number one in the world and has won multiple grand slam events. I really don't think he'll struggle that much.

2. "Your body language has to be positive. You can't send a negative message across the net". Really? Tell that to Pete Sampras who won 13 (13!!) major titles, all the while giving us a facial expression and hang-dog walk around the court like his mother had just died. What tripe.

3. "Jelena has to be mentally strong here". Well, she is mentally strong - to have gotten back on the court at all after the crap with he father and family shows us she is. A bit like Keith Miller and the "Pressure is a Messerschmidt up your arse" comment, does Dokic really think playing a set of tennis will test her mental strength, after overcoming all the other rubbish in her life? And anyway, it's axiomatic to say someone has to show mental strength to win a tight match at the elite level of any sport.

There are myriad others, but I cbf re=producing them here, as I'd neck myself if I took the time to repeat them.

Also, out of interest, who's your favourite tennis commentator?

All very good points. I sometimes wonder why commentary is even necessary for tennis.

Gary Wilkinson has always annoyed the hell out of me, he is the king of state the obvious. It really annoys me that commentators basically speak to the lowest forms of society. **** if you dont know crap like "Nadal claimed the french open and wimbledon back to back last year" then you shouldnt be watching tennis.

I don't mind that ^.

We all had to start watching somewhere without taking an entrance examination.

What grinds me is when someone plays a good point and they say "Ah that was just too good, there was nothing Player X could have done there." As if the play was out of his hands in a one-vs-one sport.

I also hate the patronising attitude to the women's game. Someone hits a serve considerably slower than a lot of the men's second serves and they're like "oh my God, that's an absolute screamer!"

Courier is a legend.

There's an Australian guy who in his after-match interview on the court, doesn't ask a question, but rather just says a comment and shoves the mic in the player's face.

"Jelena, we love you because you're courageous"
**shove mic in Jelena Dokic's face**

Chris Dittmar is his name I think.

Yep, that's Dittmar. I remember watching that and wondering what he expected her to say. Jim Courier's a much better interviewer for mine.

To a point, I agree - and even when there is commentary, you'd think commentators would realise with the minimal air-time between points, their words should be measured and analytical, rather than mindless drivel.

Haha yeh remember thinking that before the Tsonga match last night, he gets to ask the player one question before they go on court and the best he could come up with was "You had a great run last year and have created many good memories". What the hell is J-WT Supposed to say to that?

I like Courier but I miss the Mac commentating. He was so awesome on the mic.

Courier and Mac are the best. Don't mind Rasheed or Woody either. Think Courier and Woodbridge go well together.

agreed, they have the nice balance of talking about the technical and mental aspects of the players games.

JA is a bit lame at times, Dittmar was a world 1 squash player, and does the sports reports for 7 in Adelaide, I guess it's a bit of cost cutting from 7 to have him at the tennis rather than a former player but he has the runs on the board as an elite in a similar game.

So Gilchrist and Benaud to commentate on Baseball? Peter Sterling to Commenate Rugby Union? Phil Kearns on League?

7 would be better off having nobody asking questions before a match, does nothing for me.

Yeah it seems a bit pointless.

"You hoping to do well today?"
"Yeah, that would be nice."
"Good luck!"

The commentators for the ATP Masters events are great btw. Really know their tennis.

So its not really tennis commentary, but Channel 7's ****ty coverage.

Courier is a legend!

But, that Dittmar guy is a serious clown!