Cooking time - 1 test
1 English cricket side (preferably of some ability, but not vital)
A biased coin
Take biased coin, and mix well with Ricky Ponting, giving you a victorious coin toss. Use your Andrew Strauss to bat very well for 2 sessions, then just simmer the rest of the batsmen until the total reduces. Use your favourable weather tool to liven up the pitch on your 2nd day, then employ your Rudi Koertzen to remove unwanted opposition openers, then utilise the rest of your favourable weather to remove the petulant batsmen who've risen to the top of the opposition order. Come back in and mix up a chunk of runs until the end of day 3, then set aside. On day 4, you need to mix your Rudi Koertzen thoroughly, preferably with your Freddie Flintoff, until most of the opposition batsmen are removed from the mix. You may find a couple of stubborn pieces of batsmen remain at the end of Day 4, but on Day 5 use your Freddie Flintoff again to remove these, with your Rudi Koertzen on standby just in case.