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Player A vs Player B

Banana

  • Total voters
    37
andruid

andruid

International Coach
Richard said:
Ah, I have had a good time, learnt a lot of things, met some great people without wasting 3 years studying something I wasn't going to use. Uni is far from an essential way to do that.
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Unless you consider the degree you took was something you could use I disagree with you entirely.
 
Top_Cat

Top_Cat

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Neil Pickup said:
Let's look into the future. The year is 2023, South Africa have just thrown away the World Cup final against China, by losing their last eight wickets for two runs in three overs. Alastair Cook has just retired from International Cricket with 53 Test centuries, 17,392 Test runs and two sixes. The Sydney Stars have won the World Ten10 Championships. Shane Warne has replaced Pelé as Viagra's TV salesamn.

Closer to home, Devon U11 are playing Oxfordshire. Despite 56* from Dominic Gerald Dickinson, Oxfordshire have rolled their hosts for less than 100 and completed a convincing win. Young Dominic, excited, runs off the pitch to tell his father the news.

'Dad, did you see me batting? Did you see me get fifty?'

'Humph,' Dickinson elder slaps the side of a grizzled, old whippet and hunches his shoulders. 'Fifty, lad? That weren't fifty. Tha' were dropped by that distinctly poor fielder James Pickup at slip on 7, tha' should've been given leg before on 22 and half your runs were scored agen' bowlers that were not County-standard.'

'Dad...'

'Eyup, I'm not finished. Tha's got a first chance average of 7, an all chance average against proper bowling of 14. That's nothing to be proud of, tha's shown tha'self poor to extremely poor at this level.'

What Dominic's father knew not, however, was that by naming his child Dominic Gerald, and seeing the lad born on August 7, 2012, he had managed to translate some of the old man's hero's fiery personality into the boy.

Little Dominic stood, stock still, beside his father's IKEA folding stool, his batting gloves still clutching his precious willow. 'Dad! I got fifty!' Lifting the blade and striding forwards, Dominic bent onto one knee and unfurled an angry sweep shot into the legs of his father's folding chair. 'Is that shot alright? Or is the chair poor to extremely poor at this level?'

It's my genuine belief that Dominic would have beaten his father to the end of his days that afternoon in Ottery St Mary, if I, and another parent, hadn't been on hand to pull his struggling body away from the stricken victim.
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Loved it. I do prefer the Tarantino cut, though, where instead of a little wimpy hit to the chair, little Dominic ties his Dad to a chair, removes his Dad's ear, chops it into 50 pieces, forces him to eat it then shoots him 50 times.
 
Son Of Coco

Son Of Coco

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Swervy said:
Big difference between "not taking seriously" (ie, having a bit of fun) and useless rubbish like this

OK, sorry for not knowing what TF was? One mans meat is another mans poison Richard. Because you don't find it particularly amusing or worthy doesnt means others don't. If the powers that be wish to, I am sure they will ship it elsewhere out in the aether.



Actually I do have a problem with it.
I am madly jealous that you are hitchin up with Jenny A, and so please be a bit more sensitive about it. It is cutting me up inside here, and all you do is ram it down my throat that you are going to marry dear Jen. Please have a heart Richard




Hey I agree, they can be interesting, however they tend to develop into a huge stalemate pretty quickly....simply because you refuse to admit you are wrong...(only kidding Richard)

Anyway, nuff said...it is ironic that you have made about 7 or 8 posts in this thread which is only about 30 odd long.
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I think this thread's cut a little close to the bone for some. Interestingly, 'Hear, Hear Lend Me Your Ear' had the same effect.
 
Son Of Coco

Son Of Coco

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Richard said:
That's pretty good. A small tweak or two and I might allow it to be this week's Skull.
For starters, we've no plans of being in Devon in 15 years' time. For seconds, I'm unlikely to have a Yorkshire accent again in my lifetime. For thirds, I won't be sitting in any folding chairs. For fourths, I certainly won't be needing a Humbersider's help in disciplining my own children. They'll be learning to only value their runs if they were scored chancelessly before they even think about representing their county.

Oh, and for fifths - you know my stance on "whippets".
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I thought that was my choice :happy:
 
silentstriker

silentstriker

The Wheel is Forever
I'd disown my son if he takes up cricket and decided to be a batsman. Or better yet, tell everyone about his most embarrassing moments so he can get sledged out of the league, or forced to be a fast bowler so he can hit some heads in response. How's that for parenting? :p

After some therapy, if he doesn't indeed have any fast bowling talent, I could see him being a step and fetch it bowler, but never a batsman. Batting higher than 8 earns a beating at home :D...
 
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