Player A vs Player B

[Swervy]

ton up for the thread....despite strong appeals from Richard early on to get it dismissed


This thread > Player A

 

[Lillian Thomson]

Please tell me this thread doesn't portray the possibility of Richard breeding.

 

[Flem274*]

Why is SST banned?

 

[Flem274*]

Please tell me this thread doesn't portray the possibility of Richard breeding.

Oh yes, yes it does. Though there is a likelihood that if his performance is not test standard all resultant products such as enjoyment and offspring will be deemed worthless by Richard and discarded.


















I am so going to hell.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Not very impressive First Chance Average for Player A.

 

[Richard]

Haha, sure Andy will be unspeakably flattered that you picked him! Need to change the "England" to "China" though, and the birthplace too.

 

[Richard]

I thought that was my choice

Aaaaaaah, but I have the veto. If there's a post I really don't like, it don't win no Award.

 

[Richard]

Please tell me this thread doesn't portray the possibility of Richard breeding.

Too bad.

 

[andruid]

Not very impressive First Chance Average for Player A.

What about his bowling stats

 

[Perm]

Why is SST banned?

Was wondering the same thing myself, and then I read this.

 

[Richard]

Silly boy, that's his second 7-dayer. Hope he learns his lesson soon.

 

[PhoenixFire]

Let's look into the future. The year is 2023, South Africa have just thrown away the World Cup final against China, by losing their last eight wickets for two runs in three overs. Alastair Cook has just retired from International Cricket with 53 Test centuries, 17,392 Test runs and two sixes. The Sydney Stars have won the World Ten10 Championships. Shane Warne has replaced Pelé as Viagra's TV salesamn.

Closer to home, Devon U11 are playing Oxfordshire. Despite 56* from Dominic Gerald Dickinson, Oxfordshire have rolled their hosts for less than 100 and completed a convincing win. Young Dominic, excited, runs off the pitch to tell his father the news.

'Dad, did you see me batting? Did you see me get fifty?'

'Humph,' Dickinson elder slaps the side of a grizzled, old whippet and hunches his shoulders. 'Fifty, lad? That weren't fifty. Tha' were dropped by that distinctly poor fielder James Pickup at slip on 7, tha' should've been given leg before on 22 and half your runs were scored agen' bowlers that were not County-standard.'

'Dad...'

'Eyup, I'm not finished. Tha's got a first chance average of 7, an all chance average against proper bowling of 14. That's nothing to be proud of, tha's shown tha'self poor to extremely poor at this level.'

What Dominic's father knew not, however, was that by naming his child Dominic Gerald, and seeing the lad born on August 7, 2012, he had managed to translate some of the old man's hero's fiery personality into the boy.

Little Dominic stood, stock still, beside his father's IKEA folding stool, his batting gloves still clutching his precious willow. 'Dad! I got fifty!' Lifting the blade and striding forwards, Dominic bent onto one knee and unfurled an angry sweep shot into the legs of his father's folding chair. 'Is that shot alright? Or is the chair poor to extremely poor at this level?'

It's my genuine belief that Dominic would have beaten his father to the end of his days that afternoon in Ottery St Mary, if I, and another parent, hadn't been on hand to pull his struggling body away from the stricken victim.

Best post ever.

 

[Jono]

Anyone made an AB de Villiers joke yet?

 

[Swervy]

Anyone made an AB de Villiers joke yet?

hehehe...
If only he had another middle name, something like Cornelius, and the V was replaced by an F (which to be fair kinda sounds like a V)

ABCDEFilliers



sorry I am tired

 

[Jamee999]

Let's look into the future. The year is 2023, South Africa have just thrown away the World Cup final against China, by losing their last eight wickets for two runs in three overs. Alastair Cook has just retired from International Cricket with 53 Test centuries, 17,392 Test runs and two sixes. The Sydney Stars have won the World Ten10 Championships. Shane Warne has replaced Pelé as Viagra's TV salesamn.

Closer to home, Devon U11 are playing Oxfordshire. Despite 56* from Dominic Gerald Dickinson, Oxfordshire have rolled their hosts for less than 100 and completed a convincing win. Young Dominic, excited, runs off the pitch to tell his father the news.

'Dad, did you see me batting? Did you see me get fifty?'

'Humph,' Dickinson elder slaps the side of a grizzled, old whippet and hunches his shoulders. 'Fifty, lad? That weren't fifty. Tha' were dropped by that distinctly poor fielder James Pickup at slip on 7, tha' should've been given leg before on 22 and half your runs were scored agen' bowlers that were not County-standard.'

'Dad...'

'Eyup, I'm not finished. Tha's got a first chance average of 7, an all chance average against proper bowling of 14. That's nothing to be proud of, tha's shown tha'self poor to extremely poor at this level.'

What Dominic's father knew not, however, was that by naming his child Dominic Gerald, and seeing the lad born on August 7, 2012, he had managed to translate some of the old man's hero's fiery personality into the boy.

Little Dominic stood, stock still, beside his father's IKEA folding stool, his batting gloves still clutching his precious willow. 'Dad! I got fifty!' Lifting the blade and striding forwards, Dominic bent onto one knee and unfurled an angry sweep shot into the legs of his father's folding chair. 'Is that shot alright? Or is the chair poor to extremely poor at this level?'

It's my genuine belief that Dominic would have beaten his father to the end of his days that afternoon in Ottery St Mary, if I, and another parent, hadn't been on hand to pull his struggling body away from the stricken victim.

This is brilliant on about 158 different levels

 

[roseboy64]

Good work from Pickup TBH.

 

[andruid]

I hear player B has never got out to the reverse swinging yorker.

 

[roseboy64]

Player A has the better strike rate though. Always better to score faster.

 

[Jakester1288]

What's this about? How do you know who to vote? I need to see stats or profiles etc.

 

[roseboy64]

Sarcastic thread TBH. Unfortunately you've earned yourself an award. You'll see which in a day or two.