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The joys of non-cricketers doing cricket marketing

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Number One



Where to start with this monstrosity

Perhaps with where the artist should have started. Probably should have started by looking at a photo of a game of cricket with a silly mid on in action. That is an insanely silly mid on that they've drawn there. In fact, in this post-Phil Hughes cricket world, it might be considered foolhardy to suggest that a fielder should take their position on the pitch somewhere that they are likely to be hit by the bowler and the batsman.

Secondly, how the hell has the ball ended up where it has? Clearly not the bat with the way it's angled. Perhaps off the glove, but again it seems unlikely with the way the gloves are. Perhaps the ball has thumped off the batsman's arm.

Thirdly, the definition is crap. It isn't wrong as such, but that definition could apply to a number of fielding positions.

Fourth, the fielder (presumably Zimbabwean in his red kit, but strangely playing against a batsman in whites?) is demonstrating the "crocodile catch" method of fielding. Hardly ideal.

One position, the attention to detail on the 'silly mid-off' fielder. I like the fact that his floppy hat has been rammed down his trousers whilst he's having to take the close in fielding position.

Overall Fail Rating: C-
 

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
I wouldn't have given it a C
T'was a C-

Got upgraded from a D due to the floppy-hat-down-arsecrack.

Mind you, I missed the cluster**** of playing with a red ball when the fielding team is playing in red. Good luck you overrated batting hacks!
 

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Number Two



Well, this is a much simpler disaster. The marketer either didn't get the memo that Neil McCallum retired from Scottish duties 4 years ago (and he was hardly a renowned big hitter anyway) or they have made the cardinal sim and quite rookie error of not knowing that New Zealand's most famous cricketer, who you see gurning out of every ANZ bank window and pretty much wall-to-wall on news websites and broadcasts is Brendon McCullum

Their tag line of "Keep an Eye Out" with the bails flying all over the place is hardly supportive to poor old Mark Boucher either, is it?

SCUM
 

Daemon

Request Your Custom Title Now!
Why is the picture showing Umar Akmal getting stumped by Dhoni while attempting a slog when the overall message is to watch out for sixes?
 

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Why is the picture showing Umar Akmal getting stumped by Dhoni while attempting a slog when the overall message is to watch out for sixes?
Plus, unless the batsman has no lower leg, he must be well within the crease, so is the 'keeper just being a ****?
 

Chewie

International Vice-Captain
I read the title wrong and thought this was going to be about Fleming and Astle's fujitsu ads
 

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Number Three



Well, this is fabulous. Clearly the marketeer is well aware of Brad Haddin's escapades as a wicket keeper and has decided that the best place for a wicket keeper to be is in front of the stumps. Secondly, what the hell is the batsman doing? He's wandered well out of his ground, jogged off about a yard outside off stump and looks as if he's trying to turn the ball into the leg side. This despite the ball being well outside leg stump. I'm assuming the ball has been delivered by a left-arm over bowler (perhaps right arm round), otherwise the keeper is probably in the wrong position. The right armer to get the ball there with that shot selection has probably released from well outside the return crease, angled across and then the ball will veer wildly down leg side for 5 wides. All in all - another cluster**** of a presentation. The keeper should be theoretically completing a regulation stumping, but his 'unorthodox' positioning will guarantee a no ball call.

Also, I'm sure they could have come up with some more common cricketing terms than 'cabbage patch'. Not very common these days. Probably should have gone with some play on 'State Highway 1' or 'Asphalt Highway'. Much more likely to be used in the commentary than this anachronistic term.
 

RossTaylorsBox

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
My favourite part of these posters is that they seem to be playing in some sort of post-apocalyptic world. A handful of survivors whose only respite from their suffering comes from playing games of cricket.
 

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