an ode to Neil Wagner

[wellAlbidarned]

to the tune of Katy Perry's "Roar"

Verse

I used to bowl it on a good length

Pitch it up and hope that it swings

Didn’t get many wickets

Through good cricket

Couldn’t hit the seam to save my life

Southee thought I had a hot wife

Being a third seamer

Isn’t every bowlers dream

Bridge

I sent one down

And it bounced up

Hit the splice and squared him up

Hear that sound, hear the crowd

Stare him down then turn around

The batsman ducks under the ball

Thinks I haven’t got a chance at all

But I can tell, I can smell

Got ten overs left in this spell

Chorus

I’ve pissed off the umpire, tryin’

To bowl all these bouncers

Cos I am Neil Wagner

And you’re gonna hear me roarrrrrrr

 

[Bijed]

Beautiful. I'd generally expect an ode to a player to be longer than this, but in true Wagner fashion you kept it short

 

[SillyCowCorner1]

Main weapon in my draft fantasy team for this year.

 

[Burgey]

Does Wagner have abilities?

 

[Athlai]

Does Wagner have abilities?

What Wagner does have, is a very particular set of skills. Skills he has acquired over a very long career. Skills that make him a nightmare for people like you. If you let this thread go now, that’ll be the end of it. He won’t look for you, he will not pursue you. But if you don’t. He will look for you. He will find you. And he will bowl short to you.

 

[Prince EWS]

Does Wagner have abilities?

Nah not really. The joy of Wagner is his method of finding success without abilities.

 

[S.Kennedy]

Surely Wagner should have an opera written for him?

 

[Arachnodouche]

Beautiful. I'd generally expect an ode to a player to be longer than this, but in true Wagner fashion you kept it short

hehe, but then there is this aberration

 

[wellAlbidarned]

Coming soon: an ode to Colin de Grandhomme

 

[_Ed_]

Coming soon: an ode to Colin de Grandhomme

Yessss.

 

[The Hutt Rec]

Beats the “We Cheat At Cricket” song ... keep this up and you’ll land yourself a job at a radio station.