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Thread: umpire jokes

  1. #1
    Cricket Spectator
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    umpire jokes

    As the batsmen passed the man in the white coat, he said, "That was never LBW - you need glasses."
    And the man in the white coat replied, "so do you mate, I'm selling ice-cream."

    The captain of a team says to the Umpire, "My players want to know if there is a penalty for thinking." The Umpire says, "No." The captain says, "Well we think you're an asshole, then."

  2. #2
    School Boy/Girl Captain
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    man, where you pulling all these from? they're funny as!
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  3. #3
    State Vice-Captain yaju's Avatar
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    Keep them up :-).

    You know what a sardar umpire will do when India will hit a six? He will do Bhangra!
    Yaju
    Self Proclaimed World's Greatest 12th Man.

    I like wasting homo sapiens' time - like the way I wasted yours just now.

    Quote Originally Posted by 5N1p3R j0C|<
    Why are you wasting time your reading others' quotes?
    Quote Originally Posted by DD
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  4. #4
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    LOL ROFL so true Bhangra lol
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  5. #5
    International Debutant Kimbo's Avatar
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    What happens when a player loses his eyesight?
    He becomes an umpire.
    life's a gift thats why they call it the present

  6. #6
    Cricket Web XI Moderator lord_of_darkness's Avatar
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    this is what my coach /umpire said to one of my team mates in club cricket when he had the ball and was getting ready to bowl

    " Please dont rub it that hard , u might tear it "

    Once of the real fast bowlers was getting ready to bowl he wasnt looking at the ump and he starts running , with his face towards the ground ... The batsmen moves and the ump sticks his hand out and it hits the bowler plum on the neck it was funny cause the bowler went down with a massive thud and then the umpire doesnt go sorry he goes " Ahh Dead Ball "
    Don L-o-d , Legion Of Doom

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  7. #7
    State Vice-Captain yaju's Avatar
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    Poor bowler :undecided:.

  8. #8
    U19 Debutant
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    Funny, but it also makes u think
    Western Australia: Producing Fast Bowlers since 1901

  9. #9
    Cricket Web XI Moderator lord_of_darkness's Avatar
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    yea... it got him right plum on the neck went down so fast

  10. #10
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    the 1 thing is dat dat some empires don't know how to give out to the LBW decission
    n they even get scared of the spectators so if it is out they do not give out :P :P :P :P

    thank you
    @Baasha

  11. #11
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    I noe da feelin

  12. #12
    Cricket Web XI Moderator lord_of_darkness's Avatar
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    yup ive been the victim of those many sad decisions :-(

  13. #13
    U19 Debutant
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    I heard a story of a player giving an umpire some glasses...

  14. #14
    U19 Cricketer
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    There's this joke about how to get an LBW decision from Shakoor Rana, the Indian umpire. This is what you need to say to him instead of Howzat, "Where's Allah!" He points to the sky, the batsman walks.
    There's only one Darren Gough!

  15. #15
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    Haha, lol...

    Might try dat!

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