Some Ashes fun: Poms will love it

[kingkallis]

Found this on Facebook.

From the Ashes of defeat:

What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?

Retired.

What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?

A fisherman.

Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?

They haven't got any openers .

What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?

Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?

They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.

Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?

The woman who irons their cricket whites.

What's the height of optimism?

An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?

A vacant lot.

What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?

Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both

What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?

A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes

The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting. They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!

 

[Furball]

OP clearly lacks comic timing, would've been a lot funnier after the 2nd Test.

And the last joke doesn't make sense. Clarke's never lost the Ashes.

1/10.

 

[Howe_zat]

And the last joke doesn't make sense. Clarke's never lost the Ashes.

Because the whole thing's c+p from 2011

 

[Uppercut]

Don't mind Furball, he's not even a real Pom.

 

[benchmark00]

Because the whole thing's c+p from 2011

2011.

Try 1999.

 

[kingkallis]

OP clearly lacks comic timing, would've been a lot funnier after the 2nd Test.

And the last joke doesn't make sense. Clarke's never lost the Ashes.

1/10.

I would have posted it after 2nd test only but saw it just today...

 

[Furball]

2011.

Try 1999.

But Australia were good in 1999...

 

[Cooky Monster]

The height of optimism one is the best out of a bad bunch.

 

[G.I.Joe]

But Australia were good in 1999...

They're Englishmen jokes from the late 90s with the target flipped over.

 

[Arachnodouche]

Non-Australians calling Englismen pommies always feels a bit off to me. What other nationalities have dibs on calling them poms anyway? S. Africans? Kiwis?

 

[Hurricane]

When I was growing up I was told it was bad manners to call someone a Pom. Not really sure why I have never met anyone who resents the term.

 

[MW1304]

Probably because noone knows what it even means. Oh no I'm a pomegranate!

 

[CricAddict]

Found this on Facebook.

From the Ashes of defeat:

What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?

Retired.

What do you call a world-class English cricketer?

South African.