Son Of Coco
Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Gather round my Antipodean friends. We have serious business to discuss given the unconstitutional intervention by a member of our gathering of nations in the quagmire that is typically English cricket.
To cut to the chase - England are showing signs of not being the limp-wristed, tin-hearted, apologetic, draw-hunting, whimpering ne-er do wells we all know them to be, and that is all down to one man, Brendon 'Bazza' McCullum. He's taken all that we hold dear down here in the Southern Hemisphere and apparently, after 11 or so brain transplants*, shared this with the English players, who are now playing like Australians/Kiwis/South Africans always have.
He has betrayed our hemisphere in the same way Trevor Bayliss, Eddie Jones, and others who went before him have, and it's just not good enough. If England manage to hold this run of form together for longer than 5 minutes, it's only fair that Bazza is hit with some severe sanctions, and being forced to live in England for the rest of his life is about as severe as a sanction can get.
As such, I have convened this thread to decide what should happen to him, and the others, should he actually improve English cricket in the long term. Of course, he is still in the transition period at the moment, so any punishment will be suspended until after the next Ashes. However, should England beat us in those Ashes, it's only fair that he should be sent to purgatory/Wirral for the rest of his natural life*.
If you are an Antipodean cricket supporter, or someone who sympathises with our cause, please vote in the poll below. Any English supporters attempting to vote under the guise of being Antipodean will be immediately outed via sophisticated technology employed for this poll*.
Thank you for your participation.
* Their brains were swapped with that fish from Finding Nemo that forgets everything after a very short period of time. This allows Bazza to upload an attacking mindset into his players regularly without them ever actually remembering their default setting.
* Given it's Wirral, "the rest his natural life" = approximately 25 minutes.
* This technology utilises sensors in the keyboards to measure the forcefulness of the touch and face scanning/sensor technology focused on dental hygiene/tooth straightness.
To cut to the chase - England are showing signs of not being the limp-wristed, tin-hearted, apologetic, draw-hunting, whimpering ne-er do wells we all know them to be, and that is all down to one man, Brendon 'Bazza' McCullum. He's taken all that we hold dear down here in the Southern Hemisphere and apparently, after 11 or so brain transplants*, shared this with the English players, who are now playing like Australians/Kiwis/South Africans always have.
He has betrayed our hemisphere in the same way Trevor Bayliss, Eddie Jones, and others who went before him have, and it's just not good enough. If England manage to hold this run of form together for longer than 5 minutes, it's only fair that Bazza is hit with some severe sanctions, and being forced to live in England for the rest of his life is about as severe as a sanction can get.
As such, I have convened this thread to decide what should happen to him, and the others, should he actually improve English cricket in the long term. Of course, he is still in the transition period at the moment, so any punishment will be suspended until after the next Ashes. However, should England beat us in those Ashes, it's only fair that he should be sent to purgatory/Wirral for the rest of his natural life*.
If you are an Antipodean cricket supporter, or someone who sympathises with our cause, please vote in the poll below. Any English supporters attempting to vote under the guise of being Antipodean will be immediately outed via sophisticated technology employed for this poll*.
Thank you for your participation.
* Their brains were swapped with that fish from Finding Nemo that forgets everything after a very short period of time. This allows Bazza to upload an attacking mindset into his players regularly without them ever actually remembering their default setting.
* Given it's Wirral, "the rest his natural life" = approximately 25 minutes.
* This technology utilises sensors in the keyboards to measure the forcefulness of the touch and face scanning/sensor technology focused on dental hygiene/tooth straightness.
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