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Thread: What I did on my summer holiday

  1. #16
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Pratters's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marc71178
    I'm sarcastic?!

  2. #17
    Cricketer Of The Year Blewy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marc71178
    And there's another one, not as good I'm afraid, but worth a read:

    F.I.F.A. - Disciplinary Council

    Appeal Case 3521 - Wayne Rooney (England) Red Card vs Portugal (01/07/06)


    Please state below your reason for appeal against the disciplinary action taken against you on the given date:


    My Apeel by Wane Roony (age 19).

    On Satdy Julie 1st I woz playin footy for Ingland aginst Porchergil in Gelson Gelshi, Jerminy in the Werld Cup Cworter-finals. It woz ded hot an norra lorra chancis had been made by harf time, tho Mr Erriksin sed we woz doin sound like an if we just kept doin wot we'd dun then weed win.

    Anyway, the sekind arf started an David Bekkim ad to cum off, so he started cryin cos he's a big soft suthin tart and he weres his mississ nikkers an evrythin. After about an hour had gon an it woz still nil-nil, I got the ball in midfield like and thees too derty Portchergize gets cum flyin inter me, but the reff never give a fowl (But he woz an Arjinteenian, so wot jer expect?).

    I struggild ter get loooose an in the kofushiun I muster akserdently stud on that Carvellios boli cobli testerkils but it woz an akserdint and that's the gods onnist trooth cros me hart an ope to dye. I didn't no ide dun it, I swer on me mam's life! An yer no wot all them
    forriniz is like, thee start winjin if yer luk at them funny. Anyway, I'v ad werse than that playin for Croccy Comp an I didn start cryin like Coleeen wen the shops is shut. Them Porchegeeze is CHEETERS an a bunch of quegs an all.

    Necst thing that Cristyano Ronnaldoe (not the fat Brizilyan feller) - hoose supposed to be me mate at Man Yernitid, is runnin to the reff an grassin' me up and evrythink. An, of korse, with the reff been an Arjee he just sends me off - burr I didn cry like that girl Bekkim, I walked off like wot a mans supposed to do and Jayme Carrigers sayin
    "don wurry Wane, lad we'll kik is bleedin leggs off for yer."

    Anyway, thats worr happened and that's not one word of lie there lad, onist, on me nans grave its troo. Downt believe wot the reff sez cos heez a cheetin Arjee and orl them Porchergeeze is lyars - and that Ronaldo's ded lad, I'm teelin yers that fer free. Are kids orlreddy gone down to is owse in wimslow and rote "GRASS" in ded big lettis on
    the worls and me owl girl sez if she sees that Ronalodes ma in the Yernitid Players Lownge she'll birst her.

    So if yer take the kard away I'll be ded grateful and me da will get yis a pint in next time youse is in the Cherry Tree on the Lanks.

    Luv

    Wane
    XXX
    Geez the English have stepped up their vocabulary since i visited there last...

    Thats good that one...

  3. #18
    Eyes not spreadsheets marc71178's Avatar
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    He's scouse, not English.
    marc71178 - President and founding member of AAAS - we don't only appreciate when he does well, but also when he's not quite so good!

    Anyone want to join the Society?

    Beware the evils of Kit-Kats - they're immoral apparently.

  4. #19
    Eternal Optimist / Cricket Web Staff Member GIMH's Avatar
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    **** off marc!
    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong View Post
    gimh has now surpassed richard as the greatest cw member ever imo

    RIP Craigos. A true CW legend. You will be missed.


  5. #20
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuhaib
    Is Sol Cambell from the other side??
    T*ttenham? Originally, yes.
    Cricket Web's 2013/14 Premier League Tipping Champion

    - As featured in The Independent.

    "I don't believe a word of Pietersen's book, but then I don't believe a word anyone else has said either."
    - Simon Barnes renders further comment on KP's autobiography superfluous in a sentence

  6. #21
    World Traveller Craig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeraintIsMyHero
    **** off marc!
    Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever...

    RIP Fardin Qayyumi, a true legend of CW

    Quote Originally Posted by Boobidy View Post
    Bradman never had to face quicks like Sharma and Irfan Pathan. He wouldn't of lasted a ball against those 2, not to mention a spinner like Sehwag.

  7. #22
    Cricketer Of The Year wpdavid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeraintIsMyHero
    **** off marc!
    Reminds me of a bloke I used to play footie with. Legend has it the ref told him to stop swearing, so he told the ref to f**k off.

  8. #23
    Eternal Optimist / Cricket Web Staff Member GIMH's Avatar
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    LOL I didn't realsie there was anything funny about it, just sticking up for my descendants

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