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Me, Myself & Ronchi


International Captain
Me, Myself & Ronchi - I
From: The Marriott, Perth
November 12, 2004 - 11.25 pm

It's been a couple of days since I landed in Perth. However, I couldn't sit down with my pen and paper (read keyboard and monitor, plus CPU or whatever you computer geeks call it) as I was tangled up in lots of press conferences, talk show interviews, parties etc. Boy, do these Waussies love their celebrities!

During the time I did get to get acquainted with the surrondings at the WACA as well as the Warriors I'll be playing alongside, I met up with this interesting bloke Luke Ronchi. Apparently, Waussies think of him as the next Adam Gilchrist, and the couple of net sessions that I did manage to attend, thanks to the security, were enough to make me agree with them.

Ronchi however aspires to play for Mumbai, for he thinks it is the stepping stone to his ultimate goal - replacing Parthiv Patel in the Indian squad. He's got competition now though, in the form of Dinesh Kaarthick. But it shouldn't be worrying, Ronchi could beat him any day.

A major part of yesterday was spent answering questions regarding a certain Dave Watt, who was called in as a replacement for the injured Brad Williams and Michael Clark, especially since we both come from the same part of the world, CWLand, and have spent lots of time hanging out at the CW Bar along with Aldex Feeney and Sangers Bhatia; note the irony - all four of us play for different teams in the development league.

Anyway, back to the controversial Reds whiner, Master Watt. From what I've heard, he was kicked out of Princes Town Pirates of the T&T league after being found drunk on the beach next to Brian Lara after a big night out on the turps together, instead of discussing batting, which is an important PTP pre-requisite for mediocre players like them.

Lara escaped the wrath of the board, but Watt wasn't spared; he was immediately got rid of. Out of job, and thus money for a much needed haircut, Watt called up Mr. Lillee, our President and hysterically begged for a place in the Warriors squad for the season. A good word from yours truly was enough to get Watt on board.

I did run into Watt this morning. He pretended as if he didn't recognize me; alcohol can have that effect. But I hope he's learned from his mistakes, the kid's got a future, carrying drinks for me and Ronchi.

I spent the morning bowling to Ronchi in the nets; he's Sachin Tendulkar Jr. with the bat and Adam Gilchrist Sr. with the gloves, if you believe me. In fact he's so good, he made me look like throwing pies. I'm scared to think what he'd make Watt look like!


Eyes not spreadsheets
Sudeep said:
It's been a couple of days since I landed in Perth. However, I couldn't sit down with my pen and paper (read keyboard and monitor, plus CPU or whatever you computer geeks call it) as I was tangled up in lots of press conferences, talk show interviews, parties etc. Boy, do these Waussies love their celebrities!
Sudeep, the man who would turn up at the opening of an envelope.


International Regular
Sudeep said:
Me, Myself & Ronchi - I
From: The Marriott, Perth
November 12, 2004 - 11.25 pm

It's been a couple of days since I landed in Perth. However, I couldn't sit down with my pen and paper (read keyboard and monitor, plus CPU or whatever you computer geeks call it) as I was tangled up in lots of press conferences, talk show interviews, parties etc. Boy, do these Waussies love their celebrities!
Yes, they do. You must find it tough being the media manager...


International Captain
Me, Myself & Ronchi - II
From: The Hyatt, Sydney
November 13, 2004 - 11.59 pm

It was disappointing to miss out the first match, but I've no regrets, the team management was absolutely spot on in picking just the one spinner on a track which provided little assistance to anything other than pace. We did fairly well, Gilly and Hussey notching up fantastic tons, and Wates performing well with the ball. Master Watt didn't do too well, which will probably open his brains up a bit, so as to concentrate more on his bowling, rather than brag about his dismal batting skills.

Before I forget, congratulations to Sangers, for gaining the MotM award for his first match for Bushwackers. Rangers. Whatever. Win 'em while you can Sangers, for you won't get a chance when you face us. For those who can't figure it out, either I or Ronchi would be the obvious contenders.

We play out next match at Sydney tomorrow. I've heard the wicket at SCG is typical, undoubtedly the best spinning wicket in the country. Hopefully that means I'm almost sure of getting a game, my first here. I'm itching to get on the field. And so is Ronchi.

By the way, Watt's diary fabricated a few facts about yours truly, obviously in order to denounce my prestige. According to Watt, I left off my 12th man duties, and went away to play club cricket in Perth during the first match at the WACA. To clear things us, yes I did play a club match, but that was the day before the Tassie match. Watt, obviously suffering from jet lag after having rushed here from T&T, messed up his time zones.

Most of today was spent traveling, first by flight from Perth to Sydney, and then later to Woolgoolga and back. Soda Pop Airlines weren't brilliant service providers, very professional. I spent most of my flight time reading a PG Wodehouse book called - Aunts Aren't Gentlemen. This guy Wodehouse is a genius; he's the king of literature. I had to spend more time on the dictionary than on the book itself. In fact I came across this word - poltroon - which I couldn't locate. I noted to call up Pickup in Britain with the query.

Watt on the other hand, spent his time flirting with the air hostess. After finally annoying her to the limits, she made a complaint to pilot, who in turn was going to announce an emergency landing right in the middle of no where to throw Watt out. It needed a few charming words from the ME to the hostess to convince her to convince the pilot to not do the logical.

As if the troubles Watt had caused weren't enough, as soon as landing in Sydney I find out he's been put up with me. Bummer. That, believe me, sucks big time. I get rather annoyed by his slang language, which puts me in such a position that a little more of it would cause me to kick his brains out. I therefore have to start talking in Hindi to annoy him, and thus keep him shut.

Later in the afternoon, I rented a car and drove down to Woolgoolga to meet with Aldex. I wonder why a town would be named after an internet search engine, and that too wrapped in wool. Doesn't make sense, does it? Anyway, Watt refused to join us (myself and Ronchi), giving tiredness as an excuse, while really he wanted to watch a live Britney Spears concert. I decided against pulling his leg on that one, c'mon we need to give him a break after all he's been through.

We had dinner at Aldex's place, during which he also let us know why he isn't playing club cricket in the off season. Apparently, he has to complete a Physics project under a certain Prof. Camps, not completing which would result in termination of his CWBCC contract. I can't put two and two together to make four there. Wait, what's the name of the professor again?

Just one more bit of information, and I'll sign off for today. I received a call from Mr. Lillee while on way to Goolwoolwa, or however it's spelled, offering me the job of the team Media Manager, in the wake of the excellent performances yours truly put up in Perth prior to the first match. I graciously accepted. And by the way, I couldn't contact Neil, for he has switched off his cell since losing to Yorks. I'm sure Watt is a poltroon though.


International Captain
Thanks Popatji for all your compliments!

I'm really enjoying this diary of yours, very creative and very funny mate. Looking forward to reading it when the Vics play WA.

Hope you get a game next match :p

Cheers mate,



International Debutant
Best. Diary. Ever!

Will be checking this thread regularly, looking forward to many more entries to come.

Keep up the good work mate. Aldex


International Vice-Captain
that my friend is a good diary, and believe me mate, I'm talking to Dave and he hates u talking Hindi. I'm getting really into these diary things please keep them coming.

PS Dave's diary is just as great


International Captain
Me, Myself & Ronchi - III
From: Dr. Edgar's Hospital, Perth
November 14, 2004 - 9.46 pm

Unfortunately, this wouldn't be as substantial an entry as I'd have wanted, as I find myself at Dr. Edgar's Hospital here in Perth. Don't worry though; I'm not sick or injured. No, well, do worry. Because it's Ronchi. We'll get to the details later in the entry though, after we get the cricket part of description out of the way.

Yours truly played his first match for the Warriors, which by the way we won by six wickets. It's amazing how the entry of a vibrant character does to a team - they can start winning games, from drawing. I did well with the bat - 68, which should shut Watt's mouth up, for he seemed to be obsessed with wanting to be the better batsman up until the match started. Though I'd liked to bowl more than what I did (25 overs in the two innings, picking up just the one wickets), I'm happy with whatever I got. I was able to get my dream first wicket for the Warriors, SCG MacGill c L Ronchi b SC Popat 3 (20).

We did extremely well with both bat and ball as a team, Marshy and Fuelman notching up big scores as well. Ronchi was looking superb with the bat in the first innings, before an unlucky decision resulted in his departure for only 7, which definitely could have been 107 if it wasn't for the ump. However, as happy as I was with the result, it was a bit of a shock to see Watt win the MotM award. Now he did bowl well, he's improved a tad since the last match, but let's not put him over the moon.

Anyway, the biggest tragedy (yes there's one bigger than seeing Watt with the trophy) was that immediately after the presentation, a visibly drunk Watt accidentally (but if you ask me, purposely) was instrumental in the condition Ronchi is in right now. While we were celebrating on the balcony, Watt turned around to Ronchi, who was on the edge of the railing, and Watt's mullet lashed at Ronchi's face, who obviously trying to escape hell, lost his balance and fell of the balcony on his leg.

We caught the early flight home, and rushed Ronchi to our physio Dr. Edgar's hospital (yes, looking after us isn't his only job, and no the wacko doesn't accompany us anywhere outside of Perth, he gets homesick very quickly). Ronchi's suffering from a severe concussion, and what could be a handful of fractures. Dr. Edgar is hopeful though, he thinks it's only a tennis hamstring. More scans will be done tomorrow before deciding what would be the next step. I pray it's exactly what Dr. Edgar is suspecting, and no more.

The entire team came over to the hospital to meet Ronchi, except Watt, who I believe is wandering around Perth looking for the airhostess who blew him off. I let Watt know during a drinks break during the match and that she was from Perth too. What I didn't tell him was that she's absolutely crazy about ME.

Us v NSW - Sydney
NSW - 125 ao (Hoggy 3/19, The ME 1/11)
Us - 430 ao (Marshy 100, Fuelman 97, Ronchi 7, The ME 68, Watt 17)
NSW - 368 ao (Jacques 143, Watt 4/84, The ME 0/45)
Us - 4/64 (Ronchi 5*, The ME DNB)
Last edited:


International Captain
Me, Myself & Ronchi - IV
From: The Hyatt, Perth
November 16, 2004 - 1 am

Since Watt has already covered the match in detail in his diary, I'd not dwell into the exact happenings of the first OD match we played for WA this season, today. I'm very displeased with my performance, a very slow 25 and a very expensive 4 overs. Watt himself did okay, picking up three wickets, proving that he's just not as rubbish as I thought him to be. Don't be mistaken, he's no Glenn McGrath; he's just mediocre instead of rubbish.

By the way, to avoid any misunderstanding, if you find this entry to be not of the high standards that I've tried to keep up with in the past entries, you don't have to complain - it's past midnight. And I'm an early riser, unlike some people, who drain themselves in alcohol, get picked up by the constabulary, and return only five minutes prior to the match (That's you, Watt).

Also, I heard Watt made a big deal out of my calling Scott Meulman - Fuelman. Apparently, he seems to have spent more time in the bar, than the dressing rooms, because that's the nick we've given to Scotty. And he self-appoints himself to the post of the captain? What, is this AAAS or something?

On to more important matters, I've an update on Ronchi. As soon as he completed the match, we drove to the Royal Perth Hospital (yes, Ronchi was shifted there overnight, after the equipments Dr. Edgar's hospital proved incompetent enough to get a few scans done) to check on him. Anyway, Ronchi's suffering from what Dr. Edgar suspected he did, a tennis hamstring.

Though I like to keep myself updated with the latest in physiotherapy, I can't say that I'm not dumbfounded on what exactly a tennis hamstring is. However, Dr. Edgar says that it's only a minor injury, which will take maximum of 10 days to heal. But knowing Ronchi, I'm sure he'll be back in less than a week.

WA v Tassie - WACA
WA 6/213 (Vogues 54, Hussey 41, The ME 25, Watt DNB, Ronchi DNP)
Tassie 7/215 (Bevan 97*, Watt 3/45, The ME 0/28)


International Captain
Me, Myself & Ronchi - V
From: The Taj Mahal, Melbourne
November 17, 2004 - 11.50 pm

Apologies for missing an entry yesterday, we were caught up in the celebrations that followed our impressive win against Queensland at the Gabba. I was brought to notice that Dave (yes, after eating my words that he's rubbish, we're apparently on first name calling terms) updated his diary earlier today. I could've done that as well, but instead I concentrated on going to the training only minutes after arriving at the Taj Mahal, unlike Dave. Sorry mate, had to get a cheap shot in to start with... It wouldn't be my diary without picking on you.

Yesterday's game was awesome, we comprehensively beat the Bulls. My performance though, however, didn't do justice to the expectations that come with playing at this level, but well, I'm adjusting to the conditions here, and picking up one wicket is better than picking none at all. I feel I'm batting well, you know, just the feel that the foot is falling at the right place, the ball is hitting right at the middle of the bat etc. But I do realize that I've a job as a spinner as well, and there are others who would gladly take my spot as a second spinner to Hoggy. I do feel that I need to be showed more faith in by our self-appointed captain Dave, which hopefully should come with time, when I make him eat his words.

As I said, we spent the night yesterday partying in Brisbane. We were originally supposed to fly over to Melbourne yesterday itself, but Dave suggested that we do that in the morning, and celebrate the win in the loser's town itself. While Dave, as usual, got drunk to the limits, and nearly ended up getting picked up by the Brisbane constabulary, the rest of us had an enjoyable time, putting cricket out of our minds, and concentrating only on having fun to the fullest.

We picked up an early morning flight, which was delayed because Dave had to literally be dragged out of his bed, and boarded on the flight unwashed. If you thought that hair looked messy while he's on the field, you've got to see it in the morning when he's just got up. Anyway, I think Dave said something about me reading another PG Wodehouse book. To clarify, as much as I wanted to read another one of the genius' books, I had picked up "Catch-22" instead, a classic by Joseph Heller. With the reading experience that Dave has, I'm sure he wouldn't be able to distinguish between authors. By the way, the book is top class. I'd been recommended it by CW legend Eddie, when I met up with him before leaving CWland for WA.

As soon as we arrived in Melbourne, we got the great news that Ronchi will be coming over the city too for the next match, along with Voges. Ronchi's injury has healed perfectly, or well as near to perfect as is possible, and he's almost a surety to play the next match - against the Bushwackers. It seems as if tennis hamstrings are not as bad as tennis elbows.

Later in the day, I also met up with my mate Sangers, who was in a rather bad mood, as a result of I. Chukaspinm calling him, along with Glenn McGrath and Brett Lee, a chucker. God knows what Chukaspinm is upto, calling one of most organized bowler with the best bowling action, that. However, it needed only some WWE talk, especially Randy Orton's prospects of winning the WWE Title, to cheer him up. That, and a ticket to a live John Mayer concert in Melbourne itself did it.

I bought four tickets for the concert, for myself, Ronchi, Sangers and Aldex, who we rung up to leave for Melbourne as soon as possible. However, he was still stuck with doing his Physics project, being his usual lazy self, so that he couldn't join us. We offered Dave the extra ticket, and he gladly tagged along. While we had a blast at the concert, Dave seemed really bored. And why wouldn't he be? He thinks Britney Spears gives the best music in the whole world. Plus, alcohol wasn't allowed either.


International Captain
Very fun and interesting read. Glad to see your enjoying Australia and Australian Cricket and what it has to offer.

No doubt (as you know already) Mayer is a musical genius, but Britney Spears gives the best music in the world?

:huh: :wacko: (I know, I know, you were being sarcastic)



International Captain
Me, Myself & Ronchi - VI
From: The Taj Mahal, Melbourne
November 18, 2004 - 11.24 pm

Another match, another win. It's becoming a sort of a habit. And as much as I might dislike it, I'd have to give credit to Dave for his leadership skills/abilities. And he's not that bad a bowler either. However, I'll have to stop mentioning him in the first paragraph of each of my entries, or he'll start thinking he's the king of the world, which he obviously isn't.

Since I've been led to believe that Dave hasn't updated his diary following today's match, with a mediocre look at the on field happenings, which is the best that can be expected of his limited writing skills, I've volunteered to provide an in-depth report. Infact, Dave hasn't showed up at the hotel yet, he's probably at some bar drinking and brooding over how he'd approach the flight attendant he's so fallen for, after returning back home, yet refrains from accepting so. Maybe he's scared that he'd be rejected again, since the female in question obviously has her sights set on the ME.

Let's not further scratch over brains over Dave's follies, and dwell straight into a look back at today's match. We woke up today with bad news, yesterday's practice session did some damage to Ronchi's injured hamstring, which meant he couldn't pass a fitness test which was scheduled for him ahead of the start of play today. He, however, should be fit by the time for the next match - which is always good news.

Dave won the toss for us, and elected to bowl first, which looked a bit of a perplexing decision because of the nature of the pitch that would allow assistance to spin later on in the day, confusing because we were going in with two spinners in Hoggy and I. Dave put those doubts out of our minds, picking up Elliott off the very first ball, reminding that there's early morning moisture as well, and not just the cracks for the spinners to work on later on, to help his pace/swing bowling. Purely selfish, but as long as it's helping the team, no complaints.

Our pacemen did a fantastic job, reducing the hosts to 5/29 (gotta learn the Australian way), before some lower order partnerships were put on by the Bushwackers to take them to a defendable score. I'm extremely pleased as well, with the way I bowled, more so because after annoying Dave to the fullest with granting me my full 10 over quota, he did just that. Hoggy was awesome too, bowling in tandem with him was fantastic. We were a bit disappointed to not dismantle the entire innings soon enough, but we bogged them down, which lower order batsmen usually don't like, and thus resulted in their ultimate downfall.

Some late hitting by the Freak (I. Harvey) and Sangers did hurt us, for we allowed them to reach to a score of 195, much more than what it should have been, but it was still a ver gettable target, especially with the awesome batting line-up that we sport. Our chase didn't get off to the best of starts either, losing out first three wickets with 30 odd runs on the board. However, a very good partnership between Marshy and Murray got us back on track. We were 4/121 when I made my way to the middle, still a fair bit away from the target, and in a situation where even the tinniest of mistakes could result into the pressure being applied on us. We did lose Goodwin immediately, which put a lot of pressure on myself and Hoggy, the next man in.

It's a bit disappointing to bat this lower down the order, though I've usually batted at #6 for CW Blue, #4 or 5 is where I've had the most success with the bat. Yours truly ended up making 35, painfully slow off 60 odd balls, but managed to get the job done, anchoring the innings, especially since we lost Goodwin when he looked in such fine touch. I did get out before we won though, caught by White off Sangers, giving the latter his only wicket for the match. He did have to bowl his heart out to buy my wicket, and to be honest it was a lapse of concentration that resulted in the wicket, which otherwise would never have come.

Anyway, we did reach the target with four wickets in hand, completing another win, the third consecutive thus far. Murray won the MotM for his brilliant half century.

Since, I've already used up most of my energy in the match details, I'd sign off for now, especially with the need to wake up early tomorrow to catch a 6.30 am flight back home. As of this writing, Dave hasn't yet returned back to the hotel, I hope I won't have to get him out of the Melbourne lock-up as well.

Bushwackers 195 (The Freak 59, Sangers 23, Dave 3/47, Harvey 3/34, The ME, 1/31)
Warriors 6/196 (Goodwin 58, The ME 35, Ronchi DNP, Dave DNB)


International Captain
** switch on real life mode **

Unfortunately, as a result of the fast approaching exams and parental pressure to minimize the use of the internet to apply maximum concentration on the former, I'll have to neglect this diary. I'm not completely abandoning it mind you, just decreasing the level of my contribution toward it. In short, it means expecting more than 2-3 entries a week would be a little harsh and unjust on me. I know it's sad, you guys would be crushed, but as much as I hate it, exams come first.

** switch off real life mode **



International Captain
I'm taking a break from the self-imposed exile to Heat Transfer, to congratulate Ronchi on his MotM performance last match we played. While this diary entry will be my shortest, it is by no means the least relevant; c'mon - Ronchi scored a hundred. And to lay the icing on the cake, he picked up two stumpings off his favourite bowler. No points for guessing who, since it's pretty obvious.

Recently, Dave has been scoring more runs that me, which seems to have gotten to his head. Not that I don't want to congratulate him on that irrelevant achievement, but I think it's pretty dumb of him to go all crazy over it, since yours truly hasn't got a fair chance to spend a LOT of time in the middle. For a tailender to score runs at # 9, 10 or 11 is easy, he just has to go berserk at anything coming his way. But for an accomplished batsman like me, it's extremely difficult.

Outside of cricket, it's been pretty much the same. Dave's had a trip to the lock-up on more occasions, only to be rescued to me, since no one else wants to get involved with his dirty business. Whereas, on the other hand, the flight attendant is still head over heels about me, but I've been ignoring her calls. The reason being the anguish Dave would have to go through if I accepted a date. We do need Dave to bowl effeciently, he's a decent bowler despite his shenanigans in everything non-cricket.


International Captain
It's been a long time since I opened these pages, shame on me! But yes, I got so involved in the cricket, that I had to neglect this little excursion, especially after having ousted Hoggy from the side, to take the place of the primary spinner.

I wouldn't be update here with all that has happened in the past month, however, the most important thing can't be neglected - We won both the Pura and ING Cups. Because we're that damn good! My bowling got better with time, but unfortunately that wasn't the case with my batting, as even Dave outscored me on occasions. I definitely will have to work on that aspect of my game.

This also means that it's time to leave. Although I'll have one more entry written before myself and Dave fly back home with all the memories. But that entry would be coming tomorrow, before we take a plane to Singapore, where we intend to spend the week with my airhostess and her friend. Tonight, it's just party time! Although, I hope I don't have to welcome the morning at the East Perth lock-up trying to get Dave out.