20/20 Media (brought to you by BetFare)

[HeathDavisSpeed]

When asked about the building animosity between East and West Robbham, Heath Davis proved to be largely ambivolent.

"Pah. Robbham, Davistow, Fardingham? Who gives a **** really. I don't even live in this ****ing pig-sty of a country, I prefer to live the high life in Ouagadougou where my money gets me more beer and more ladies. Frankly, the only reason I've ended up as Captain of Fardingham was that the CWBCBCBHHBSGHHS called me at 5am when I was tanked and asked if I'd do it. It was only later that I found out they'd already asked Morgan Burridge, who'd turned it down. I'm just glad Fardingham has a good bar."

When asked to clarify his stance on CWLand, Davis would only reply that "I only ever come back to this ****heap because of the Blacks - I tell ya baby, that's where it's at - the only higher life than living it up in Burkina Faso!"

 

[Goughy]

Biggest rival your ever increasing gut iirc.

Nath, are you following me?

Id give a comment back, but your statement is too accurate to argue with.

 

[ash chaulk]

I THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE A HUGE CAPTION TOO
by ARTHUR

Nixontown Ninjas icon Player Ash Chaulk has confirmed that his bull**** and alround charm will crush teams when they come out to Bat. Being the only CW Black player on the Ninjas books he knows a lot of things that other CW Black players dont want being said out aloud. He has revealed a few secrets to Captain Thomas the tank engine and friends.

• 
  Dan Smith - Nice upper body with a shirt on, oilly underneath
  Nath Patrick - Chicken legs, will snap at a direct hit
  Heath Davis - just mention the word trolley and he crashes out
  Andrew Cloete - Goes blind at the sight of a nice Rack (looking at you Wilson)
  Kev Gough - Into beastiality
  Zacariah Gelman - Goes weak at the knees of a great randition of Mariah Careys "Heart Breaker"
  James Stedman - Will not show up at the game if an invitiation to appear on Wheel Of Fortune, CW's favourite game show hosted by Stephen Burke (Burko) and the lovely Jenny Law as the game show girl.

He has also gone on to say that he'll win the 20/20 off his own bat, listening to his Ipod with his classic "Cant get enough of your love baby" Blasting through the headphones.


Chaulk was also quoted in saying "James Nixon is the special one, anyone in his way and you will be crushed"

Nixon the CW star overseas player is looking fit in the nets. "He's a sneaky lil wicket taker" Coach John said.

Chaulk was also keen to say "You stupid ERUB and WRRW you sound like boyfriend and girlfriend fighting over who gets to use the last of the hot wax strips" Pointing out that he thought WRRW was probably the girl.

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Was expecting the return of ARTHUR.

 

[superkingdave]

Origins of Robham Rivalry Revealed
Defection Still Sparks Feeling - Bazza McAllister

It may be more than 60 years since Brian Bennett packed his kit bag and moved accross town to join the West Robham Rangers, but todays' highly rated West Robham side, now known as the Rabid Wolves and boasting Bennett's great-grandson Sean amongst its stars, still has to deal with the reprocussions of those bygone days.

The circumstances surrounding Bennett's move remain clouded in mystery, with both sides spouting different versions of events. Wolves' devotees are adamant Bennett had little choice but to leave an East Robham side mired in off and on field problems, Corruption, Nepotism and Violence the by-words under long time president Col. Murphy. Accross town the opinion is much different, Bennett considered to have walked out on a team 'on the verge' of greatness because of an inflated sense of self-importance and having his request for under the table match payments turned down.

Whatever the real reasons, the Rangers went on to dominate the next decade of club cricket with Bennett in the side, whilst the East Robham boys haven't won a title since the walkout.

Over the years various incidents have served to keep the blood boiling between the sides, the most extreme being the arson attack on the West Robham pavilion, a crime never solved though there was no doubt in West Robham where the culprit hailed from. In recent times East Robham have defied social and economic problems in the district to rebuild their side and once again stand at a level where they represent a challenge to their cross city rivals after so long being the object of pity and derision. The signing of Dave Mohammed in particular has excited the press and public alike, if anyone can bring success where its needed it is Mohammed. West Robham may have to up its game to keep ahead of it's neighbours, but whatever the outcome there will be plenty of needle in the games, regardless of FC club affiliation.



As Jim Morrison once said

'The west is the best,
The west is the best,
Get here and we'll do the rest "

 

[pasag]

I THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE A HUGE CAPTION TOO


Nixontown Ninjas icon Player Ash Chaulk has confirmed that his bull**** and alround charm will crush teams when they come out to Bat. Being the only CW Black player on the Ninjas books he knows a lot of things that other CW Black players dont want being said out aloud. He has revealed a few secrets to Captain Thomas the tank engine and friends.

• 
  Dan Smith - Nice upper body with a shirt on, oilly underneath
  Nath Patrick - Chicken legs, will snap at a direct hit
  Heath Davis - just mention the word trolley and he crashes out
  Andrew Cloete - Goes blind at the sight of a nice Rack (looking at you Wilson)
  Kev Gough - Into beastiality
  Zacariah Gelman - Goes weak at the knees of a great randition of Mariah Careys "Heart Breaker"
  James Stedman - Will not show up at the game if an invitiation to appear on Wheel Of Fortune, CW's favourite game show hosted by Stephen Burke (Burko) and the lovely Jenny Law as the game show girl.

He has also gone on to say that he'll win the 20/20 off his own bat, listening to his Ipod with his classic "Cant get enough of your love baby" Blasting through the headphones.


Chaulk was also quoted in saying "James Nixon is the special one, anyone in his way and you will be crushed"

Nixon the CW star overseas player is looking fit in the nets. "He's a sneaky lil wicket taker" Coach John said.

Chaulk was also keen to say "You stupid ERUB and WRRW you sound like boyfriend and girlfriend fighting over who gets to use the last of the hot wax strips" Pointing out that he thought WRRW was probably the girl.

 

[Nate]

Nath, are you following me?

Id give a comment back, but your statement is too accurate to argue with.

Look, I only do it because I respect you.

And re: ARTHUR -



























Also, don't mention my legs again.

 

[Josh]

Forner Fined by Club
Phil McCracken

Morkambe young recruit Josh Forner has been fined after a press conference after one of his off-season games in California. He was reported to have made several distasteful jokes regarding the "Mathemagicians" name and his questionable mathematical ability when attending high school.

Forner was unavailable for comment earlier today, but his manager, Ben Dover, had this to say:
"Josh is a bit busy getting sunburnt on a beach today before attending a baseball game later this evening, but on his behalf I would like to apologise to the board and players of Morkambe, the CW Green team which he is also a strong ambassador for, the CW board and Californian cricket for his comments which he claims were 'taken out of context'. It has been stated by my client that the comments were jockular and informal, and claims that he is still a team player, and would never do anything to willingly bring his club, players or fans into disrepute."

Forner has been said to impose himself on a 3-day media ban before returning to CW Land for the much anticipated T20 cup and Dev League season. The Mathemagicians have said his position with the team is not in doubt, but he will have heavy fines and warning sanctioned upon him during his time with them.

"We enjoy his patronage and the money he spends over the Morkambe bar, so there is no doubt that he will be a major part of the Morkambe side this year."

Phil McCracken's views are those of an independent journalist with little to no integrity, who is unable to find that funny o character.

 

[chooka_nick]

Kev Gough - Into beastiality

One of the great posts imo

 

[Goughy]

WRRW 'Meet the Squad Day' is a Massive Success

Fans queued for hours around the block to meet the 2008 West Robham Rabid Wolves. Fans lined up for autographs, bought merchandise and generally soaked up the atmoshpere of the great town and historic club. The most popular clothing item being the famous ‘Havoc’ Dunn hoodies and the most sold novelty item was the 'On Display' Rai inflatable penises.

The big surprise of the day was courtesy of an eagle eyed newspaper photographer. Whilst capturing an image he noticed, CW National team captain, CW Black legend and Morkambe Mathemagician, Neil Pickup in the crowd.

Pickup was queuing like a good citizen and was seen to purchase a Dave Richards cap, a “Who The **** Are East Robham?” tea towel and he waited patiently for the autograph of Nathan Hauritz.

Pickup (circled) enjoying a day away from Morkambe and appreciating quality products and sporting culture.

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Lots of grey in that bunch.

"West Rob(b)ham: A great place to die."

 

[vic_orthdox]

ERUB Recruit Confirms role in side
By Claude Makelele

Despite letting the team down when it comes to chiseled abs, Jack McNamara says he'll bring something else to the side come gameday.

"Yeah, I'm bringing the tunes. Patto asked me to yesterday, so yeah, that's what I'm doing."

We'll bring you more as news comes to hand.

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Jamaica squad announced

Tamar Lambert will lead Jamaica in the warmup series for the CW Twenty20 Cup.

Jamaica squad:
Tamar Lambert (c), Carlton Baugh Jr. (wk), Brendan Nash, Andre Russell, Andre McCarthy, Jermaine Lawson, Daren Powell, Brenton Parchment, Nikita Miller, Danza Hyatt, Shawn Findlay, Dave Bernard Jr., Odean Brown.

 

[roseboy64]

No Taylor or Marshall or Gayle?

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

No West Indies players. Powell is there because (I hope) he won't be a regular for West Indies soon. If there were internationals, Dwayne Bravo and Denesh Ramdin would be in for T&T.

 

[roseboy64]

Ahh ok. Wavell Hinds would have been an option instead of say Findlay.

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

If you were paying attention you'd have seen that Wavell Hinds is signed for the, say, Masters XI.

 

[Neil Pickup]

I strongly refute the accusations that I have been sighted in Robbham. For one, I couldn't stand the smell. For two, there is no way I'm going out in public wearing either a tie (which is what it looks like), or the more likely option, the innards of some poor murdered child tied around the neck.

 

[roseboy64]

If you were paying attention you'd have seen that Wavell Hinds is signed for the, say, Masters XI.

Noticed. Just forgot.

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Scotland to arrive tomorrow

Ryan Watson has been named as Scotland captain.

Scotland squad:
Ryan Watson (c), Colin Smith (wk), John Blain, Gavin Hamilton, Dougie Brown, Navdeep Poonia, Neil McCallum, Majid Haq, Fraser Watts, Craig Wright, Dewald Nel, Gregor Maiden, Ross Lyons.