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WANTED: One English wicket-keeper

Craig

World Traveller
WANTED: One English wicket keeper, who can hold a cricket bat and knock out some runs to help out Kevin Pietersen for when the middle order goes AWOL. Ability to keep wickets well is also a strong must and so is the ability to play spin. Applicants are welcome to apply whether they are from England or South Africa or where ever. Applicants with the the liking of the sweep shot or to play shots that defy logic to need not apply. Any interested should contact Duncan Fletcher.
 

adharcric

International Coach
Dear Mr. Fletcher,

I am interested in the vacancy in your side. I was a teenage prodigy in India so surely I have some talent. Although I have yet to score a test century, my test average is far superior to that of either of your wannabe glovesmen. I may spill a few crucial chances in the next Ashes, but I will provide balance to the lineup and I'm an energetic little chap.

p.s. come on sir, you gave ashley a chance to look good, please ...

Regards,

Parthiv Ajay Patel
 
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Laurrz

International Debutant
i think Read is the best choice

but i think England should drop Mahmoof for an extra batsman perhaps
 

pasag

RTDAS
Laurrz said:
i think Read is the best choice

but i think England should drop Mahmoof for an extra batsman perhaps
Will never happen with Flintoff carrying an injury.
 

BoyBrumby

Englishman


This is the man for the job.

The only current test batsman to average fewer than Read & Jones (clue: he plays for Bangladesh). Admittedly he'll be 34 by the time he qualifies, but Nixon can fill in until then.
 

ripper868

Cricketer Of The Year
I have an english grandmother, played a bit of keeper in under 16's and opened the batting a few times. does that mean i qualify?
 

steds

Hall of Fame Member
adharcric said:
Dear Mr. Fletcher,

I am interested in the vacancy in your side. I was a teenage prodigy in India so surely I have some talent. Although I have yet to score a test century, my test average is far superior to that of either of your wannabe glovesmen. I may spill a few crucial chances in the next Ashes, but I will provide balance to the lineup and I'm an energetic little chap.

p.s. come on sir, you gave ashley a chance to look good, please ...

Regards,

Parthiv Ajay Patel
Dear Mr. Patel,

Thankyou for your enquiry into the problematic wicketkeepers job. As you probably well know, in England there are a shortage of keepers with the required skills to make it in my Test side. I have tried my current two over and over again and every single time, whilst impressing me with their shoddy wicketkeeping, their lacklustre batting fails to justify their existence. Having looked at your credentials, you seem to tick all the boxes. You have a better Test average than both my keepers, admitted in your letter of application that you are infact a shoddy wicketkeeper, and - most importantly - you aren't English. Therefore, Mr. Patel, I am writing to inform you that, providing that you have/will have a UK passport, the job is yours.

Yours truely,

D Fletcher
 

silentstriker

The Wheel is Forever
steds said:
Dear Mr. Patel,

Thankyou for your enquiry into the problematic wicketkeepers job. As you probably well know, in England there are a shortage of keepers with the required skills to make it in my Test side. I have tried my current two over and over again and every single time, whilst impressing me with their shoddy wicketkeeping, their lacklustre batting fails to justify their existence. Having looked at your credentials, you seem to tick all the boxes. You have a better Test average than both my keepers, admitted in your letter of application that you are infact a shoddy wicketkeeper, and - most importantly - you aren't English. Therefore, Mr. Patel, I am writing to inform you that, providing that you have/will have a UK passport, the job is yours.

Yours truely,

D Fletcher
Classic.
 

Prince EWS

Global Moderator
Langeveldt said:
Nic Pothas?
Easily the best keeper-batsman in county cricket, but I'm not exactly sure on his eligibility. He has played for South Africa in the past so England might be reluctant to pick him even if he was technically available.
 

chaminda_00

Hall of Fame Member
BoyBrumby said:
This is the man for the job.

The only current test batsman to average fewer than Read & Jones (clue: he plays for Bangladesh). Admittedly he'll be 34 by the time he qualifies, but Nixon can fill in until then.
Prasanna Jayawardene averages 17.88, its lower then all those three.
 

Tomm NCCC

International 12th Man
FOUND: James Foster

Surely, If Read messes this up, they have to choose Fozzie? He's had a fantastic couple of seasons
 

James90

Cricketer Of The Year
Prince EWS said:
Easily the best keeper-batsman in county cricket, but I'm not exactly sure on his eligibility. He has played for South Africa in the past so England might be reluctant to pick him even if he was technically available.
Why would that be? If he's selected for England then he has to wait another 5 years before he can play for South Africa...unlikely that he'll leave then isn't it.
 

Prince EWS

Global Moderator
James90 said:
Why would that be? If he's selected for England then he has to wait another 5 years before he can play for South Africa...unlikely that he'll leave then isn't it.
It isn't about the possibility of him leaving - it is about the fact that he has played for another country.
 

Poker Boy

State Vice-Captain
WANTED: One English wicket keeper, who can hold a cricket bat and knock out some runs to help out Kevin Pietersen for when the middle order goes AWOL. Ability to keep wickets well is also a strong must and so is the ability to play spin. Applicants are welcome to apply whether they are from England or South Africa or where ever. Applicants with the the liking of the sweep shot or to play shots that defy logic to need not apply. Any interested should contact Duncan Fletcher.
Unless you're name is James Foster that is....
 

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