*Official* Group A General Discussion

[smash84]

Step 2) Do the expected thing and lose to Australia. Do not under any circumstances beat Australia, as this will cause teams to mentally move NZ from 'speed bump' to 'possible threat'. It's important not to peak early.
Step 3) Tactical loss to Zimbabwe, confirming to everyone that New Zealand are a bunch of complete no-hopers with no chance whatsoever in the tournament.
Step 4) Batsmen get themselves into form with a confidence boosting 320 batting first against Pakistan. Then bowlers bowl half volleys and half-trackers to Abdul Razzaq and Shahid Afridi as Pakistan get there in 37 overs.
Step 5) Manage to beat Canada comfortably, despite John Davison scoring a quick 70 from 40 balls.
Step 6) Narrowly beat an understrength Sri Lanka (who have already qualified) and sneak into the quarter finals on net run rate.
Step 7) Somehow end up playing the West Indies in the quarter finals. They have one of their off days and self destruct batting first. NZ limp to 153/6 in entirely unconvincing fashion and take the match.
Step 8) Play South Africa in the semi final. They enter the match as overwhelming favourites and do what South Africa does best.
Step 9) The Indian papers have already printed their celebratory headlines for the next day. But MS Dhoni has a nervous breakdown under the pressure while NZ play out of skins and beat India in the final. The stars align... This is just going to be the 1-in-20 day when everything goes right.

<Picture of Vettori holding up the trophy>

read it again and these points are just hilarious

 

[straw man]

My personal vision of the final is that India will pile up 398 batting first, but that Jesse, furious at being ignored during the 1st round of IPL bidding, and tetchy from nearly 2 months without a drink, blasts a 180 to get New Zealand on track. With the score on 320/3 after 40, he's sweated off so much weight that he gets tangled up in his own, now oversized, gear going for a quick single and gets run out. After his dismissal, we lose wickets steadily and with one ball to go are 394/9. Chris Martin (flown in due to a horror run of injuries to every competent ODI bowler in the country) then comes out and french cuts Zaheer for a 6 to win the tournament.

A french cut for six?! Bahnz, you are just being fanciful

 

[BeeGee]

Well, I've plotted New Zealand's path to winning the World Cup. Nostradamus has spoken - these are the nine no-nonsense guaranteed steps to World Cup glory. Place your bets now. Doubters be warned.

Step 1) Beat Kenya.
Step 2) Do the expected thing and lose to Australia. Do not under any circumstances beat Australia, as this will cause teams to mentally move NZ from 'speed bump' to 'possible threat'. It's important not to peak early.
Step 3) Tactical loss to Zimbabwe, confirming to everyone that New Zealand are a bunch of complete no-hopers with no chance whatsoever in the tournament.
Step 4) Batsmen get themselves into form with a confidence boosting 320 batting first against Pakistan. Then bowlers bowl half volleys and half-trackers to Abdul Razzaq and Shahid Afridi as Pakistan get there in 37 overs.
Step 5) Manage to beat Canada comfortably, despite John Davison scoring a quick 70 from 40 balls.
Step 6) Narrowly beat an understrength Sri Lanka (who have already qualified) and sneak into the quarter finals on net run rate.
Step 7) Somehow end up playing the West Indies in the quarter finals. They have one of their off days and self destruct batting first. NZ limp to 153/6 in entirely unconvincing fashion and take the match.
Step 8) Play South Africa in the semi final. They enter the match as overwhelming favourites and do what South Africa does best.
Step 9) The Indian papers have already printed their celebratory headlines for the next day. But MS Dhoni has a nervous breakdown under the pressure while NZ play out of skins and beat India in the final. The stars align... This is just going to be the 1-in-20 day when everything goes right.

<Picture of Vettori holding up the trophy>

Perfect.
The only unlikely scenario is meeting the WI in the quarter final (WI would need to top group B for that to happen).
Even though I agree that NZ losing to Aus would (bizarrely) increase our chances in the tournament, I'd SOOOOO love for us to beat them. That would really kick them when they're down.

In a strange way this has been a good build up for NZ, nobody rates us and we're totally flying under the radar. NZ always does better when we're written off by the opposition. If we can scrape our way into the quarter finals then anything could happen.

 

[smash84]

Perfect.
The only unlikely scenario is meeting the WI in the quarter final (WI would need to top group B for that to happen).
Even though I agree that NZ losing to Aus would (bizarrely) increase our chances in the tournament, I'd SOOOOO love for us to beat them. That would really kick them when they're down.

In a strange way this has been a good build up for NZ, nobody rates us and we're totally flying under the radar. NZ always does better when we're written off by the opposition. If we can scrape our way into the quarter finals then anything could happen.

would be quite funny if NZ meet Pak in the semi-final. Two unfancied sides going into the WC and ending up in the semi finals.

 

[BeeGee]

would be quite funny if NZ meet Pak in the semi-final. Two unfancied sides going into the WC and ending up in the semi finals.

As a NZ supporter, I'd love to see NZ make the semi-finals, but I'd hope it wasn't against Pakistan. Historically, NZ's performance against Pakistan in WC semi-finals is not the best

I'm very much looking forward to watching Pakistan in this WC. Misbah-ul-Haq is in the form of his life and he really has added a lot of backbone to the batting order. If they can just avoid any major batting collapses, I think they've got a great chance of going all the way in this tournament.

 

[smash84]

As a NZ supporter, I'd love to see NZ make the semi-finals, but I'd hope it wasn't against Pakistan. Historically, NZ's performance against Pakistan in WC semi-finals is not the best

I'm very much looking forward to watching Pakistan in this WC. Misbah-ul-Haq is in the form of his life and he really has added a lot of backbone to the batting order. If they can just avoid any major batting collapses, I think they've got a great chance of going all the way in this tournament.

True that......interesting article here

World Cup 2011: Battle-hardened Afridi the lynchpin for Pakistan | Cricket News | ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 | ESPN Cricinfo

 

[DingDong]

lol the kiwis have done the required for other teams to falsely feel a sense of security


now go out there and get it done boys

 

[smash84]

lol the kiwis have done the required for other teams to falsely feel a sense of security


now go out there and get it done boys

 

[Athlai]

Well, I've plotted New Zealand's path to winning the World Cup. Nostradamus has spoken - these are the nine no-nonsense guaranteed steps to World Cup glory. Place your bets now. Doubters be warned.

Step 1) Beat Kenya.
Step 2) Do the expected thing and lose to Australia. Do not under any circumstances beat Australia, as this will cause teams to mentally move NZ from 'speed bump' to 'possible threat'. It's important not to peak early.
Step 3) Tactical loss to Zimbabwe, confirming to everyone that New Zealand are a bunch of complete no-hopers with no chance whatsoever in the tournament.
Step 4) Batsmen get themselves into form with a confidence boosting 320 batting first against Pakistan. Then bowlers bowl half volleys and half-trackers to Abdul Razzaq and Shahid Afridi as Pakistan get there in 37 overs.
Step 5) Manage to beat Canada comfortably, despite John Davison scoring a quick 70 from 40 balls.
Step 6) Narrowly beat an understrength Sri Lanka (who have already qualified) and sneak into the quarter finals on net run rate.
Step 7) Somehow end up playing the West Indies in the quarter finals. They have one of their off days and self destruct batting first. NZ limp to 153/6 in entirely unconvincing fashion and take the match.
Step 8) Play South Africa in the semi final. They enter the match as overwhelming favourites and do what South Africa does best.
Step 9) The Indian papers have already printed their celebratory headlines for the next day. But MS Dhoni has a nervous breakdown under the pressure while NZ play out of skins and beat India in the final. The stars align... This is just going to be the 1-in-20 day when everything goes right.

<Picture of Vettori holding up the trophy>

This is pretty much the plan IMO.

 

[DingDong]

Well, I've plotted New Zealand's path to winning the World Cup. Nostradamus has spoken - these are the nine no-nonsense guaranteed steps to World Cup glory. Place your bets now. Doubters be warned.

Step 1) Beat Kenya.
Step 2) Do the expected thing and lose to Australia. Do not under any circumstances beat Australia, as this will cause teams to mentally move NZ from 'speed bump' to 'possible threat'. It's important not to peak early.
Step 3) Tactical loss to Zimbabwe, confirming to everyone that New Zealand are a bunch of complete no-hopers with no chance whatsoever in the tournament.
Step 4) Batsmen get themselves into form with a confidence boosting 320 batting first against Pakistan. Then bowlers bowl half volleys and half-trackers to Abdul Razzaq and Shahid Afridi as Pakistan get there in 37 overs.
Step 5) Manage to beat Canada comfortably, despite John Davison scoring a quick 70 from 40 balls.
Step 6) Narrowly beat an understrength Sri Lanka (who have already qualified) and sneak into the quarter finals on net run rate.
Step 7) Somehow end up playing the West Indies in the quarter finals. They have one of their off days and self destruct batting first. NZ limp to 153/6 in entirely unconvincing fashion and take the match.
Step 8) Play South Africa in the semi final. They enter the match as overwhelming favourites and do what South Africa does best.
Step 9) The Indian papers have already printed their celebratory headlines for the next day. But MS Dhoni has a nervous breakdown under the pressure while NZ play out of skins and beat India in the final. The stars align... This is just going to be the 1-in-20 day when everything goes right.

<Picture of Vettori holding up the trophy>

u r a god among men

 

[DingDong]

I believe in SA it stands for "We Choked"

lolz sig worthy
atleast we dont have the choker tag

 

[Flem274*]

lolz sig worthy
atleast we dont have the choker tag

Tbh, we should. Semi final specialists is NZ to a Z.

Apart from this WC, where we're just ****.

 

[straw man]

u r a god among men

I hope you're not being facetious DingDong

... cos I might have to smite you

 

[Bahnz]

How long before there's a game that's actually worth watching?

 

[Blaze 18]

How long before there's a game that's actually worth watching?

A little less than four days - South Africa vs West Indies on Thursday.

 

[Howe_zat]

England vs Netherlands to be a tight match.

 

[BeeGee]

New Zealand leading Group A.
I think the current Group A order is an accurate reflection of where the teams stand in ability.

(OK, even I couldn't type the above with a straight face, but I just wanted to get that in while I had the chance.)

 

[smash84]

New Zealand leading Group A.
I think the current Group A order is an accurate reflection of where the teams stand in ability.

(OK, even I couldn't type the above with a straight face, but I just wanted to get that in while I had the chance.)

 

[andruid]

Yes, from bottom to top we can all see a proper ranking of team strength.

 

[Burgey]

NZ-Aus later this week will be a poignant match up.