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Mental Health Thread

anil1405

International Regular
Alright guys, anyone here have or continue to experience Mental Health related issues?

I can recollect suffering from Anxiety and Depression since I was a kid. Since last couple of years i've been seeing a Psychologist and she confirmed that I have had 'Mixed Anxiety-Depressive Disorder' for a long time and also diagnosed me with clinical depression. I also have Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) which I have to live with for the rest of my life, but something that could be managed with proactive thoughts and stuff.

I started a blog (www.theanxiousme.com) to talk about my experience so far in life with my Mental Health issues with the hope of raising mental health awareness and in the process also let others suffering from the same know that they are not alone and that they can still live a life as they wish to by overcoming their mental struggles.
 

Ausage

Cricketer Of The Year
I don't have that much to add personally (right now anyway), other than good on you for talking about it. The stigma around mental illness (seen in the idea that that term is in any way pejorative) is dire and needs to die asap.

All the best to you in working through it.
 

Test_Fan_Only

State Regular
I have recently started medication for depression and anxiety, something that has afflicted on and off all my adult life. I have considered suicide many times and while I have never attempted suicide I have put myself in a position to commit suicide. For example standing by the side of the road watching cars go by and thinking about which one I should jump in front of to die.

It makes life hard to live when your thoughts are full of suicide or wanting to die. Anxiety has also stopped me doing things I have wanted to do, I have a number of times driven a reasonable distance to events only for anxiety to stop me attending.

If you have problems there is help, please get help, it will improve your life.
 

mr_mister

Hall of Fame Member
I've been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It's been dormant for a long time, so I think I might have been misdiagnosed based on some acute psychotic episodes when I used to smoke weed morning and night. I see my GP every few months but don't really feel I need to for much longer. It is what it is


I tried to tell a girl I've been dating recently about it but ended up only half explaining things(didnt mention the word schizophrenia) due to the stigma I assume people have against it. Now I think I've just left her confused by only revealing bits of the story lol
 
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Maximas

Cricketer Of The Year
I don't have that much to add personally (right now anyway), other than good on you for talking about it. The stigma around mental illness (seen in the idea that that term is in any way pejorative) is dire and needs to die asap.

All the best to you in working through it.
Tough issue, I'd like to think that people with genuine mental illnesses should feel comfortable openly talking about their experiences as a way to connect with others sharing such illnesses, as well as in effect educating non-sufferers about what it is like to live with such conditions and how they may be able to help. I'm also very supportive of mental health being the subject of serious research and study, I believe it is a problem that affects many people, sometimes in a very debilitating way, and the plight of these people is not as recognised as sufferers of physical afflictions, which is regrettable.

From an anecdotal point of view, I see and interact with a lot of young people who are very vocal about their self diagnosed conditions and use them as walls to hide behind when things don't go their way in life and attempt to gain recognition and validation on social media for their supposed suffering. This may be a very cynical take and I'm very open to different interpretations (my anecdotal experience is based largely on my interactions with young students and particularly young musicians such as myself) but I've always found myself frustrated with such people, and it has certainly coloured my view of mental health. But then I've very much become someone who champions self responsibility and in my own lived experience I've been able to pull myself out of situations where my mental health has been comprised by life circumstances, however I do understand that certain factors in my life have made that possible and not everyone enjoys the sort of upbringing and lifestyle that I do. Looking forward to reading further responses to see some more perspectives on mental health and have my own perspective challenged, and I hope this thread is of some value to anyone suffering from a mental health condition.
 

anil1405

International Regular
I don't have that much to add personally (right now anyway), other than good on you for talking about it. The stigma around mental illness (seen in the idea that that term is in any way pejorative) is dire and needs to die asap.

All the best to you in working through it.
Thank You buddy. And yes the stigma needs to end which is why I have chosen to do whatever I can to contribute my bit towards it.
 

anil1405

International Regular
I have recently started medication for depression and anxiety, something that has afflicted on and off all my adult life. I have considered suicide many times and while I have never attempted suicide I have put myself in a position to commit suicide. For example standing by the side of the road watching cars go by and thinking about which one I should jump in front of to die.

It makes life hard to live when your thoughts are full of suicide or wanting to die. Anxiety has also stopped me doing things I have wanted to do, I have a number of times driven a reasonable distance to events only for anxiety to stop me attending.

If you have problems there is help, please get help, it will improve your life.
Suicidal thoughts sucks. Hope you are taking appropriate measures to combat it or stop those thoughts from re-emerging. And yes anxiety does a lot from within and prevents us from having a normal life if we allow it to.

After over two decades of suffering I am taking help now as mentioned above. I am on medication too for anxiety and depression. Things are not normal yet as I still have to do my bit to not let anxiety take control over me.
 

anil1405

International Regular
I've been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It's been dormant for a long time, so I think I might have been misdiagnosed based on some acute psychotic episodes when I used to smoke weed morning and night. I see my GP every few months but don't really feel I need to for much longer. It is what it is


I tried to tell a girl I've been dating recently about it but ended up only half explaining things(didnt mention the word schizophrenia) due to the stigma I assume people have against it. Now I think I've just left her confused by only revealing bits of the story lol
Good that you are trying to be open about it. Yeah the social stigma surrounding mental health is a b*tch.
 

anil1405

International Regular
Identifying the root cause of an Anxiety and Depressive disorder might be the first step towards combating it.

Here is my root cause and how it all emerged.

Growing up as a kid I was a shy and introverted guy who was raised in a protective environment. But in school I used to see people around me having fun together and enjoying life. I always wanted to be an outgoing guy who could do the same i.e. enjoy life and make the most of it. But this clash in my expectations and the reality of who I was gave birth to Depression and Anxiety. Besides I was a guy always low on self-confidence and unaware of what to do in life. Academically I was an average student at best who could barely concentrate on what was being taught in the class.

I had no clue what to study after high school and decided to go with the flow of what others were doing at that point. And the trend in those days was studying Computer Science Engineering. But the subjected sounded Greek and Latin to me so I barely managed to scrap through my degree. Once I was out of college I had no clue what to do in life while I was seeing people around me get into jobs or go abroad for higher studies. This made me depressed that everyone around me were progressing well while I was stuck. On the other hand my anxiety always prevented me from stepping out and meeting new people and even going for job interviews. Later I decided to head to Scotland to do Masters as one of my friend went there few months back. Life was good while I was there but again after completing my Masters I was anxious to even apply for jobs, let alone going out for interviews. I continued working at McDonald's but had to come back once my visa was about to expire. (The ****tiest decision of my life was to come back from Scotland). Once I got back to India things turned worse as I couldn't adjust back to the Indian lifestyle. I always felt comfortable among people who were polite or greeted and initiated a conversation first, something that the Scots were good at from my experience. So I badly missed the country for good 4-5 years after coming back.

My anxiety and depression only doubled and tripled during this period. I started to question myself for the stupid decision I had taken and used to hate myself. Then I thought why not try and establish a career on the business side of sports since that was my only area of interest. So I did an online course and took up an internship at a football club in India. But during this period I realised that I was not meant for sports industry as this industry demanded people who could socialise and network with ease, something that I was terrible at. So hopes came crashing down again and this was the worst period of my life.

Somehow I realised that marketing is where I belong and I started feeling passionate about this subject for a change. The thought of helping a client establish a relationship with their customers and in the process sell their products sounded exciting and creative for me. Once I discovered my passion few years back Depression started to fade away. But I was desperate to achieve something and be known for something. This desperation only increased my anxiety and I continue to battle with anxiety till date.

My psychologist also revealed that I had Generalised Anxiety Disorder. This disorder stops me from doing basic things that normal people do. For example, going to bank to get things done or just imagining me driving a car freaks me out. I start to ask myself questions like 'what if i go to the bank and do not fill this form properly?', 'What if the bank employee looks at me like a fool for not knowing the procedures?'. 'What if I bump into another car while I am driving?' or 'What if someone else bumps into my car?'. Constantly thinking about these thoughts freaks me out before I even do it. Heck even trying to reach somewhere on time increases my heartbeat by 10 folds at times.

Now I am in a position where I know what I am passionate about in life but I still am not in a place to execute it. I am a freelancer of sorts so I am alone most of the time with no one to talk to or motivate me to get things going or just someone to talk to and keep myself upbeat. But at the same time this over exuberance of wanting to achieve something and be known for something drives me crazy.
 

mr_mister

Hall of Fame Member
Tough issue, I'd like to think that people with genuine mental illnesses should feel comfortable openly talking about their experiences as a way to connect with others sharing such illnesses, as well as in effect educating non-sufferers about what it is like to live with such conditions and how they may be able to help. I'm also very supportive of mental health being the subject of serious research and study, I believe it is a problem that affects many people, sometimes in a very debilitating way, and the plight of these people is not as recognised as sufferers of physical afflictions, which is regrettable.

From an anecdotal point of view, I see and interact with a lot of young people who are very vocal about their self diagnosed conditions and use them as walls to hide behind when things don't go their way in life and attempt to gain recognition and validation on social media for their supposed suffering. This may be a very cynical take and I'm very open to different interpretations (my anecdotal experience is based largely on my interactions with young students and particularly young musicians such as myself) but I've always found myself frustrated with such people, and it has certainly coloured my view of mental health. But then I've very much become someone who champions self responsibility and in my own lived experience I've been able to pull myself out of situations where my mental health has been comprised by life circumstances, however I do understand that certain factors in my life have made that possible and not everyone enjoys the sort of upbringing and lifestyle that I do. Looking forward to reading further responses to see some more perspectives on mental health and have my own perspective challenged, and I hope this thread is of some value to anyone suffering from a mental health condition.
I get where you're coming from, it appears everyone suffers from anxiety these days if you go by social media. But I work with a lot of mentally ill people too messed up to leave the house and certainly too messed up to get a job or even own a social media account. There are plenty out there who really wish they didn't have the obstacle of mental illness in their life
 

GoodAreasShane

International Vice-Captain
Everyone has their problems, this is a great thread. I know from personal experience that keeping things bottled up is not good mentally. Kudos to anyone who is battling mental health issues, it isn't easy to speak up, it isn't easy to cope with life, but ultimately it is worth keeping on
 
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anil1405

International Regular

Jeez those names of cricketers at the end who committed suicide was surprising to know. Including Jonny Bairstow's dad.
 
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Maximas

Cricketer Of The Year
I get where you're coming from, it appears everyone suffers from anxiety these days if you go by social media. But I work with a lot of mentally ill people too messed up to leave the house and certainly too messed up to get a job or even own a social media account. There are plenty out there who really wish they didn't have the obstacle of mental illness in their life
Yeah my partner is a great example actually, she suffers from what I would describe to be a fairly mild case of depression, but she would never let on to anyone and probably gets more frustrated than I over the aforementioned type of people I bemoaned in my earlier post, and she very much just wants to be rid of depression as it causes her undue stress and pretty much just gets in the way of her enjoying her life to the fullest
 

sledger

Spanish_Vicente
Not wishing to pry, but believing that it is possible to get "rid" of it is a huge hurdle to making progress.
 

anil1405

International Regular
Not wishing to pry, but believing that it is possible to get "rid" of it is a huge hurdle to making progress.
The first step is acceptance. Accepting that you have it is tough but thats where the journey towards recovery begins. In the past I tried to push away my anxiety and depression and told myself I don't want this ****, but the more you do it the more you suffer. The moment the person accepts it and are self-aware of who they are is when they can start to deal with it. I can't speak on behalf of everyone but this was the case with me.

So my psychologist was like, let it come, invite it in and let it sit beside you while you continue to do your work. Strange as it may sound reading this, this is how it works. And in the longer run, its about fine tuning your energy and thoughts to not let it effect you. Its so difficult but end of the day has to be done.
 

MrPrez

International Debutant
Suffer from Pure-O OCD. It was utterly torturous until I got treatment. Now it is incredibly manageable and nothing more than an occasional annoyance rather than the existential torment of before.
 

anil1405

International Regular
Suffer from Pure-O OCD. It was utterly torturous until I got treatment. Now it is incredibly manageable and nothing more than an occasional annoyance rather than the existential torment of before.
Good on you mate for getting treatment and great to know its well under control. How long have you suffered before you decided to get it treated? Don't mind me asking this but your experience could help other people who might be going through what you have in the past.
 

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