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Cricket Web Football

Magrat Garlick

Global Moderator
In a galaxy far, far away, there are still games of football being played. It is a truly bizarre world, generated by the random fluctuations of something known only as "SIGAMES FOOTBALL MANAGER 2020".

The 2019-20 season recently concluded, and we're getting ready for EURO 2020 and Copa América 2020, two massive, messy international tournaments.

We formally invite all interested partners to sign up. You will initially be placed with the U23 squad of the Crabs, a franchise that was founded last year and placed third in the Premier League, under the stable* guidance of Brazilian manager João Sousa (57), known for first season magic and falling out with everyone as time goes on. The stars of that team are mercurial Moroccan Oscar "Bami" Wood, the Colombian ball wizard known as Dan, and the Norwegian mongrel Hannah McCormack (yes, women play here and do well). They also lifted the Milk Cup, but were disappointing in Europe.

The Crabs is about to be ravaged by clubs willing to spend money right now. It is to be hoped that the club can recruit new blood, but in its current state the club appears to be a development vehicle, as the Crabs aren't really an established presence in the football world.

The Premier League table as of 27 May, 2020:

Please complete the following form to be considered. Note that platinum lounge members may be considered for full membership of the Crabs team or for other, more suitable assignments in the game world.

Position (gk/df/mf/fw)
Main skill (heading/dribbling/anticipation/finishing/etc.)
Nationality (optional, will be randomly generated if not selected):
Gender and pronouns (optional, but useful for match reports):

Full reference of possible skillz:
For more information, please reread.

I can come across like a devious railroad mod in this, so you get one chance to say "No, I don't like this"
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Magrat Garlick

Global Moderator
A quick globe tour of what happened in 2019–20 season.

Champions League: Paris SG
Europa League: Lazio
England: Chelsea
Spain: Real Madrid
Italy: Juventus
Germany: Bayern München
France: Paris SG (quintuple)

South America: Internacional Porto Alegre
Argentina: Boca Juniors
Brazil: Flamengo
Rio State: Flamengo
São Paulo State: Santos
Gaucho State: Internacional Porto Alegre
Uruguay: Peñarol

North America: América Mexico
USA: New York Red Bulls
Mexico: Monterrey (MX) and Cruz Azul

Russia: Zenit Petrograd
Portugal: Benfica Lisbon
Belgium: Brugge
Netherlands: Ajax Amsterdam
Scotland: Celtic Glasgow
Norway: Tromso
Sweden: Malmo
Switzerland: Basel
Greece: AEK Atheena

Asia: Guangzhou Evergrande
China: Shanghai SIPG
Australia: Western Sydney Wanderers
India: Mohun Bagan
Singapore: Hougang United

Africa and South Africa: Mamelodi Sundowns

L'Équipe Ballon d'Or: Cristiano Ronaldo
FIFPro Team of the Year: Kepa (Chelsea/ESP); Carvajal (Real Madrid/ESP), van Dijk (Liverpool/ENG), Laporte (Man. City/FRA), Alex Sandro (Juventus/BRA); Bernardo Silva (Man. City/ESP), N. Kanté (Senegal/FRA); Messi (Barca/ARG), Wood (Crabs/MAR), Mané (Liverpool/ENG); Cristiano Ronaldo (Juventus/POR)

The world's most famous clubs.

The world's players.
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Global Moderator
yeah why not

Name: Sky Wideopen
Position: AML, secondary AMR
Main skill: Off the ball
Nationality: Australian
Gender and pronouns (optional, but useful for match reports): she/her


Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Name: Miguel Sanchez
Position: DF
Main skill: Positioning
Nationality: Uruguay
Gender and pronouns: Male (he/him)


Name: Daniel de Souza
Position (gk/df/mf/fw): FW
Main skill (heading/dribbling/anticipation/finishing/etc.): Finishing
Nationality (optional, will be randomly generated if not selected): Colombian
Gender and pronouns (optional, but useful for match reports): He/Him


Global Moderator
Name: Daniel de Souza
Position (gk/df/mf/fw): FW
Main skill (heading/dribbling/anticipation/finishing/etc.): Finishing
Nationality (optional, will be randomly generated if not selected): Colombian
Gender and pronouns (optional, but useful for match reports): He/Him
And in one post I'm not even the best Colombian forward named Dan in the squad.


Hall of Fame Member
Name: Sal Duff
Position: mf
Main skill : passing
Nationality (optional, will be randomly generated if not selected): whatever
Gender and pronouns (optional, but useful for match reports): Male he/him


likes this
Name: Zorax Doom
Position: GK
Main skill: Vision
Nationality: Hong Kong
Gender and pronouns: Male/He/Him
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Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
I remember when I had to use that awful football sim thing, those were the days.

Anyhow -

Name: Mathieu van der Mitchpoel
Position (gk/df/mf/fw): Attractive midfielder
Main skill (heading/dribbling/anticipation/finishing/etc.): Technique
Nationality (optional, will be randomly generated if not selected): Belgian
Gender and pronouns (optional, but useful for match reports): Male, he

Magrat Garlick

Global Moderator
Friday 12 June, 2020 (Guardian US)

Jo Bradley for the Guardian, Barranquilla

The 2020 Copa América has been thrown into disarray on the night of the tournament as one of the biggest stars was taken away by a squad of paramilitary soldiers. Leading Latin American politicians are already involved as planning for the tournament has been thrown into total chaos.

A considerable amount of criticism has appeared over the state of the Colombian FA’s paperwork after two players nicknamed Dan turned up in the 23-player squad announcements for the 2020 Copa América at the Ernesto Cortissoz International Airport. When the players assembled off their various airplanes to be ceremonially awarded the national team jersey, two players stepped forward when the number 9 jersey was awarded. The lithe figure known
only as Dan had very little to stand up against the big, burly Daniel de Souza (29, Internacional) and his entourage of paramilitary looking men, and onlookers could only look on horrified as the Crabs player was taken away in a black limousine.Dan's whereabouts are unknown, while De Souza has taken the No. 9 jersey by fait accompli.

Tomorrow’s opening match in Barranquilla is expected to be called off, after president of Colombia Iván Duque made a televised address to the nation in the nationwide news at 10pm. Meanwhile, president of Argentina Santiago Cafiero (41) questioned the wisdom of holding matches in his country.

A CONMEBOL spokesperson finally made a statement at midnight US Eastern time, noting that "while the safety of our players is still uncertain, we feel it is inappropriate to let the tournament continue as scheduled. We are undertaking conversations with all relevant parties and wish to see a resolution soon."

As the drama trickled across American live television, journalist Virginia Vallejo (71), speculated the move could be the beginning of a coup against Duque by the leftist guerrilla FARC. Pop stars Melanie Martínez (25) and Shakira (43) were less certain, urging to letting the situation play out while imploring CONMEBOL and the relevant authorities to take swift action. Fox Sports US rapidly contacted their UK division for information about how to fill the content void.

Crabs coach Joao Souza (57), rumoured to be involved with all parties, was unavailable for comment.

For more information, please contact your local DM, who is available by visitor message, email, or telephone.


Norwood's on Fire
Name: GIMH Lord
Position: Forward
Main skill: finishing
Nationality: Liechtenstein
Gender: male he


Cricketer Of The Year
Name: Jarkko Maxum
Position: Midfield
Main Skill: Free Kicks
Nationality: Vatican City
Gender: Male; He/Him