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Broncomans tour of T&T - The inside story from the man himself!


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HAHA, its gonna take more than 1 innings for it to stick ;)
ill get JD to send you down a few at training :p

Mr Mxyzptlk

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Great reading Simon. I really enjoyed these last few entries, especially: "I know i was set for a century until the umpire got confused with his signals, while attempting to call a wide he gave me out LBW. I took the decision like any international cricketer would. so 15 minutes later after being ******ed from the crease by security the game was set to recommence." Classic!

Keep it up. :)


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thanks Liam, good to hear some feedback, i hope everyone else is enjoying them too.....


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Entry 10 - The Seventh Game

Back to the exciting format of the 40 over, one day games today. We are playing Marabella again which should make for an interesting match. The Pitch looks good, i think im in some pretty good form and S Vimes is also looking very good after his last up ton. Pretty boy John Davison has been shocked by the news that one of his girlfriends has to leave the country to be with her sick husband, im not sure how hes going to cope having just 5 of this chicks with him today.

To the cricket. A pearlerof a deck and bowl first, god knows whats with this captain! He must have a couple of bucks on us to lose! Their innings was very good indeed, 6/211 will be quite tough to chse, their batsman did the hard work early on and got the rewards when they settled. The innings was rocked by one majot incident, when Younis Kahn was completing the second run after getting off the mark, he followed through too far and knocked our little keeper over. Samuel had to go off for treatment for about 4 overs, but he had the last laugh later on when he produced the sledge that eventually got the big man out. Oh and he also took the catch. He was on his way for 74.I was delighted with my bowling performance today, 1-34 from 7 overs. Easily the best ive bowled since i arrived here. JD got smashed, 0-17 from 3 overs, i expect he will be dropped for the next game if his attitude doesnt improve. Donkey of the day went to Rusty who missed a clear run out chance late in the innings and also feel asleep in the outer while signing a few autographs for the kids. Hes another who needs to start picking up his act.

Well our innings was sensational. What can you say, 129 not out from 100 balls, with 18 fours and 2 sixes. Theres not much more you can say except that im quite possibly now the worlds best one day batsman. If that doesnt make the Cricketweb XI selectors take note, i dont know what will. It was a sensational dig and i think i could have quite possibly gone onto a double century had we have been setting a total rather than changing. Samuel "Gilchrist" Vimes also played well at the top of the order, smashing 47 from 42 balls including 3 sixes. However its not all good news for him, one of his sixes landed in the car park and broke the window on the team bus. He will be washing dishes at the hotel for the rest of the tour to pay for the damage no doubt.

2/212 from just 32 overs ment we had won yet another one day game. While we dont have great players, we are playing well as a team, there are still a few guys wo havent been accepted as part of the team, but they just arent trying hard enough. Im very happy with my man of the match performance and just hope to continue it into the next match.

Next entry will be the next game and that interview with JD is coming soon.


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Interview with John Davison

Ive taken some time off training to have a quick chat with everyone's favourite player John Davison.

broncoman: You took the cricket world by storm at the 2003 World cup, how has your life changed since then?
John Davison: Well im a lot more popular with the ladies for one, i can get gigs like this as an international Pro and i can certainly afford better cars!

broncoman: Yes i can see you are quite popular with the girls, just how many girlfriends do you have?
JD: 5 i think at the moment.

broncoman: is that all?
JD: Yeh, its been a bad month.

broncoman: How do you rate the cricketers in this part of the world?
JD: As you can see by how poorly the windies are going at the moment, not very highly. Most of these guys couldnt beat time with a stick.

broncoman: You havent exactly played that great.
JD: I dont need to, i already know how good i am and how poor the rest of these losers in the team are.

broncoman: Has anyone in our team impressed you?
JD: Yes, Theres one that stands out, Rusty Kahnai is a super little
player, reminds me of myself really, likes scoring his runs fast.

broncoman: Yeh he is a lot like you, neither of you are all that good and have very few friends on the team.
JD: Plenty of people like me, i do, thats enough as far as im concerned.

broncoman: yes im sure, what do you hope to achieve for the rest of your cricketing career?
JD: Hopefully become the worlds best player since bradman and eventually eclipse him.

broncoman: Thats a rather high ambition dont you think?
JD: i guess so, but i think im talented enough to be better, after all, Bradman didnt bowl!

broncoman: where do you see yourself playing in the future?
JD: Hopefully captain of the South Australian within a year or 2, this lehmann guy has nothing really. I wouldnt mind being given a chance in that World XI team to play the Aussies, in fact i think the selectors would be silly to leave me out.

broncoman: well JD thats all for today, thanks for taking the time out of our valuable training session
JD: Yeah no problems, i dont really need to train anyway.

next entry will be the next game....


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only a couple more to go, which is good cause im runnign out of material lol!
ill try and finish off with a bang!


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Entry 12 - The Eighth Game

Getting down to the end of the tour now, Its been a real blast, but theres still some cricket to be played before we get down to the partying! Today we play the Thunderbirds again. They should be one of the better sides we have faced, fellow cricketweb XI players Ash Chaulk and Mr Mxyzptlk will line up for them and it should be a good game of cricket.

I took over the captaincy for todays game, im pretty please things started well winning the toss, we sent them in on a very dodgey looking pitch. I feel i can get the best out of the team today due to my good relationships with the guys and my all round cricket ability. I was very quickly regretting my decsion to send them in. Ash Chaulk, who had a minor run in with the umpire during his innings, (he verbally abused him), was tearing my bowlers to all parts. But its moments like these when you need to put your hand up as a captain, Ash crashed a ball to my left at point and from no where i grabbed it out of the sky and took a ripper of a catch. Again Ash verbally abused the umpire like any international cricketer should and he made his way off to tear the dressing room apart.

In the end we restricted them to a very small total of 3/169, some excellent fielding, mainly by me, some tight bowling, not by me (0/18 from 3) and some great captaincy from me had us in a great position to win the match. Chubbs Bibb is really a great cricketer, picked up another 2 wickets and im looking into ways i can pack him in my suitcase to bring him back to the dev league for the cricketweb XI. The cricket world really needs more of guys like Chubbs. JD, who was lucky to be given 1 over after all the whinging and complaining he did in the field took the other wicket for us. Mr Mxyzptlk compiled a classy 9 not out to have the spectators in awe of his batting.

We eventually cruised to victory in the 37th over. Simmo with 56 not out was the best, but i was again impressed with our chirpy little keeper Samuel Vimes. 45 from 58 was made in very trying conditions and i should congratulate him on his innings, but i wont. I feel i was given yet another poor decision today. Mr Mxyzptlk picked up yet another home town wicket, i was given out caught behind off a very lethargic ball. But you could have quite easily driven a truck in the gap between bat and ball. He finished with unimpressive figures of 2/36 and he needs to start questioning his methods of gaining wickets. Ash Chaulk had a rare over at the end, going for just 3 runs.

Another well deserved one day win to leave us unbeaten and ive really enjoyed my time here.

stay tuned for more soon....


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Entry 13 - The Ninth Game

After my last effort its no surprise to see ive retained the captaincy for the side. My international experience and all round awesomeness make me a fantastic skipper in my opinion. The players have responded well to the recent news of my appointment and are very keen to impress in front of a test cricketer like myself. Another three day game today, we have decided as a team to play more attacking cricket to entertain the crowd, because quite honestly the last few games have been as boring as bat crap.

I lost the toss, not a great start, but to my shock we were sent in. The pitch is a beauty, should provide buckets of runs and give the bowlers nothing to work with. I guess the aim now is to try and make enough runs first up to ensure we dont have to bat twice. Immy opened up with my good self, he played his traditional slow innings, but of course i set about attacking the bowlers. Ill probably get a fine from the match referee for lunging at the Powderpuffs wicketkeeper with my bat. But on the cricket side of things i was crusing, 29 from 31 with 6 fours and was on my way to another ton before being caught. I know it didnt carry, as i was proven right by the video replay, which the umpire can watch on the tv i launched through his car window. Highlight of the innings was certainly the performance of our plucky little wicketkeeper, Samuel Vimes played another crushing knock of 73 from 66 balls. Every single one of his 16 fours was precision timing all the way along the carpet, most through the slips though. He certainly had the luck on his side, being dropped twice and also being bowled off a no ball. Hopefully for me his luck will run out soon and i will start to out shine him.

We finished 288 all out. On this pitch a very poor effort. Not enough application from the batsman and umpires. I swear these guys get their umpiring certificates out of a wheat-bix box. Of the Cricketweb XI players for the opposition Ash Chaulk did a good job taking 2/14 and Mr Mxyzptlk bowled quite poorly to be honest, he needs to start questioning his future in the game in my opinion. He finished with 0/31, even those figures were a lot better than he probably deserved.

A top bowling and captaincy performance saw us dismiss san fdo for just 189. This pitch is a ripped and none of the batsman are taking advantage, quite amazing really. Mr Mxyzptlk made a decent 42, but had several (7) massive LBW shouts turned down. Simply unbelieveable. Ash Chaulk struggled to be out for 4 from 22 balls. When the CWXI get back into camp ill be sure to remind him of his dismissal to JD. I think the ball bounced twice it was that bad! Smethers was the best of the bowlers taking 3/42. JD took 3/11 but he really doesnt deserve a mention after a few of the things he said about the team (me) in the press over the last few days. Vimes added 2 catches to his tally.

If there was a nobel prize awarded for cricket i think id be a great shot at winning it. Not only am i a fantastic player, but also a top notch captain. My stunning 97 from 93 balls in the second innings, which was highlighted by 20 fantastic fours and one MASSIVE six was a real turning point in my cricketing career. The ball has never come on better and im feeling really positve. But the highlight of the day came at the point of my declaration to try and set up a result. Sure a total of 390 was going to be bloody tough to chase in 70 odd overs, but i think it gave both teams the chance to win it. 4/267 we finished, some great cricket from me and some pretty decent batting from the other blokes to go with. Gilly Vimes added 31 not out to his run tally. Chalky grabbed another wicket for the Powderpuffs, while Mr Mxyzptlk improved, but still didnt impress me.

Well another draw. we could only get 6 wickets and they feel well short. But it was worth a shot i feel at trying to get the win. Timothy Ramnerine made a good century for them and i have no problem admitting when we are outclassed by a good batsman, but this will not be one of those occasions. Chalk (1) and Mr Mxyzptlk (0) again struggled. I came on at first change, but a twinge in my back ment i only sent down the 2 overs and was happy to let the other guys take over. JD somehow won the man of the match award, took 3/21 in the second dig. I really need to find out who awards this thing, its really embarrasing a guy of his ego and lack of ability can go so far. Anyway another draw, whos to complain!


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i think thats all of them too, i believe i was only contracted for 9 games, if it is all ill do a round up in the next few days...