Devil Duckys World Cup Essentials

[luckyeddie]

<quack>

14 March, New Zealand v India, Centurion

Craig McMillan (New Zealand)

It's the second ball of the innings. New Zealand desperately need a good start. Their tenure in the tournament looks precarious, but it is in their own hands - for a while. Craig McMillan's had a pretty nondescript World Cup 2003 - just the 75 against Bangladesh in the 'credit' column, but you know what they say : "Cometh the hour, cometh the man." The ball is pitched up on leg stump. Craig flicks at it, the ball flies to square leg and The Dentist, Killer Harbhajan takes the catch. Yes, "Cometh the hour..". The hour is 10.01 am local time so the man is obviously Zaheer Khan. Soon be eating one of those wonderful Malaysian Airlines dinners, Craig.
DD rating - 4.5 lilypads

Nathan Astle (New Zealand)

The one-time leader in the lilypad league seems intent on securing the title he considers his by right as he registers his third entry in the competition and his second in successive games. Three ducks. As many as Nicky de Groot and Gerrie Snyman. OK, we know you've got that undefeated ton against Zimbabwe so you're not in their class yet, but you're working on it. This first-baller, though, was as straightforward as they come. Zaheer Khan delivers, pitched up on middle, it would have hit the same about halfway up if it hadn't been for the pad getting in the way. Not much to write home about so don't bother - you can tell them about it yourself in a couple of days. The roast's pretty good on the plane, but don't have the duck.
DD rating - 1 lilypad

[luckyeddie]

<quack>

15 March, Zimbabwe v Sri Lanka, East London

Douglas Hondo (Zimbabwe)

Chaminda Vaas has taken 19 wickets this World Cup. Wait a minute - here's Douglas. First ball, teaser. Missed it. Second ball, you know the rest. Yorker, bye bye Douglas. Bye bye Zimbabwe. Bye bye New Zealand. Chaminda Vaas has taken 20 wickets this World Cup. Hello Australia.
DD rating - 3 lilypads

Breadcrumb moment - Henry Olonga and Andy Flower

Note I did not put 'Zimbabwe' in parentheses alongside their names. No man is greater than a nation, but it is clearly obvious to me that these two are greater men than the LEADER of a nation.

Nothing else to say about the cricket, but the cricketing world will be all the poorer following the departure of Henry Olonga and Andy Flower from the international game. Two of the bravest men in sport. As I said five weeks ago, let's hope that your actions .... "may help to restore sanity and dignity to our Nation"

[luckyeddie]

<quack>

15 March, Australia v Kenya, Durban

Brijal Jagdish Patel (Kenya)

Brett Lee, marginally less ferocious than Killer Harbhajan (but getting there) has just dismissed Kennedy Otieno with a brute of a delivery. Brijal is yet to register his first duck in World Cup 2003, but with the Aussie speedster steaming in, it's his turn for a brief moment in the sun. As brief as they come too - first baller, shortish, vicious, because our Mr Patel has played forward instead of back. The ball pops up off the shoulder of the bat, Ricky Ponting dives and makes a difficult catch rather straightforward.
DD rating - 6 lilypads

David Oluoch Obuya (Kenya)

Brett's tail is up. There have only been 3 hat tricks in World Cup history. We've already had one - can we get another? David Obuya has other ideas. His previous innings in World Cup 2003 have been at number 8. Today, 2 wickets have fallen in two balls from Brett Lee, all the other recognised batsmen suddenly lose their gloves, pads, box, bat - anything rather than be the next man in. David's gear is to hand - he didn't hide it well enough. He's not worried - he's a Kenyan - he has the heart of a lion. Ha! He's not afraid of a mere man. Suddenly, as he strolls to the crease, he wonders what time it is. He looks towards the scoreboard - he cannot see a clock. As he takes guard, he glances up at the giant television screen - he still cannot see a clock. This is beginning to bother him, but still he is not afraid. The spirits of his ancestors are with him. Suddenly, he sees the replays of the two previous deliveries. Immediately, he realises what time it is - Brown Trousers O'Clock. The ball is through his late jab in a flash, Brett goes mental, The rest of the Aussies take 5 minutes to catch him and it's 3-3.
DD rating - 9 lilypads. There are now 3 leaders.

Brad Hogg (Australia)

George Bradley Hogg GLA strides purposefully to the wicket. The Aussies have stumbled a little to 117-4 chasing 175 to win. Aasif Yusuf Karim is in the middle of as unbelievably good spell of slow left arm that World Cup 2003 has witnessed. Darren Lehmann has warned Brad about Karim's 'arm ball'. He takes guard - two legs. What a strange expression when you think about it. The one in the middle's actually called 'middle', not 'the other leg stump'. Brad eyes the field - he's got company. A couple of close catchers just waiting for the mistake. The first ball from Karim is on off stump - arm ball!. Ha - can't fool our Brad like that. Second ball - on leg stump - arm ball! Turns it to short square leg. Third ball - on the other leg stump er sorry, middle. Arm ba... oh, spit! Brad plays a tad early and Karim takes an exceptional caught and bowled. 117-5 and GAME ON!

Breadcrumb Moment - Brett Lee (Australia)

Kennedy Otieno Obuya b Brett Lee 1
Brijal Jagdish Patel c Ricky Thomas Ponting b Brett Lee 0
David Oluoch Obuya b Brett Lee 0

At least it takes half an hour less to type out than the hat trick taken by Chaminda Vaas.

[Paid The Umpire]

bit harsh on Hogg

[luckyeddie]

Originally posted by Paid The Umpire
bit harsh on Hogg

<quack>

This thread is harsh on EVERYONE because it glorifies the mundane, holds the inept in the highest esteem and worships de Groot.

I admit that the occasional 'breadcrumb moment' does lavish occasional grudging praise on the particularly unworthy - Tendulkar, Lee, Vaas and so on, but for the most part we steer clear of that dodgy ground and stick to what we know best - and that is rubbish.

Just take solace in the fact that he didn't make the 'team of the tournament'.

<LE> I used the term 'Rubbish' sparingly in the ball-by-ball commentary yesterday. Just once - and that was reserved for Brad's stock ball - aka the 'long hop'.

I'm sorry for that interruption - what was the statement again?

Ah yes - Bit harsh on Hogg.

Using the same sort of negative psychology which applies in this thread, you are accusing me of being KIND to Hogg. OK point taken. I'll make up for it later.

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Originally posted by Paid The Umpire
bit harsh on Hogg

Not compared to the stick he got when he was first selected. Some people referred to him "Australia's worst spinner"

[Rik]

Originally posted by Paid The Umpire
bit harsh on Hogg

But would Warne have done better?

[Anna]

I've a feeling DD could be harsh on anyone.

Yay! My 300th post. I know it's not much by some standards, but it's something!