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Best Simpsons Quotes EVER

Cloete

International Captain
Post all you favourtie quotes here. I'm sure there's alot :)

Homer: 'Blue M&M- red M&M what's the difference, they all come out the same colour in the end'.

Homer: 'A missionary? But I don't even believe in Jebus!'

HOMER: If you've been good...pizza, if you've been bad...poison.
LISA: What if one of us has been good, and the other bad?
BART: Poison pizza.
HOMER: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

Ralph 'Me fail English? That's unpossible!'

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph: I'm a boy!
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

MILHOUSE: We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Cloete

International Captain
feel free to add your own :)

Ralph: The Doctor said i wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if i kept my finger outta there.
 

gibbsnsmith

State Vice-Captain
LOL!

too many...

OK,how about this

Homer[pretending to be mr.burns]: Can i have my letters please dear sir
Post Office Geez: and what is yr name plz
Homer:Mr.Burns
Post Office Geez: And whats yr first name Mr. Burns
Homer: I dont know
 

esgallindeion

U19 12th Man
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"God bless those pagans."

"I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."

"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"
 

Mr Mxyzptlk

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Sideshow Bob: I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
---
Homer : Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
---
Homer : Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
---
Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
---
TV Commercial: It's eleven o'clock. Do you know where your children are?
Homer: I told you last night, NO!
 

Cloete

International Captain
Lisa & Bart: "Dad we did something very bad."
Homer: "Did you wreck the car?"
Lisa & Bart: "No."
Homer: "Did you raise the dead?"
Lisa & Bart: "Yes"
Homer: "But the car's alright?"
Lisa & Bart nod heads
Homer: "Well that's okay then."
`````````````````````````````
Homer: "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night."
`````````````````````````````
Homer: "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that."
`````````````````````````````
Homer: "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."
`````````````````````````````
Homer: "Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."
`````````````````````````````
Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe)
`````````````````````````````
Homer: "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true."
`````````````````````````````
Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...
[laughs hysterically]
Homer: So to answer your question, I don't know.
`````````````````````````````
Lisa: As you know, we've been swimming. And we've developed a taste for it. We agree that getting our own pool is the way to go. Now before you respond, you should know that your refusal will result in months and months of...
Bart, Lisa: CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad?
Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
`````````````````````````````











 

gibbsnsmith

State Vice-Captain
Homer:"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:

You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."


Homer:"Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. And I say... This stinks!"

Homer:"I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb."

Homer:"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"

Homer:"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

Homer:"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

Homer:''To Start Press Any Key''. Where's the ANY key?

Bart:"What a day, eh Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have *** with them-as is my understanding."



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


IF YOU HAVENT DIED WITH LAUGHTER THEN WELL YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR
 

Magrat Garlick

Global Moderator
gibbsnsmith said:

IF YOU HAVENT DIED WITH LAUGHTER THEN WELL YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR
So, you

a) are a ghost
b) have no sense of humour ;)

Back to quotes:

Homer: Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Homer: Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.

Homer: What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Bart: Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.
 

luckyeddie

Cricket Web Staff Member
"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something."

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours."
 

Paid The Umpire

All Time Legend
Samuel_Vimes said:

Bart: Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.
Lisa: And vise-versa...


The greatest Ever Simpsons Quote:
Bart: You killed the zombie flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
 

DJellett

International Debutant
I had to dig this up.

HOMER: Max Power doesn't abbreviate. Each letter is equally as important as the one that preceeded it. Maybe more important. No, equally.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TRENT STEELE: Max Power. Nice name.

HOMER: Thanks. I got it off a hair dryer!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KNOCK KNOCK

HOMER: Who is it?

OUTSIDE: GOONS.

OUTSIDE #2: HIRED GOONS.

HOMER: HIRED GOONS? (opens door)


Please help me here guys.
 

Top_Cat

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Ralph: "I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids!"

(trips and falls)

Ralph: "I bent my Wookie." :(
 

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