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Lies, Betrayal and Videotape

Neil Pickup

Cricket Web Moderator
CricketWeb Times
Jerome Brown

[Nixonstown] So, the most oft-disgraced character in the history of the national game has dared to raise his face again in the name of attention - he may have yet another name, but the endemic deceit ridden in his conduct leads everyone from the Twybridge U11 reserve team to the leadership of the Test XI to know his identity, and his blatant guilt.

For those unfamiliar with the Nichanigate saga that led to the second mass walkout in the history of the national side being threatened, the CricketWeb Times will retell. The midst of the team's inaugural World Cup campaign was thrown into disarray when newly called-up, uncapped batsman Nikhil Nichani declared his desire for the team to be defeated. Thanks to the selfless actions of young wicketkeeper Jamee Gray, this betrayal of all that International cricket stands for was exposed, and a display of team solidarity that evoked the spirit of the rebellion led to the removal of Nichani from the World Cup squad and his first "retirement".

Weeks later, Nichani displayed the fact that his previous statement of retirement was just as watertight as the US and UK governments' claims about WMD, or the Titanic post-Iceberg. His return was met with equal derision by members of the Players' Association, who overwhelmingly opposed his inclusion in any side. Following a parting shot of a despicable claim that everyone who thought he supported the CW XI had "no mind", Nichani then retired once more, claiming that he wouldn't return until he was forgiven.

Another lie. This week he crawled back into the sullied limelight, and with disciples Bennett and Jellett, is set to claim that betrayal, deceit, lies and double-crosses are an acceptable part of the nation's cricket community.

The fate of a country is at stake.
 

superkingdave

Hall of Fame Member
Its like the lord of the rings with Nikhil as Sauron, Bennett as Saruman and Jellett as ????. Marc can be Frodo, Neil can be Gimli
 

Magrat Garlick

Global Moderator
The CricketWeb Times said:
Thanks to the selfless actions of young wicketkeeper Jamee Gray
The Times check their facts thoroughly, I see - he became a wicketkeeper some three seasons after the incident ;)

Nevertheless, can't find any real misconceptions in that article. The evidence is well put forward.
 

marc71178

Eyes not spreadsheets
Just a thought but does his 2nd retirement thread still exist?

I seem to remember it was a particularly interesting piece of writing that cleared him of any blame and put it all upon me?

Like I was the one who wanted the XI to lose?
 

Mr Mxyzptlk

Request Your Custom Title Now!
Neil Pickup said:
Another lie. This week he crawled back into the sullied limelight, and with disciples Bennett and Jellett, is set to claim that betrayal, deceit, lies and double-crosses are an acceptable part of the nation's cricket community.

Please ease off Steds and Jellet and whoever else represents Nikhil. It's a job that they have undertaken, not a hobby.
 

Neil Pickup

Cricket Web Moderator
If they want to put themselves in the firing line, then there's no reason why they shouldn't prepared to face the artillery.
 

Neil Pickup

Cricket Web Moderator
marc71178 said:
Just a thought but does his 2nd retirement thread still exist?

I seem to remember it was a particularly interesting piece of writing that cleared him of any blame and put it all upon me?

Like I was the one who wanted the XI to lose?
This is the retirement thread... nothing accusing you of wanting the XI to lose, just blaming you for everything leading up to his pseudo-retirement, and a comment from Dylan which utterly destroys any credibility he had on the defence.

My favourite bits are the crocodile tears, lies and false promises.
 

Mr Mxyzptlk

Request Your Custom Title Now!
Although it does appear to be very telling, I can't believe that the above quoted was anything but a typo.
 

Slats4ever

International Vice-Captain
sung to the tune of ***y Eyes

Ooohh ooohhhh ahhh ahhh what a ****. This whole debacle has already stank....

It's not time to bring it back again.... cos nobody wants to play with him...

well i thought the first line was good anyway
 

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