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Thread: From a neutral perspective, these Ashes suck

  1. #1
    International Regular Stapel's Avatar
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    From a neutral perspective, these Ashes suck

    They really do!

    Yesterday, I returned to Holland from what should have been My Great Ashes Holiday Trip. Normally, me & mrs Stapel go camping in France or Italy. A couple of months ago, my loving wife, fully aware I love to watch cricket, suggested we could go camping in England and watch cricket. A big offer! Rather than filling the boot of the car with boxes of wine, she would watch me drinking ales & bitters in a cricket stadium. Happily and thankfulIy I took the offer.

    And spent 600 euros on tickets for Test 3, Day 4 & Test 4, Day 4. You can see where this story goes........

    We watched the last session of Day 2, Test 3 in a pub, a five minute walk from our camping site near Nottingham. Even mrs Stapel could see the Test wouldn't get into its fourth day. So the next morning we drove up to Birmingham and see if we would get lucky. We did: for 25 quid each, we got inside. We couldn't sit together though. Mrs Stapel ended up between well-behaving retired Australians. I ended up in The Hollies Stand.

    At 10:20 am, Day1, Test 4, I was having coffee under the awning (very useful in Italy, but for completely different purposes quite useful too in England) of our tent, pitched up not too far from Nottingham. It was gloomy, just not raining. One of these instances one would actually be right to send ones rivals in, after winning the toss. When Alistair Cook did so, I got myself on a train to Nottingham. I had this gut feeling three day tests would be the norm....... When I got myself seated, at 11:08 am, I checked the score on my cell: 10/3 in 1.2 overs. As the train entered Nottingham, Australia were 6 down. When I crossed the actual Trent Bridge and approached the first shady black market ticket broker, cheers would come form the stadium. Despite having missed 7 wickets, the bastard wanted 250 pounds for a ticket. It told him to **** off, and decided to watch the proceedings in the pub. Shortly after lunch, I got in for 50 quid. I had missed 11 wickets.....

    Now, I feel quite happy for that Edgbaston Hollies Stand experience! And the atmosphere in Nottingham, including a very nice after party at the pub accros the bridge was brilliant! Yet, this was not what my trip to England was for.

    I had been looking forward to watch Jimmy bowl (bowling 20 outswingers and then the inswinger), to watch Ryan Harris bowl, and to watch Pub make an innings (and career) rescueing ton. But most of all, I was looking forward to gripping test cricket. And that means tests with the momentum, rather than the ball swinging! Apart form the first day in Cardiff, the only momentum swing was from test to test. Nice in itself, but not what test cricket makes test cricket.

    And that's really why these series suck!
    artvandalay likes this.
    Madness. Exhilarating. Magical. Netherlands have crossed the line in an unbelievable 13.5 overs.
    It's like watching a Gayle from each end. And when one Gayle gets out.. Another Gayle comes in...

  2. #2
    International Coach mr_mister's Avatar
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    they should give Baz Zuiderent the callup imo
    Magrat Garlick likes this.

  3. #3
    Hall of Fame Member duffer's Avatar
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    Yeah, so did the last Ashes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jono View Post
    True, a Duffer "heh" is like 50 likes.

  4. #4
    International Coach hendrix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stapel View Post
    my loving wife, fully aware I love to watch cricket, suggested we could go camping in England and watch cricket.
    Divorce her so you can marry her again.


  5. #5
    International Captain Niall's Avatar
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    Yeah, its the pinnacle of test cricket due to its history etc, but don't blame any neutral for not loving the last few series, as pretty much every test their wasn't much intrigue going after the first few days!

    The 2013 series was much closer and interesting despite the 3-0 scoreline.

  6. #6
    International Vice-Captain Tangles's Avatar
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    I watched the first days at Edgbaston and can feel for any neutral who paid to watch that. As an Aussie fan it wasn't fun to watch.

  7. #7
    International Debutant hazsa19's Avatar
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    That is rotten luck! Out of curiosity, how many Ashes matches since 05 you have really enjoyed from a neutrals perspective? I would guess Adelaide 06, Cardiff 09, TB and Durham 13... And that's about it? It's not like the Ashes was awash with competitive cricket pre 05 either.

  8. #8
    Evil Scotsman
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    lol

  9. #9
    State Vice-Captain burr's Avatar
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    From a neutral perspective many series suck these days. I almost can't believe some of the matches I watched from the 90s to mid 2000s - Windies 95, SA 97, India 01. Would struggle to get that quality of cricket now.
    artvandalay likes this.
    'It is hard to recall a batsman quite so serene, so unrushed, so unflappable.' Chris Ryan on ... look to the left. Ahhhh.

  10. #10
    Evil Scotsman
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    Nah that's bollocks, there's been plenty of high quality cricket that's been played when there's been some thrashings doled out. England's dismantling of India in 2011 was high class stuff.

    You're confusing quality with exciting. The two of course aren't mutually exclusive, but periods of bad cricket can lead to great games/series.

  11. #11
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Howe_zat's Avatar
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    Yeah England have played miles better than in 2013 and Aus with the notable exception of Ryan Harris haven't really been any worse
    Join the CW Commentary Discord - https://discord.gg/2cYpfrf

  12. #12
    International Captain Niall's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Howe_zat;3526550]Yeah England have played miles better than in 2013 and Aus with the notable exception of Ryan Harris haven't really been any worse[/QUOTE]

    Clarke?

  13. #13
    International Captain Adders's Avatar
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    From an England fan perspective, these Ashes ****ing rock.
    Black_Warrior likes this.
    You flew out to India
    When your country needed you
    Century on debut ,
    What a find.....

    Na na na na na na na na na

    Ali Ali Cook , Ali Cook , Ali Ali Cook

    Na na na na na na na na na

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDpy9JPZH3E

  14. #14
    Virat Kohli (c) Jono's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Howe_zat View Post
    Yeah England have played miles better than in 2013 and Aus with the notable exception of Ryan Harris haven't really been any worse
    You don't think Australia have batted worse this series than they did in 2013?
    "I am very happy and it will allow me to have lot more rice."

    Eoin Morgan on being given a rice cooker for being Man of the Match in a Dhaka Premier Division game.

  15. #15
    Request Your Custom Title Now! OverratedSanity's Avatar
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    It's been ok. 2013/14,even though it was a one-sided affair was more fun to watch.
    Quote Originally Posted by TNT View Post
    You need to clap a cows c**t over your head and get a woolly bull to f**k some sense into you.

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