Zimbabwe vs New Zealand: As one sided as the Men’s Ashes down-under
Bailey Macnamara |
The last time England won an away Test match in the Men’s Ashes, Barack Obama was in his first term as United States president and the UK was in the first year of a coalition government!
It was January 2011, Mitchell Starc was bowling to the left and to the right, and England were wrapping up a 3-1 Ashes series win while Graeme Swann led the players in a sprinkler style celebration dance.
But since then, 15 Tests have passed between Australia and England down-under and the latter have not been able to notch up even one victory! They have managed one draw in both of the last two but the overall record reads 13 defeats in one of the most one-sided match-ups seen of late.
Of course, the chirping has started ahead of the up-coming series in November, but why wait until then to witness a contest which in one particular sport would probably be halted by the referee after day one of the first Test.
A Trip To Bulawayo
Cricket fans of a one-sided fixture should immediately divert their eyes to the south west of Zimbabwe where the Chevrons are currently hosting New Zealand in the second Test. This and all other international games can be found on FIRST’s list of cricket sites.
The first game of the series was over inside three days with the Black Caps triumphing by nine wickets and there’s every chance that this Test will conclude sooner rather than later once again.
That result followed a similar pattern seen since a drawn Test in December 2000 with New Zealand winning all seven matches in this format during the quarter of a century which has followed and all bar one by a very significant margin!
- Zimbabwe vs New Zealand, July 2025 – NZ won by nine wickets
- Zimbabwe vs New Zealand, August 2016 – NZ won by 254 runs
- Zimbabwe vs New Zealand, July 2016 – NZ won by an innings & 117 runs
- New Zealand vs Zimbabwe, January 2012 – NZ won by an innings & 301 runs
- Zimbabwe vs New Zealand, November 2011 – NZ won by 34 runs
- Zimbabwe vs New Zealand, August 2005 – NZ won by an innings & 46 runs
- Zimbabwe vs New Zealand, August 2005 – NZ won by an innings & 294 runs
- New Zealand vs Zimbabwe, December 2000 – Match drawn
Of course, there are plenty of reasons for why New Zealand are so dominant over Zimbabwe, but the Black Caps should be given credit for taking on the African side as England’s clash with them at Trent Bridge earlier this summer was the first in Test cricket since 2003 when a certain Jimmy Anderson made his debut!
The Ashes Awaits
And talking of Jimmy, or actually, ‘Sir’ Jimmy as we should say, this 2025/26 Ashes tour will be the first time that England have not had him in and around the squad this century!
Okay, he made his Test debut against Zimbabwe at Lord’s in 2003 but was called up and made his international debut during the triangular ODI series which was placed in between the third and fourth Tests – how times change.
So that takes us back to the memorable 1998/99 Ashes tour when under the captaincy of Alec Stewart England managed to draw at the Gabba, won at the MCG and enjoyed a Darren Gough hat-trick in Sydney although they did go on to lose that Test and the series 3-1.
Everyone remembers that Jimmy was a big part of the 2010/11 victory, famously telling Mitch Johnson to “shhhhh” before and after taking a wicket, but in the same way that Stuart Broad writes off the 2021/22 series as it involved covid bubbles, maybe Australia should just write off the 3-1 defeat as they had the most uncompetitive squad ever seen.
How about a drawn series? You know, the ones which we have had for the Men’s Ashes in the UK the last two times in 2019 and 2023, not to mention the recently concluded epic between England and India contesting the Anderson-Tendulkar Trophy.
Well, the last drawn Men’s Ashes series in Australia was the 1965/66 series which saw three games shared and one victory for each side.
Forget a one-sided Men’s Ashes, it’s time to end sixty years of hurt.
Bring back the drawn-down-under special!
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