Ray Price, Blignaut or Andy Flower. Or all three, seeing as how they're qualified through Kolpak. It would be interesting to see how they handled playing on a pitch that slopes approximately 15 degrees horizontal to the pitch. Blignaut would love the small dimensions of the ground, as even his mi***** would go for six. He might even repeat the feat of Andy Caddick (benefit match...) and hit Upottery Church tower, about 50m from the ground. Or clear the orchard and get it into the Otter river, or decapitate one of the cows in the Cow Field End.
Another thing, these guys would have to get used to not actually having a pavilion. We have to get changed and have tea in one small room annexed to the Village Hall. A bit of a climbdown for most club sides, let alone internationals.
Price would enjoy the copious turn on offer, particularly if you turn it down the hill (when I bowl I turn it up the hill, form the Cow Field End, as I think it's lucky) and Flower would have no problem combating the pitch or the bowling in the lowest First Team Division in the Devon Cricket League.