Novelty XIs Compendium

[Bijed]

In the swiftly off-topic 'Conditional XIs' thread, vcs had the excellent idea of:

I feel we should have a thread with Howe's novelty XIs compiled for ready reference. They're scattered all over the ATG team arguing thread and impossible to find.

So lets get this started (though not limited to Howe, and quality novelty XI will be considered) with the Novelty XIs from the aforementioned thread, I (and anyone who wishes to assist in this noble endeavour) can update as we stumble across older ones

As with the #onlyshri thread, I expect the mods to prioritise the stickying of this thread

Condition: a team for all seasons

1. Alex Hails
2. Sunny Gavaskar
3. Andrew Gale
4. Suresh Raina
5. Billy Midwinter
6. Tony Frost (w)
7. Freidel de Wet
8. Jon Snow
9. C. Old
10. Gareth Breeze
11. Kevin Shine

Condition: players whose names sound a bit like herbs and spices

1. Phil Salt
2. Herbert Sutcliffe
3. Cori Anderson
4. Frank Sorrell
5. Martin Lovage
6. Basil D’Oliveira
7. Cec Pepper
8. Phil Mustard (w)
9. Pat Cumins
10. Graham Dilley
11. Abdul Cardamom

12. Sassafras Nawaz

Home Ground: The Saffrons, Eastbourne

Condition: cricketers whose names sound a bit like crisp flavours

1. Smoky Baconrad Hunte
2. Varun Choprawn ****tail
3. Ready Salted Dexter
4. Raman Subba Roast Chicken
5. Andy Floworcester Sauce
6. Barbecue Beefy Botham
7. Luke Ronchilli
8. Ashton Salt and Vinagar
9. Niel Prawn Adcocktail
10. Graham Pickled Onions
11. Rizwan Cheesema and Onion

 

[Bijed]

Food for thought:

Meat-named cricketers XI (Allan Lamb etc excluded)

-Gautam Gammonbhir
-Jeet RaVeal
-Len Mutton
-Hashim Hamla
-ChicKen Barrington
-Brad Hogg Roast
-Dominic Pork
-Steve O'Beef
-Heath Streaky Bacon
-Yasirloin Shah
-Ryan Topsidebottom

Chicken XI

Graham Goujon
Jack Stuffingleton
Patsy Hendren
Hatchin' Tendulkar
Egg Lanning
Mike Filetta
Graeme Fowler
Elton Chickenburger
Rooster Theron
Chick Fleetwood-Smith
Dilhara Fernandos

Indian Takeaway XI

Nic Madrasinson
Zaflong Ansari
David Bhuna
Aravindaloo de Silva
Thilan Samosaweera
Korma Anderson
Romesh Aloowitharana
Tim Bresnaan
Steve O'Keema
Murali Kartikka Masala
Rogan Josh Hazlewood

Resilient side. Even after a bad day, you'd back them to come back strongly tomorrow

Spuds

Jacket Hobbs
Kirk Edwards
Geoff Mash
Shaun Mash
Chip Foster
Jasony Royal
Rod Mash
Daupinoisim Akram
Mashrafe Mortaza
Jonathan Agnew
Bob Crisp

Fruit & Veg XI

Tomato Latham
Alex Kale
Mark Grapebatch
Joe Beetroot
Steve Waughtermelon
Wriddhimango Saha
Sam Currant
Anil Kumquatble
Brett Broccolee
Saqlain Mushroomtaq
David Cucumbernard

Fruit XI

WG Grapes
Bananamul Haque
Usmango Khawaja
Greg Chapple
Orangelo Mathews
Plum Warner
Pearthiv Patel / Adam Pearore
Bob Appleyard
Angus Fraisins
Papaya Ntini
Pomegranete Mbangwa*

*last minute substitution for Pommie Mbanguava

Seafood XI

Mussel Arnold
Douglas Sardine
Jonathan Trout
Inzamam-ul-hake
BJ Wat-Ling
Brad Haddock
Mark Eelham
Chaminda Bass
Craig Whitebait
Harry Gurnard
Fuller Pilchard

 

[vcs]

Chaat Items XI

Samosa Robson
Simon Katich-ori
Ian Bell-puri
Sev Smith
Dabeli Malan
Tikki Clarke
Tim Pani-puri (wk)
Kagiso Dahi-vada
Jake Bhalla
James Patties-inson
Lakshmipathy Pav-Bhaji

Dry Fruit XI:

Michael Cranberry
Hashim Amla
Wally Almond
Hemang Badami
Shakib al-Raisin
Angelo Cashews
Clyde Walnut (wk)
Date Steyn
Josh Hazelnut
Cashew Maharaj
Venkatapathy Kaju

.

 

[Howe_zat]

Ah, one day, one day, I knew I would have a purpose. And here it is.

 

[Shri]

Marvel XI:

1. Chris "Cap" Rogers
2. Prithvi Sebastian Shaw
3. Viv "Mr. Fantastic" Richards
4. Tip Jane Foster
5. Johnny Storm Bairstow
6. Shane "MJ" Watson
7. Matthew Wade Wilson
8. Frank Castle Tyson
9. Mitchell Stark
10. Reon Kingpin
11. Stephen Strange O'Keefe

 

[Daemon]

There’s a whole bunch of gold in the pun thread iirc

 

[OverratedSanity]

...

Furniture XI

Deskmond Haynes
Chestofdrawers Pujara
Stan McCabinet
Mahela Jayawardrobe
Lindsay Hassettee
Asif Mujtable
Mark Coucher
Farveez Mahoganyroof
Chair Langeveldt
Alec Bedser
Bishan Singh Bedi

1. Haseeb Hameen
2. Waverage Hinds
3. Tom Graverageny
4. Phil Mean
5. Mean Ali
6. Hugh-Bromley Daverageport
7. Median Healy+
8. Graeme Mediocremer
9. Peter Leverage
10. JK Leverage
11. Mushtaq Ahmedian

Ahmediocre Shehzad
Kusal Meandis
Luke All-Wright
Ordinarishikesh Kanitkar (c)
Ferhan Meh-ardien
Mean Khan (wk)
Averagekar Salvi
Harold regularwood
Azhar Meh-mood
Lonwabo "so-so"be
Nathan Lyon

CW doggo XI

Shiba inufan
Hound_zat
Vic_orthodog
Flibbertypupper
Labradders retriever
Honestbrittany
Top_Dog
Precameranian
Hurricanine
Athlaika
Gerunt is my hero

 

[Prince EWS]

I chuckled at Mehardien, especially given you could've used Mehidy but didn't.

 

[vcs]

Struggling to work out how Lyon got in.

This is bothering me more than it should.

 

[OverratedSanity]

Struggling to work out how Lyon got in.

This is bothering me more than it should.

He's average

 

[OverratedSanity]

I made an xi of cricketers whose names sound like Pokémon I'm struggling to find

 

[OverratedSanity]

Howe is the undisputed GOAT at this

CW ATG Meme XI

1. #shanewatsonthoughts
2. Gambhiring
3. Big Daddy Kane
4. Ross the Boss
5. McCullum earning the right to be aggressive*
6. One Bad Haddin+
7. Faulkner on debut
8. Moeen is a perfectly fine bowler FFS
9. Ashwin can bat
10. Siddle with big heart
11. Nostrils

 

[trundler]

Graham Coochie
Jack Knobs
Ricky Poontang
Willie Hammond
Victor Trumpet
Vajayjay Hazare
Quinton De Kock
Peter Bollock
Harold Lar-wood
Waqar Penis
Be**** Singh Bedi

I'm inexplicably proud of this.

Aw yeah, I knew my moment would come.

 

[vcs]

The Indian Dessert XI

Krishnamachari Shrikhand
Imrul Kayes-ari
Sheera-yas Iyer
Payasam Ul-Haq
Pravin Aamras
Rasgulla Arnold
Shakib Halwa-Son
Syed Kheer-mani
Umar Gul-ab Jamun
Barfi Su'a
Shannon Rabri-el

A bit light on fast bowling, but heavy on the stomach

.

 

[Bijed]

I made an xi of cricketers whose names sound like Pokémon I'm struggling to find

This one?

Pokémon XI

Bulbasaurav Ganguly
Farfetch'du plessis
Karun Dragonair
Scyther Ali Khan
Venomothal Rao
Lapras-anna Jayawardene (w)
Oddish Sodhi
Cameroon Koffing
Vaporeon King
Paras Mhambrey
Makhaya Dratini

All posted hereabouts for future reference

 

[Daemon]

Fishy XI

1. Salmon Butt
2. Ken Herrington
3. Jonathan Trout
4. Arjuna Ranatuna
5. Douglas Sardine
6. Halibut Bashar
7. Cod Marsh
8. Pike Proctor
9. Shaun Pollock
10. Molly Stone
11. Mohammed Abbass

 

[zaremba]

Top marks for Douglas Sardine.

 

[OverratedSanity]

Barfi Su'a

 

[Howe_zat]

Had a look

Filthy Cheddars

1. Montery Jack Hobbs
2. Cheshire Pujara
3. Ravi Beaufortpara
4. Salimburger Malik
5. Syd Gregorgonzoly
6. Stiltony Greig
7. Craig Kiesfeta
8. Vernon Philadelphier
9. Wendsleydale Steyn
10. Cheddar Sayers
11. Danish Blue Kaneria

vs.

Richard Cheese Quee XI

1. Marcus Cheddarscothick
2. Tamie Iqbal
3. Virat Colby
4. Hababybel Bashar
5. Neil Harvati
6. Mike Filetta+
7. Richard Hadbrie c
8. Dmitri Mascarpone
9. Sean Abbot's Gold
10. Ashley Jarlsberg
11. Steve Parmesan

'Dmitri Mascarpone' in particular is a fine contribution to the world.

All Time Verb XI

1. Alastair Cook
2. David Warner
3. CB Fry
4. Martin Love
5. Roston Chase
6. Jim Parks
7. Jason Holder
8. Vernon Philander
9. Bobby Peel
10. Tony Lock
11. Michael Holding

Adjective XI

1. Bill Brown
2. Wilf Slack
3. Frank Wooley
4. Cameron White
5. Colin Bland
6. Tom Moody
7. Reece Young
8. Chris Old
9. Gladstone Small
10. Tino Best
11. Marlon Black

 

[vcs]

Cheddar Sayers