Brutal Cricinfo bios

[Gnske]

Herschelle Gibbs's profile is a mix to say the least. And gets off to the worst start imaginable.

https://www.espncricinfo.com/player/herschelle-gibbs-45224

Herschelle Gibbs, who once owned up, with perverse pride, to never having read a book, has essayed enough incendiary innings to fill a fat volume and, in the field, cut down many a batsman with all the electric grace of an enraged poet . . .

... He is also as poorly equipped for the trials of daily life as any human being can safely be. Dark tales of marijuana smoking, drunk driving and match-fixing have blotted his career ...

... As his 40s loom, he may even pick up a book or two

 

[Gnske]

What a dark place to be in. Weed.

 

[Bolo.]

Herschelle Gibbs's profile is a mix to say the least. And gets off to the worst start imaginable.

https://www.espncricinfo.com/player/herschelle-gibbs-45224

This might be the worst bio in this entire, glorious thread. At least with just about everyone else they are attacking people for being poor cricket players, or attacking them for being something like out of shape, which affects their performance.

And fair play Cricinfo. We dont need our cricket players to be rocket seismolgraphists*, or for any person ever to read a lot, but being proud enough of never having read a book to annouce it in public media is a little odd.

 

[Smudge]

"When he made his Test debut for the West Indies against New Zealand in Barbados in 1995-96, Patterson Thompson had a shocker. Making Devon Malcolm look like a metronome, he bowled 22 no-balls and returned match figures of 22-1-135-4 - which flattered him. He played just one more Test, in Australia the following winter, and that was that. His Test strike rate, 45.6, would do anyone proud but his economy rate, 5.65, would make even a joke bowler blush."

Didn't he make an utter pig of himself courtesy of the gold card the Windies team got from their sponsors, KFC?

 

[Gnske]

This might be the worst bio in this entire, glorious thread. At least with just about everyone else they are attacking people for being poor cricket players, or attacking them for being something like out of shape, which affects their performance.

And fair play Cricinfo. We dont need our cricket players to be rocket seismolgraphists*, or for any person ever to read a lot, but being proud enough of never having read a book to annouce it in public media is a little odd.

It's just a huge compliment sandwich of a bio. How to make a guy look like a complete savage idiot with Rainman abilities for playing cricket while at the same time suggesting he cannot function in the real world.

Mark Vermeulen's bio isn't even half as insulting yet it should be twice as insulting as that.

 

[cnerd123]

Klaas-Jan Jeroen Van Noortwijk

Klaas currently holds the record for the highest individual score by a Netherlands batsman in a one-day international, after his unbeaten 134 against Namibia in the 2003 World Cup. He came into the national squad in 1994 and made a name for himself in his country's maiden World Cup appearance two years later, when he scored 64 against England. His former captain Roland Lefebvre described him as "a very interesting character, whose deep thinking and extraordinary theories sometimes make people believe he lives on a different planet," but his performances for Holland were very much grounded in reality. Klaas currently works as an organisational trainer/coach.