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Mental Health Thread

anil1405

International Regular
Yeah, the thing I did wrong for years was refuse to admit myself that what I was going through (frequent, as in multiple per day, panic attacks with accompanied physical sickness, plus essentially being unable to face interacting with people) wasn't just the norm - I would try to hide it and I told myself that presumably this happened to everyone all the time. In reality, I coudn't hope to keep it hidden and I knew really that it wasn't just a normal thing but I just kept trying to lie to myself for ages until someone basically just (sensitively) told me that it was obvious what I was going through). For me, just talking about it, whilst not easy at first, was the biggest single thing I did to put it (mostly) behind me. Lots of other factor too, of course, including joining this forum, as it meant I got more social interaction but without also triggering my symptoms like physically going out socially often would. I'll echo others' sentiments by saying what a good thread this is (and a good blog too)
Whats your situation now? Are you comfortable talking about it to your near and dear ones? Do you feel better about yourself?
 

Bijed

International Debutant
Whats your situation now? Are you comfortable talking about it to your near and dear ones? Do you feel better about yourself?
I still don't always find it easy to talk about it for the first time with any given person, but once I have, I'm so much more comfortable talking about it with them again. It's helped a lot that everyone that I have spoken to about it has been sensitive and respectful. And yeah, I feel vastly better about myself :)
 

anil1405

International Regular
The 3 guys from UK I spoke about above in this page have also started a Facebook group named "MENTalk" to raise awareness and be there for one another. So that group could be of help to anyone if needed.
 

Kirkut

State Captain
Mental illness is a terrible nasty thing. But this is a good thread.
Worse than physical pain. Physical pain in it's extreme form is terrible but body learns to adapt to it with time, the body never adapts to mental illness which is why chaos never goes away.
 

Kirkut

State Captain
For all those who have suffered alone any sort of positive words sound like gold.

The amount of **** people with a mental disorder go through is ridiculous and I appreciate everyone doing that for their bravery. On top of that we have to act in front of others as if everything is going fine with us which eats up more of our energy so it sucks even more.
I share my personal experience - be kind to yourself, it's okay to slow down and avoid taking life seriously.

The root cause of this is the cut throat competitive culture we live in. Everyone wants to be an uber alpha like Harvey Specter all time, no one wants to be the beta mediocre. Very few accept that humans are imperfect.
 

Burgey

Request Your Custom Title Now!
5 minutes at the start of the day....thats where I am losing my battle. I get sucked into **** early in the morning and half my day gets ruined. On the contrary as you said if we own the first 5 minutes then that will do us a lot of good. And how we spend the last 30 minutes before we sleep also plays a big part.

Your supermarket example is so apt for people with anxiety, we could be pumped up and happy one moment and then without a valid reason everything looks downwards all of a sudden.
Do you find part of the problem at the start of a day is you get sucked into picking up your phone and checking emails/ the net/ social media etc? Just a question in general I suppose, I think sometimes we sort of never switch off, and I find if I'm feeling anxious then that sort of immediacy to mental stimulation isn't always a good thing. it's just so difficult to disconnect these days.

Anyway, I echo the thoughts of others who've said what a terrific thread this is, and I wish everyone who's posted in it all the best with whatever issues they're facing. None of you need any affirmation or vindication from me or anyone else on here, but imho you're all very brave, and good people.

Our little community at its best right here.
 

vcs

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Do you find part of the problem at the start of a day is you get sucked into picking up your phone and checking emails/ the net/ social media etc? Just a question in general I suppose, I think sometimes we sort of never switch off, and I find if I'm feeling anxious then that sort of immediacy to mental stimulation isn't always a good thing. it's just so difficult to disconnect these days.

Anyway, I echo the thoughts of others who've said what a terrific thread this is, and I wish everyone who's posted in it all the best with whatever issues they're facing. None of you need any affirmation or vindication from me or anyone else on here, but imho you're all very brave, and good people.

Our little community at its best right here.
Yeah I wish I had the discipline to avoid doing this.. would save so much time. I was totally disconnected for a week on vacation and didn't really miss it TBH. Then again, this place is pretty much my entire online social media presence and forms a big part of my regular human interaction.. so I dunno.
 

vogue

International Vice-Captain
As test fan pointed out, encourage them to seek help and tell them how strong they are for battling their mental issues. Its not just the mental disorder but trying to put up a normal/happy face in front of everyone also eats up all your energy. So if there is someone who supports them through their journey that makes things easy. It is tough to empathise with them though, as you wouldn't understand what they are going through.

It is tough to think of what else you could say to them as the subject is so untouched in general, but there are many things you SHOULDN'T be telling them. To name a few:

- Things like just be positive and you will get through it. If it was that easy then they wouldn't be suffering with a disorder in the first place.
- Its just in your head. This freaks them out.
- You need to let it go.
- I know how it feels to be depressed/anxious. Everyone feels depressed/stressed in life at some point but thats not the same as having a Mental Disorder. (I am posting a video below that differentiates between normal stress and having a Anxiety Disorder)
- You always seem happy and cheerful, why do you think you feel the way you do.
- You are probably just going through a bad phase


Helpful, thank you. Am married to someone who goes through periods of depression and these are definitely the things they should not be hearing.
 

sledger

Spanish_Vicente
"It's just in your head" is one of the ****ing dumbest things to say anyway in any context. The abovementioned problems with it aside, just because something only exists in someone's head doesn't make it any less real ffs.
 

Kirkut

State Captain
Yeah I wish I had the discipline to avoid doing this.. would save so much time. I was totally disconnected for a week on vacation and didn't really miss it TBH. Then again, this place is pretty much my entire online social media presence and forms a big part of my regular human interaction.. so I dunno.
It's good that your social media presence is restricted to CricketWeb. I either lurk here in CricketWeb or head to YouTube for music, I used to read a lot of philosophy online before but cut it down totally to minimize my daily screen time. I used to be a regular at Indiancricketfans website but recent political developments has polluted the otherwise friendly atmosphere there, CricketWeb for all the ban announcements and infractions for hilarious reasons has some of the sanest people you can find on the internet.

But I'd also say try finding a group outside the internet in the real world where you can meet people like yourself, minimum screen time is important, no screen time is the best.
 

anil1405

International Regular
I share my personal experience - be kind to yourself, it's okay to slow down and avoid taking life seriously.

The root cause of this is the cut throat competitive culture we live in. Everyone wants to be an uber alpha like Harvey Specter all time, no one wants to be the beta mediocre. Very few accept that humans are imperfect.
Yeah I've learnt to be kind to myself over the last year or two and spreading the same message to others. I have even taken a break of sorts now but the thing is I've been freelancing over the last few years and when there is no one around you at work it tends to get too boring and I lack inspiration.

Not that I like to compare myself with others (hate it) but I probably have too much expectations of myself and haven't found that zone yet where my expectations meet my reality.
 

anil1405

International Regular
Do you find part of the problem at the start of a day is you get sucked into picking up your phone and checking emails/ the net/ social media etc? Just a question in general I suppose, I think sometimes we sort of never switch off, and I find if I'm feeling anxious then that sort of immediacy to mental stimulation isn't always a good thing. it's just so difficult to disconnect these days.

Anyway, I echo the thoughts of others who've said what a terrific thread this is, and I wish everyone who's posted in it all the best with whatever issues they're facing. None of you need any affirmation or vindication from me or anyone else on here, but imho you're all very brave, and good people.

Our little community at its best right here.
Absolutely get sucked into mobile first up. I guess this is a universal problem now but it gets worse for those with mental health issue.

Yeah switching off the mind is a big task at times. Its like you wake up with the problems you were thinking about before sleep. Not being present in the moment is also a common problem these days. People have their food thinking about something or meet other people and are not mentally present in that moment etc.
 

harsh.ag

Hall of Fame Member
Absolutely get sucked into mobile first up. I guess this is a universal problem now but it gets worse for those with mental health issue.

Yeah switching off the mind is a big task at times. Its like you wake up with the problems you were thinking about before sleep. Not being present in the moment is also a common problem these days. People have their food thinking about something or meet other people and are not mentally present in that moment etc.
Wrt the phone, changing the colour scheme to Monochromacy (greyscale) has been really helpful to me. Hope it works for you as well.
 

Kirkut

State Captain
Especially when you begin to understand what might be some of the root causes of anxiety. Definitely exerting physical energy can have huge benefits.
Exercise is great but only temporarily solves the issue, it does not resolve emotional wounds.
 

Kirkut

State Captain
I'd also say to avoid videos like these:


The definition of mental toughness this video gives is that you must always invite trouble to yourself. It will make you fidgety.
 

sledger

Spanish_Vicente
The problem with the term mental toughness is that it implies that anyone who isn't "mentally tough" is "mentally weak", which itself implies that anyone who struggles with mental health issues is weak or is suffering because there is something wrong with them etc.
 

andmark

International Captain
Seeings as others have given a stiff right hand to the stigma (and thank you for doing so), I guess I should be open as well. Since last year I've been on medication for anxiety and depression. There were physical symptoms as it were such as self-harm and a suicide attempt. It began with trouble with the student loans company in the UK who are incredibly difficult to work with ("you need this document"; andmark gives them that document; "oh no, we mean in this way") and escalated when needing to do the likes of 12,000 words of essays in a month. I've pretty much dropped out of the MA I was studying and feel generally better for it. Still though, I can understand how stories of students committing suicide can happen

Sorry, I don't mean to be dreary or dramatic but I guess I'm trying to stay within the open spirit of this thread; and thank you to everyone who has posted or liked posts in the thread. These types of discussions are a sign things are heading in the right way I'd like to think.
 

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