Nicknames, and the Etiquette Surrounding Them

Shady Slim said:

yo may i ask what WPNCOS actually stands for?

i'm going to assume it's world's premier non chubby off spinner, ie because it's unfair to compare any off spinner to The One True HMRKBH

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Daemon said:

C stands for chucking. WPNCOS atm is Ashwin. Previously used to be Swann.

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Adders said:

I believe it stands for Worlds Premier Non Chucking Off Spinner, but I figure it may have to change to your version now that it is accepted that TPC is the best ever and he doesn't chuck.

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***** said:

Should modify that to WPNCFS and just crown Herath imo

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Burgey said:

I assume you are erroneously calling Herath TPC? He's not an offie though, is he?

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Adders said:

No, no error at all.......try and keep up.




Hmmm valid point.

Ok you can have WPNCOS back, but we (Fatty fans) are keeping TPC.

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Bijed said:

Hope he starts signing his autographs as HMRKB Herath WPNCFS, must be some kind of record for most initials

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Burgey said:

This is not how these things go. It's beholden upon the person who bestows the title to remove it or to pass it onto another player. For example, Smitteh (iirc) bestowed the late Phillip Hughes with the title "The Prince". You can't then have some Indian or SL blow-in come along and say "Ooooh look at this numpty who's made X hundred runs in our domestic T20 competition. Even though they bowl underarm at him, he is The Prince. Let's call him The Prince" and expect the rest of the site or indeed the world to just accept that. It's not how it works.

Which is why you can't call Herath TPC. I bestowed that nickname upon TPC several years ago, because he had returned to the Test team after being dropped when he looked like a complete spud, then came back with a better technique after working hard and became one of, if not the best, batsman in the world. The People love that. It's the sort of quality that people who grew up watching TOTAB appreciate, because it shows heart and a hunger to succeed. That's why he's The People's Champion. Herath on the other hand, I love him. Quality bloke. But his disposition shows he's obviously just very hungry, very often. He isn't The People's Champion. He's The Fat ****'s champion, and good on him. I can't think of anyone more worthy of the title TFCC. It sits well with him.

Likewise, when people call de Villiers "AB". Ridiculous. He pops in 15-20 odd years after TOTAB finishes his career, and this moniker just gets dropped on him and people accept it. What's worse, he is happy to run with it, and he knows deep down in his tiny little heart that he's not worthy of it, that he's just a pale imitation of the great man. Then people want to argue the toss over who the "real" AB is. Appalling. There is but one.

I find this sort of thing is happening all the time, and it is annoying. Just this morning I fielded a call from a potential client who started off saying she had an issue with a hospital not treating her properly. Seemed reasonable. Next thing she was accusing them of stealing medical reports from her bag while she was there, but leaving her x rays behind, and that was part of her being "reprogrammed". Being the sensitive soul I am, I dismissed her concerns out of hand as laughable, as I do with the blow-ins on here who think ascribing previously assigned nicknames to others is funny. She told me "I don't know why I bothered to be risen and save people". At this point the conversation got interesting, so I thought I'd explore the matter further, just as I humour the Trogs here who think it's funny to copy a nickname and give it to someone else a few years later because they lack the intellect to think of something for themselves.

So I asked her if she thought she had risen from the dead. She said yes. I then asked her if she thought she rose from the dead in order to save people. She said yes, which made sense because why else would you rise from the dead unless you were going to do something pretty substantial?

Next I asked her the big question: Did she think she was Jesus Christ? She said "No, I'm not Jesus Christ, I'm Allan Border, The One True AB".* At that point I knew she was bat **** crazy so I terminated the call.

I think it's important that people on here, and indeed in the wider cricketing fraternity and society in general, respect the origins and traditions of the nicknames bestowed upon players, officials and even supporters. That's why it's hard to change your username on here, and so it should be. If, for example, weldone changed his username, he can't just expect people to change straight away and not still refer to him as "Oh ****ing hell, that **** weldone has posted again". Respect the traditions of the game and the forum ffs.

I've no problem with Fatty Herath getting any one of a million positive nicknames, Same with de Villiers. But just come up with something like Herath himself - something with a lot of substance. This whole "Oh, I'll call this bloke X even though that nickname is taken and haw haw haw isn't it funny to post about the nickname which I've stolen from its true owner to try and aggravate other people" stuff is ****. What's more, it's disrespectful. It's the online forum and cricketing equivalent of Terra Nullius, and we all know what the High Court and Midnight Oil had to say about that.

Think about it. Be imaginative. Think for yourselves ffs.


*This story is actually true btw, except for the part about Allan Border.

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Shady Slim said:

smith's being a huge **** over the last twelve months should strip him from being the people's anything aside from maybe least favourite of the test captains

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Burgey said:

Again, you miss the point. The point is it's not for you or anyone else to decide to remove the title and/ or bestow it on someone else. That's for me to do because I gave him the nickname, and it's stuck.

Jesus Christ man, haven't you ever played team sport?

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Daemon said:

4/10 rant based on your usual high standards

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Burgey said:

It's not a rant tbf. I'm just trying to educate people about the importance of nickname etiquette.

If someone rocked up to my cricket club and began referring to a new player by my nickname or that of another team member, they'd be taken to the dressing room and beaten up, and so they should be. It's just not done. You have to earn your nickname, and it can't be the same as one who's gone before or who mixes within the same cadre. FMD imagine if Allan Donald had been called "The Don". There'd have been hell to pay, and rightly so. It doesn't mean Allan Donald isn't a good bloke or wasn't a fine player, he seems to be a good fella and sure could bowl. It's just you have to respect the nickname.

Obviously, if your nickname is simply your name with a y, ie or o at the end of it, then slightly different rules apply. So, for example, Burgeinho gets Burgeinho in our senior side or within our Club, because at that level I am Burgey. But in his junior rep side he is Burgey. Likewise, when my grandfather was alive, he was Burgey (or God), and I had other nicknames in his presence. It's the way of actual name-based nicknames. As another example, we had a bloke whose nickname is Macca or Mac. Now, if VicOrthdox came to play in our side (we should be so lucky) he would clearly be a better player than the existing Mac, but the Laws Of Nicknaming mean he couldn't be Macca or Mac until the first Macca retired. Vic would understand this and respect it, because he knows cricket and he knows nicknames.

I don't expect everyone to understand these rules, but those who have played in cricket sides over longish periods will and I have no doubt will back me up. And fwiw I do get frustrated at the heathen swine who don't see things this way, because these laws are immutable to cricketers and indeed to all players of team sports everywhere. There are three blokes int eh North Qld Cowboys with the initials J.T. But everyone knows there's only one JT in theat club and in the NRL, and that's Jonathon Thurston. If there's a bloke in the AFL or A League who has the same nickname, that's ok, but not in the same team, club or sport ffs.

It's just not on.

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Burgey said:

I have to say it genuinely saddens me that I have to explain these things to so called cricket fans, players and tragics. I suppose it just goes to show one shouldn't take for granted one's own societal, sporting and cultural norms.

Or indeed common decency.

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Burgey said:

And in before predictable, ennui-filled, pithy Howe comment upon his waking up this morning.

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Adders said:

Blimey........guess I got told LOL.

I knew the Aussies were into nicknames, much more so than us Brits, but **** me backwards I had no idea it was so regimented. There is Nickname etiquette......seriously?? And such strict rules of inheritance too.......it's like the Royal Family, cept it's a bloody nickname.

Burgey, you know I love you man so I truly am sorry that I have disrespected the code, had I have been aware of said code I never would have dreamt of doing so. I also had no idea that you bestowed the title of TPC on Steve Smith (was this done at a formal ceremony btw?? I am picturing you standing in front of a young Steve down on one knee while you touch both his shoulders with a cricket bat........."arise The Peoples Champ"!!)

But if I may be so bold and with all due respect......maybe you could have given a little more thought to the name?? See, mine and a few others issue with The Peoples Champ moniker for Steve Smith, is that he's not really a champion of the people (just quietly a lot of "The people" don't like him much and think he's a little bit of a knob and cannot recognise him as their Champ) I just think that "The People" should encompass more than a half a dozen forumers.

TPC is indeed a grand nickname and should not have been bestowed lightly, it is only worthy of a true Champion of the people.......a global hero if you like, who all "The People" can get on board with. I think if you search your feelings you will agree that there is only one possible worthy candidate in World cricket today.

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Burgey said:

No, I don't dislike Adders at all. This is an outrageous slur.

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Adders said:

He was talking about Brah...........who really does dislike me a lot.

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Daemon said:

That's only because you dislike Adders though

Only thing it reeks of is a dislike for Australian cricket

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Adders said:

He was talking about Brah...........who really does dislike me a lot.

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