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What are the most humorous uses of any cricket jargon terms so far?

KL70

Cricket Spectator
What are your picks of the most (humorous only) uses so far, of any cricket jargon terms made by anyone (be it by a player, who ever was commentating a cricket match you saw, or someone who was writing about a match you saw) ?
 

archie mac

International Coach
KL70 said:
What are your picks of the most (humorous only) uses so far, of any cricket jargon terms made by anyone (be it by a player, who ever was commentating a cricket match you saw, or someone who was writing about a match you saw) ?
The bowlers Holding, the batsmans Willey

Brian Johnston

Cunis who's bowling is like his name neither one thing nor the other

John Arlott
 

open365

International Vice-Captain
"I don't see myself as being bigger than anybody simply because I'm the captain."
Inzamam-ul-Haq shows his sense of irony

"I'm completely different from Pietersen. He would turn up to the opening of an envelope."
Andrew Flintoff doesn't hold back in ribbing KP

"It turned out we were all sacked three times in a month. Can that have happened anywhere before?"
Stuart Carlisle tries to explain the unique situation in their country

"He turns round to Kaluwitharana and asks him what I'm bowling. Kalu says offspin. Border hits the next one, but he's not confident. He asks Dean Jones, the non-striker, what I'm doing, and he says legbreaks."
Muttiah Muralitharan recalls Allan Border's reaction on facing him for the first time, in 1992

"I'll walk you to the changing room. What are you averaging? You must know your average? 9? 10? Maybe 9.5, so we'll give you 10."
Mark Boucher tries his form of mental disintegration against Tatenda Taibu, as Zimbabwe disintegrate at Centurion Park

"Even my mother can lead this Australian side."
Chris Cairns's response when asked to compare the sides led by Ricky Ponting and Steve Waugh

"Chris Cairns's mother is probably a very good cricketer."
Brett Lee comments on Chris Cairns's statement about how even his mother could lead this great Australian side
 

Isolator

State 12th Man
Cunis who's bowling is like his name neither one thing nor the other
Can someone explain this one to me? Maybe I can't get it because I don't know how "Cunis" is supposed to be pronounced...
 

archie mac

International Coach
Isolator said:
Can someone explain this one to me? Maybe I can't get it because I don't know how "Cunis" is supposed to be pronounced...
I could, but I won't as I am sure to receive at least a 7 day band, sorry :D
 

Burpey

Cricketer Of The Year
archie mac said:
The bowlers Holding, the batsmans Willey

Brian Johnston

Cunis who's bowling is like his name neither one thing nor the other

John Arlott
Reminds me of:

DK Lillee c P Willey b GR Dilley
 

Isolator

State 12th Man
archie mac said:
I could, but I won't as I am sure to receive at least a 7 day band, sorry :D
Aah, okay, I think I get it now. I kinda suspected it. Something to do with what Gavaskar refers to as the "unmentionables", yes?
 

Prince EWS

Global Moderator
Isolator said:
Can someone explain this one to me? Maybe I can't get it because I don't know how "Cunis" is supposed to be pronounced...
The first three letters of his name (Cun) are an incomplete version of one word, while the last three (nis) are the ending to another...
 

chalky

International Debutant
I saw a few in tabloids this summer involving Warne, googlies & sticky wickets. But we are all above that toilet humor here 8-)
 

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