Lillian Thomson
Hall of Fame Member
Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: (to Waitress) Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and Kallis; egg bacon and Kallis; egg bacon sausage and Kallis; Kallis bacon sausage and Kallis; Kallis egg Kallis Kallis bacon and Kallis; Kallis sausage Kallis Kallis bacon Kallis tomato and Kallis;
Vikings: (starting to chant) Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis...
Waitress: ...Kallis Kallis Kallis egg and Kallis; Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis baked beans Kallis Kallis Kallis...
Vikings: (singing) Kallis! Lovely Kallis! Lovely Kallis!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Kallis.
Wife: Have you got anything without Kallis?
Waitress: Well, there's Kallis egg sausage and Kallis, that's not got much Kallis in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY Kallis!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon Kallis and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got Kallis in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much Kallis in it as Kallis egg sausage and Kallis, has it?
Vikings: Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon Kallis and sausage without the Kallis then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like Kallis!
Vikings: Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kallis!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kallis!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon Kallis and sausage without the Kallis.
Wife: (shrieks) I don't like Kallis!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your Kallis. I love it. I'm having Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis beaked beans Kallis Kallis Kallis and Kallis!
Vikings: (singing) Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis. Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kallis!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her Kallis instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (singing elaborately) Kallis, Kallis, Kallis, Kallis. Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kaaaallllisss ! Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kallis. Kaaaallllisss! Kaaaallllisss! Kaaaallllisss! Kaaaallllisss! Lovely Kallis! (Lovely Kallis!) Lovely Kallis! (Lovely Kallis!) Lovely Kaaaallllisss! Kallis, Kallis, Kallis, Kaaaallllisss.
Wife: All right.
Man: (to Waitress) Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and Kallis; egg bacon and Kallis; egg bacon sausage and Kallis; Kallis bacon sausage and Kallis; Kallis egg Kallis Kallis bacon and Kallis; Kallis sausage Kallis Kallis bacon Kallis tomato and Kallis;
Vikings: (starting to chant) Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis...
Waitress: ...Kallis Kallis Kallis egg and Kallis; Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis baked beans Kallis Kallis Kallis...
Vikings: (singing) Kallis! Lovely Kallis! Lovely Kallis!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Kallis.
Wife: Have you got anything without Kallis?
Waitress: Well, there's Kallis egg sausage and Kallis, that's not got much Kallis in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY Kallis!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon Kallis and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got Kallis in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much Kallis in it as Kallis egg sausage and Kallis, has it?
Vikings: Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon Kallis and sausage without the Kallis then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like Kallis!
Vikings: Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kallis!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kallis!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon Kallis and sausage without the Kallis.
Wife: (shrieks) I don't like Kallis!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your Kallis. I love it. I'm having Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis beaked beans Kallis Kallis Kallis and Kallis!
Vikings: (singing) Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis. Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kallis!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her Kallis instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis Kallis... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (singing elaborately) Kallis, Kallis, Kallis, Kallis. Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kaaaallllisss ! Lovely Kallis! Wonderful Kallis. Kaaaallllisss! Kaaaallllisss! Kaaaallllisss! Kaaaallllisss! Lovely Kallis! (Lovely Kallis!) Lovely Kallis! (Lovely Kallis!) Lovely Kaaaallllisss! Kallis, Kallis, Kallis, Kaaaallllisss.