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Thread: Your fairytale Ashes script...

  1. #1
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    Your fairytale Ashes script...

    Yes I'll admit, the concept of this thread is pretty lame. But suppose the upcoming double Ashes was a movie; what is your perfect script?

    For me, Australia win the first test at Trent Bridge by about 150 runs or 5 wickets. Australia's batting still looks somewhat fragile, but an improvement on previous series. Clarke and Hughes both score tons coupled with effective tail-wagging by Patto and Siddle, All Australian bowlers (Patto/Starc/Siddle/Lyon) take wickets, and everybody is Australia happy. Unfortunately, Clarke injures his back. and is out for the next test at Lord's. England dominate this test, winning by 9 wickets off the back of tons by Cook, Pieterson and Bell and a double 5-for from Anderson. England also win the 3rd test in similar dominant fashion. Clarke returns for the fourth test, with Australia needing to win to keep their Ashes hopes alive. Rogers scores 200 along with centuries from Warner (who has replaced Cowan) and Smith giving Australia a first innings score of 650, but England pull an England and bat out the draw to retain the Ashes. In the fifth and final dead rubber test, Australia win convincingly, with Root and Bairstow tonning up while England's top batsmen fail.

    Australia win at at the Gabba in dominant fashion. Watson scores a big 150 (after scoring one ton in the England Ashes), Starc takes most of the wickets. Trott also makes 150, but nobody else does much for England. Adelaide is an England win that I couldn't really be bothered explaining. Australia win in Perth, with a returning Mitch Johnson (you heard it first) taking a bag and also making a hundred, once again conning people into believing that he is good.

    The series heads to Melbourne 2-1. I am attending this match so I will go to the effort of describing it a bit better. England bat first on a road and score 600 off the back of double centuries from both Cook and KP, then bowl Australia out for around 300, with Watson getting injured and retiring hurt early in the innings. The Australian media are going crazy and saying everybody should be dropped. England bat again and score a quickfire 200, leaving Australia 500 to score from just over 5 sessions. England look certain to win and retain the Ashes. But out comes Smiffy at 5, and scores a big triple hundred in the fourth innings with partnerships with Warner and Clarke. This will be hilarious because I love Smiffy but many of my friends dislike him and Warner immensely. Needing 120 from the final session, Watto bats and 7 and scores a 40-ball 75 to put Australia up 2-1 in the series.

    At Sydney, Australia bat first with the intention of compiling a ludicrously big score and guaranteeing against a loss. Clarke and Rogers put on a partnership of 500, with Clarke scoring 442 and Rogers scoring a double. Australia are all out for 850 halfway through day 3. England have to win to retain the Ashes, so they try to score quickly and lose. THE END.


    Best I could do #Australianism #SMiffeh #CLArkeh
    Last edited by AlanJLegend; 08-07-2013 at 03:55 AM.

  2. #2
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    A repeat of 1989 wouldn't be so bad. Don't want another fifteen years of what ensued though.

  3. #3
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Spikey's Avatar
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    new south wales win
    Indians can't bowl - Where has the rumour come from as I myself and many indian friends arwe competent fast bowlers ?

    With the English bid I said: Let us be brief. If you give back the Falkland Islands, which belong to us, you will get my vote. They then became sad and left

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    Virat Kohli (c) Jono's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlanJLegend View Post
    Yes I'll admit, the concept of this thread is pretty lame. But suppose the upcoming double Ashes was a movie; what is your perfect script?

    For me, Australia win the first test at Trent Bridge by about 150 runs or 5 wickets. Australia's batting still looks somewhat fragile, but an improvement on previous series. Clarke and Hughes both score tons coupled with effective tail-wagging by Patto and Siddle, All Australian bowlers (Patto/Starc/Siddle/Lyon) take wickets, and everybody is Australia happy. Unfortunately, Clarke injures his back. and is out for the next test at Lord's. England dominate this test, winning by 9 wickets off the back of tons by Cook, Pieterson and Bell and a double 5-for from Anderson. England also win the 3rd test in similar dominant fashion. Clarke returns for the fourth test, with Australia needing to win to keep their Ashes hopes alive. Rogers scores 200 along with centuries from Warner (who has replaced Cowan) and Smith giving Australia a first innings score of 650, but England pull an England and bat out the draw to retain the Ashes. In the fifth and final dead rubber test, Australia win convincingly, with Root and Bairstow tonning up while England's top batsmen fail.

    Australia win at at the Gabba in dominant fashion. Watson scores a big 150 (after scoring one ton in the England Ashes), Starc takes most of the wickets. Trott also makes 150, but nobody else does much for England. Adelaide is an England win that I couldn't really be bothered explaining. Australia win in Perth, with a returning Mitch Johnson (you heard it first) taking a bag and also making a hundred, once again conning people into believing that he is good.

    The series heads to Melbourne 1-1. I am attending this match so I will go to the effort of describing it a bit better. England bat first on a road and score 600 off the back of double centuries from both Cook and KP, then bowl Australia out for around 300, with Watson getting injured and retiring hurt early in the innings. The Australian media are going crazy and saying everybody should be dropped. England bat again and score a quickfire 200, leaving Australia 500 to score from just over 5 sessions. England look certain to win and retain the Ashes. But out comes Smiffy at 5, and scores a big triple hundred in the fourth innings with partnerships with Warner and Clarke. This will be hilarious because I love Smiffy but many of my friends dislike him and Warner immensely. Needing 120 from the final session, Watto bats and 7 and scores a 40-ball 75 to put Australia up 2-1 in the series.

    At Sydney, Australia bat first with the intention of compiling a ludicrously big score and guaranteeing against a loss. Clarke and Rogers put on a partnership of 500, with Clarke scoring 442 and Rogers scoring a double. Australia are all out for 850 halfway through day 3. England have to win to retain the Ashes, so they try to score quickly and lose. THE END.


    Best I could do #Australianism #SMiffeh #CLArkeh
    Warner replaces Cowan? What kind of feel good film is this?

    You won't be getting my money. At best I may download this movie off Pirate bay.


  5. #5
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Spikey's Avatar
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    warner will be played by Brad Pitt in this film

  6. #6
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Spikey's Avatar
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    (Fred Savage is obviously Eddie)

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    Cricket Web Staff Member Burgey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey View Post
    new south wales win
    It's a fairy tale mate, not Ripleys Believe It Or Not.

  8. #8
    Hall of Fame Member NUFAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey View Post
    I dunno know how but I've just done another Hilfenhaus on Siddle. Siddle forever Spikey never
    Would be the perfect script.
    NRL Tipping Champion 2014

  9. #9
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Spikey's Avatar
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    given it's unlikely bird and harris can both play i probably would pick siddle btw. but i just dont agree that siddle is an automatic selection who should have no pressure applied

    btw fred savage and mitchell starc share the same middle name so maybe fred should play mitch.

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    Hall of Fame Member NUFAN's Avatar
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    Run Fatboy Run 2 (2013)

    Seven years after his last International experience out-of-shape Mark Cosgrove decides to play the Last Ashes Test with the series level in an effort to win her back. (100 mins.)

    Stars: Danny DeVito


    Bull**** from Durham 2 (2013)

    A fan named Scaly loses the plot with potentially disastrous consequences when Ravi Bopara plays a leading role in the Ashes.

    Stars: King Khan, DJ Qualls.
    Furball, honestbharani and hendrix like this.

  11. #11
    International Coach morgieb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlanJLegend View Post
    Yes I'll admit, the concept of this thread is pretty lame. But suppose the upcoming double Ashes was a movie; what is your perfect script?

    For me, Australia win the first test at Trent Bridge by about 150 runs or 5 wickets. Australia's batting still looks somewhat fragile, but an improvement on previous series. Clarke and Hughes both score tons coupled with effective tail-wagging by Patto and Siddle, All Australian bowlers (Patto/Starc/Siddle/Lyon) take wickets, and everybody is Australia happy. Unfortunately, Clarke injures his back. and is out for the next test at Lord's. England dominate this test, winning by 9 wickets off the back of tons by Cook, Pieterson and Bell and a double 5-for from Anderson. England also win the 3rd test in similar dominant fashion. Clarke returns for the fourth test, with Australia needing to win to keep their Ashes hopes alive. Rogers scores 200 along with centuries from Warner (who has replaced Cowan) and Smith giving Australia a first innings score of 650, but England pull an England and bat out the draw to retain the Ashes. In the fifth and final dead rubber test, Australia win convincingly, with Root and Bairstow tonning up while England's top batsmen fail.

    Australia win at at the Gabba in dominant fashion. Watson scores a big 150 (after scoring one ton in the England Ashes), Starc takes most of the wickets. Trott also makes 150, but nobody else does much for England. Adelaide is an England win that I couldn't really be bothered explaining. Australia win in Perth, with a returning Mitch Johnson (you heard it first) taking a bag and also making a hundred, once again conning people into believing that he is good.

    The series heads to Melbourne 1-1. I am attending this match so I will go to the effort of describing it a bit better. England bat first on a road and score 600 off the back of double centuries from both Cook and KP, then bowl Australia out for around 300, with Watson getting injured and retiring hurt early in the innings. The Australian media are going crazy and saying everybody should be dropped. England bat again and score a quickfire 200, leaving Australia 500 to score from just over 5 sessions. England look certain to win and retain the Ashes. But out comes Smiffy at 5, and scores a big triple hundred in the fourth innings with partnerships with Warner and Clarke. This will be hilarious because I love Smiffy but many of my friends dislike him and Warner immensely. Needing 120 from the final session, Watto bats and 7 and scores a 40-ball 75 to put Australia up 2-1 in the series.

    At Sydney, Australia bat first with the intention of compiling a ludicrously big score and guaranteeing against a loss. Clarke and Rogers put on a partnership of 500, with Clarke scoring 442 and Rogers scoring a double. Australia are all out for 850 halfway through day 3. England have to win to retain the Ashes, so they try to score quickly and lose. THE END.


    Best I could do #Australianism #SMiffeh #CLArkeh
    Wouldn't wins in Brisbane and Perth make it 2-1 Australia before Melbourne?
    5-0

    RIP Craig Walsh (Craig) 1985-2012
    RIP Hughesy

    Proudly supporting the #2 cricketer of all time.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by morgieb View Post
    Wouldn't wins in Brisbane and Perth make it 2-1 Australia before Melbourne?

    Yes. I knew I would have a made a mistake somewhere in there, thanks.

  13. #13
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    England lose the first two tests, in a move of total desperation they call for Ravi. What follows is what can only be described as Ravi's ashes, as he repeats and betters all Botham's exploits in 81.

    Scaly spontaneously combusts.
    Cabinet96 and Viscount Tom like this.

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    Cricket Web Staff Member Burgey's Avatar
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    Last paragraph would almost make the preceding nightmare worth it

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    Eternal Optimist / Cricket Web Staff Member GIMH's Avatar
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    Burgey out for ten bells

    Ian Bell googles his name and finds horrfic abuse aimed at himself over many years. Raging, he takes it out on the Aussie bowlers, hitting 3k runs across the ten Tests. But he's not done! What follows is a relentless pursuit of a middle aged oaf, finally resulting in them getting in the ring, where Bell dishes out the ultimate revenge.

    Sorry did I say middle aged? I meant from the middle ages
    Adders, uvelocity and Cabinet96 like this.

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