**Official** England in New Zealand

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Oi, what about me???

You're in Wellington too though. I was assuming that whilst I was ramming copies of the Dominion down his throat, you'd be finding some other way to provide 'feedback' to Millmow.

 

[Tim]

Right...just a few points. As im fortunate to be at Radio Sport, i've been getting a lot closer to the action and talk these days.
I've been fortunate to do a few interviews recently with the likes of Mike Atherton, Dan Vettori, former coach Denis Aberhart etc and it's been interesting to gauge different views.

I've had to bite my tongue ocassionally when speaking to the English commentators as I think they've been doing a bit of dis-service to their team during the start of the tour..and it backfired on them badly in Wellington. Really, these former players should know better than to make such ridiculous comments about the NZ team when they know Twenty20 is a bit of a lottery.

There's good emerging talent coming through in this NZ side as well..you also have to take into account that NZ's now beaten England 7 times in their last 9 matches. Not bad for a team that's apparently considered genuinely inferior to England.

And on another note, I've interviewed Lou Vincent a couple of times recently, yep he's going through a lot...but he's enjoying his cricket and hopefully he can come out the other side of what's been a difficult time. He's not sure whether he'll play international cricket again and I think he's doing the right thing by taking it slowly.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

I've had to bite my tongue ocassionally when speaking to the English commentators as I think they've been doing a bit of dis-service to their team during the start of the tour..and it backfired on them badly in Wellington. Really, these former players should know better than to make such ridiculous comments about the NZ team when they know Twenty20 is a bit of a lottery.

I hardly think the English commentators have been the worst. Athers has been fairly balanced, and whilst you can guarantee a fair whack of jingoism from Botham, Willis and Hussain, it certainly doesn't match some of the vacant, sensationalist tripe put out by the Kiwi print media.

Certainly the most vitriolic and ridiculous comments I've heard about this current NZ cricket team have been penned by those at domestic newspapers who like to call mud flinging journalism.

The last time I agreed with anything Millmow said was when he hung up his boots.

 

[luckyeddie]

I hardly think the English commentators have been the worst. Athers has been fairly balanced, and whilst you can guarantee a fair whack of jingoism from Botham, Willis and Hussain, it certainly doesn't match some of the vacant, sensationalist tripe put out by the Kiwi print media.

Certainly the most vitriolic and ridiculous comments I've heard about this current NZ cricket team have been penned by those at domestic newspapers who like to call mud flinging journalism.

The last time I agreed with anything Millmow said was when he hung up his boots.

Oh, I think you'll find that the comments of the duck are far more vitriolic and ridiculous...

DD's blog

 

[Tim]

Yes, Millmow's article did get a fair going over in the Radio Sport office, I can tell you that!

 

[Perm]

Jonathon Millmow starting to rival Stephen Jones as the most hated sports journalist in the world?

 

[Tim]

Not yet. Millmow's on a national scale. Jones stems to a number of countries.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Not yet. Millmow's on a national scale. Jones stems to a number of countries.

Very true. I have a mate from Fishguard, Wales who cut out and pasted a Jones article on his wall at home so he'd remember to post it back to him with a rather rude letter if NZ failed to achieve all of his predictions. I'm not sure whether he got a reply though.

I doubt whether the guy from Fishguard even knows who Jonathan Millmow is.

 

[Dick Rockett]

You're in Wellington too though. I was assuming that whilst I was ramming copies of the Dominion down his throat, you'd be finding some other way to provide 'feedback' to Millmow.

Ah, true. Let me know when this is going on and I'll bring a satchel full of DomPosts that are stamped, postmarked, and addressed "Jonathan Millmow's arse".

Yes, Millmow's article did get a fair going over in the Radio Sport office, I can tell you that!

Do you know if he has any idea how poorly his work is received?

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Oh, I think you'll find that the comments of the duck are far more vitriolic and ridiculous...

DD's blog

Hmmm... I'm not convinced that Jesse Ryder is dense enough to "create{s} a momentary indentation in the space-time continuum"

The average constituent component of the Ryder tends to be beer. Whilst beer is generally of a slightly higher density than water, on average, the Ryder consumes a significant amount of Heineken. The make up of Heineken is 50% piss, 30% Carbon Dioxide (in free association with the water content of piss, making Carbonic Acid) and 20% Perrier. In fact, the density of Heineken is considerably less than water.

When an object the size of the Ryder is filled with Heineken (lets argue for the sake of simplicity that the Ryder is a sphere filled with pure Heineken) then the estimated volume of the Ryder is:

4/3 times Pi * radius cubed.

This is approximately 4.19 * the radius of the Ryder cubed.

Given that density = mass / volume and that the volume of the Ryder is 4.19r^3 then we can deduce:

mass = density * 4.19r^3

Assuming that the density of water is 999 kg/m^3 and that Heineken is 30% Carbon Dioxide. (Carbon Dioxide density = .00198 kg/m^3) then we can estimate the density of Heineken to be approximately 699 kg/m^3

Using this to solve the above equation (the Ryder Paradox), we can deduce that in order for Jesse Ryder to "create{s} a momentary indentation in the space-time continuum" then he'd have to be very, very big.

In fact, if we assumed that his mass was 100,000kg then at the estimated density, his radius would have to be

100000 = 699 * 4.19r^3

100000/699 = 4.19 * r^3

r = cube root (100000/699/4.19)

r = 3.24m

Hence, the diameter of the Ryder's belly would need to be 6.48m to be even 100,000kg.

Given that at this size, his average temperature would be significantly raised by his own internal body heat, thus further reducing the average Heineken density, in practise this diameter would be considerably greater.

I'm not sure on the exact mass required to "create{s} a momentary indentation in the space-time continuum", but I have a feeling it would be several factors larger than 100,000kg.

Hence, you are talking tripe.

 

[Flem274*]

One game Phlegm, FFS.

I know that, don't you patronise me. I was commetning that it proves the Milmows of this world very wrong and he shouldn't judge of a hit and giggle and its obvious that, whilst inconsistent, we can definitely still perform very well in ODIs.

 

[Dick Rockett]

Hmmm... I'm not convinced that Jesse Ryder is dense enough to "create{s} a momentary indentation in the space-time continuum"

The average constituent component of the Ryder tends to be beer. Whilst beer is generally of a slightly higher density than water, on average, the Ryder consumes a significant amount of Heineken. The make up of Heineken is 50% piss, 30% Carbon Dioxide (in free association with the water content of piss, making Carbonic Acid) and 20% Perrier. In fact, the density of Heineken is considerably less than water.

When an object the size of the Ryder is filled with Heineken (lets argue for the sake of simplicity that the Ryder is a sphere filled with pure Heineken) then the estimated volume of the Ryder is:

4/3 times Pi * radius cubed.

This is approximately 4.19 * the radius of the Ryder cubed.

Given that density = mass / volume and that the volume of the Ryder is 4.19r^3 then we can deduce:

mass = density * 4.19r^3

Assuming that the density of water is 999 kg/m^3 and that Heineken is 30% Carbon Dioxide. (Carbon Dioxide density = .00198 kg/m^3) then we can estimate the density of Heineken to be approximately 699 kg/m^3

Using this to solve the above equation (the Ryder Paradox), we can deduce that in order for Jesse Ryder to "create{s} a momentary indentation in the space-time continuum" then he'd have to be very, very big.

In fact, if we assumed that his mass was 100,000kg then at the estimated density, his radius would have to be

100000 = 699 * 4.19r^3

100000/699 = 4.19 * r^3

r = cube root (100000/699/4.19)

r = 3.24m

Hence, the diameter of the Ryder's belly would need to be 6.48m to be even 100,000kg.

Given that at this size, his average temperature would be significantly raised by his own internal body heat, thus further reducing the average Heineken density, in practise this diameter would be considerably greater.

I'm not sure on the exact mass required to "create{s} a momentary indentation in the space-time continuum", but I have a feeling it would be several factors larger than 100,000kg.

Hence, you are talking tripe.

oh dear. Sometimes I worry about our Heath.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

oh dear. Sometimes I worry about our Heath.

I'd only be worried if I was, say, a scientist at the New Zealand Institute of Geological and Nuclear Sciences with the cod-physics as evidenced above.

c.f. The Quiet Earth - A cautionary tale about one of my experiments gone wrong.

By the way, the NZ Institute of Geological and Nuclear Sciences is just round the corner from me in Lower Hutt. Take from that what you will.

 

[Jono]

Any requests for the next one?

Would "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey be pushing it?

 

[Perm]

Would "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey be pushing it?

Gun song though.

 

[Brett Dale]

I dont see any serinao that will see the blackcaps winning, southee was a big chance, but now hes gone to the under 19's, I don't see Martin/Mills/Oram/Vettori picking up 20 wickets to win a test.

 

[Flem274*]

I dont see any serinao that will see the blackcaps winning, southee was a big chance, but now hes gone to the under 19's, I don't see Martin/Mills/Oram/Vettori picking up 20 wickets to win a test.

Southee shouldn't play tests yet. Too much stress on a young body that is still growing. When he's mauled some more batting line ups at under-19 and FC level in a year or two, pick him.

No, I don't see four bowlers getting twenty wickets but add in Gillespie to pick up a few more (ad a fifer on debut, crap at List A and ODIs but FC record is very good) and we can.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

I dont see any serinao that will see the blackcaps winning...

Which province does Serinao play for? I presume he's of Maori extraction? Or is he more of a S'ua?

 

[Natman20]

Would "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey be pushing it?

Just a little bit

 

[Smudge]

Which province does Serinao play for? I presume he's of Maori extraction? Or is he more of a S'ua?

Distant Italian relation of Vettori. Pretty sure one of his ancestors of the same name was in a Shakespeare play.