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Thread: Gay Marriage: Revisited

  1. #16
    International Coach StephenZA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephen View Post
    Marriage done right is:
    Frequent ***
    Having someone on your side most of the time
    Having someone to have private jokes with that only you two get
    A foundation of concrete to build the rest of your life on.
    For me this is a committed solid relationship not necessarily just marriage......

    I look at the institution of marriage largely from a legal perspective. The romanticised nature of marriage is great and can show a commitment but is not necessary in of itself. Each to their own really; And restricting anybody from a legal/social contract based on their sexual orientation is just arbitrarily stupid.
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  2. #17
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephenZA View Post
    For me this is a committed solid relationship not necessarily just marriage......

    I look at the institution of marriage largely from a legal perspective. The romanticised nature of marriage is great and can show a commitment but is not necessary in of itself. Each to their own really; And restricting anybody from a legal/social contract based on their sexual orientation is just arbitrarily stupid.
    Yes, my thoughts exactly.

    The same logic applies to matters of parentage as well imo. You often (though not as much as you used to) hear people saying how it is important, or basically a necessity, for children to have parents who are married to each other, which is total bollocks.

    The argument that they should have more than one parent, yeah sure, I can get on board with that. But the idea that children are necessarily better off when their parents are married to one another is just plain wrong.

  3. #18
    International Coach StephenZA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sledger View Post
    Yes, my thoughts exactly.

    The same logic applies to matters of parentage as well imo. You often (though not as much as you used to) hear people saying how it is important, or basically a necessity, for children to have parents who are married to each other, which is total bollocks.

    The argument that they should have more than one parent, yeah sure, I can get on board with that. But the idea that children are necessarily better off when their parents are married to one another is just plain wrong.
    What children (and just people in general) need is a stable family household. Yes, having 2 loving parents is great. But having a single parent with a solid family support structure can be just as great for the child.

    Life is messy and not everybody and every family fits or even should have to fit into a supposed ideal box.
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  4. #19
    Cricketer Of The Year Ausage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephenZA View Post
    For me this is a committed solid relationship not necessarily just marriage......
    I agree broadly, but at the same time I'd say for me that marriage markedly improved a relationship that was already going very well. Most of the fundamentals didn't change, but it was a great day. We made a verbal, public lifetime commitment to each other, had a great party, brought our favorite people in the world together under one roof. We then refered to each other with titles that reflect that commitment (husband/wife). I agree it's far from everything and certainly not a panacea to a broken relationship, but it's not nothing either.
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  5. #20
    International Coach stephen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ausage View Post
    I agree broadly, but at the same time I'd say for me that marriage markedly improved a relationship that was already going very well. Most of the fundamentals didn't change, but it was a great day. We made a verbal, public lifetime commitment to each other, had a great party, brought our favorite people in the world together under one roof. We then refered to each other with titles that reflect that commitment (husband/wife). I agree it's far from everything and certainly not a panacea to a broken relationship, but it's not nothing either.
    This.

    Marriage takes a good relationship and makes it great.

    If the relationship isn't going well marriage will not make it good.

  6. #21
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephen View Post
    This.

    Marriage takes a good relationship and makes it great.

    If the relationship isn't going well marriage will not make it good.
    Then how is marriage the "foundation of society"?

  7. #22
    International Coach StephenZA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ausage View Post
    I agree broadly, but at the same time I'd say for me that marriage markedly improved a relationship that was already going very well. Most of the fundamentals didn't change, but it was a great day. We made a verbal, public lifetime commitment to each other, had a great party, brought our favorite people in the world together under one roof. We then refered to each other with titles that reflect that commitment (husband/wife). I agree it's far from everything and certainly not a panacea to a broken relationship, but it's not nothing either.
    Quote Originally Posted by stephen View Post
    This.

    Marriage takes a good relationship and makes it great.

    If the relationship isn't going well marriage will not make it good.
    Marriage is one of many forms of commitment that can make a good relationship great.... there are other forms as well that does not require getting married. I understand the romanticised nature of marriage and the couples wanting to show their commitment in public, hence the reason people who could not get married due to there sexual orientation wanting laws changed and acceptance. But marriage in itself is purely a construct that may not help or be wanted by all committed couples and there is nothing wrong with that and they should treated with the same respect as married couples. Married couples are not any better or worse than any other couple who are in a long term committed relationship.

  8. #23
    BARNES OUT dontcloseyoureyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephen View Post
    The thing is the marriage done right is absolutely the foundation of society.
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  9. #24
    International Coach stephen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sledger View Post
    Then how is marriage the "foundation of society"?
    Marriage is the core framework for a family. It allows for the confidence to start a family and the structure for a successful family.

    Studies have shown that married people tend to be more successful, have higher wages and accomplish more than unmarried people.

    Unmarried people (including divorcees) are great - many of my friends still haven't found their partner, or have had an unsuccessful marriage. But one always gets the feeling that they're waiting for something.

    There's a reason marriage had been around as long as society itself.

  10. #25
    cpr
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    A quick reread of page one of that is a nice reminder of how awful Benchmark could be
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  11. #26
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    Oh ****, I got to page two and Ikki showed up.

    Why did we revisit this topic?

  12. #27
    vcs
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    Skimmed through some of the posts on there. Some dire stuff.
    Quote Originally Posted by benchmark00 View Post
    Chix love a man with a checkered posting history.

  13. #28
    Cricketer Of The Year Ausage's Avatar
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    He was a **** but I do miss ol Benchy.

  14. #29
    BARNES OUT dontcloseyoureyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephen View Post
    Marriage is the core framework for a family. It allows for the confidence to start a family and the structure for a successful family.

    Studies have shown that married people tend to be more successful, have higher wages and accomplish more than unmarried people.

    Unmarried people (including divorcees) are great - many of my friends still haven't found their partner, or have had an unsuccessful marriage. But one always gets the feeling that they're waiting for something.

    There's a reason marriage had been around as long as society itself.
    Yes I too am completely unbiased (and definitely mentally balanced) and agree that single people just aren't worth as much as married folk.
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  15. #30
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephen View Post
    Marriage is the core framework for a family. It allows for the confidence to start a family and the structure for a successful family.

    Studies have shown that married people tend to be more successful, have higher wages and accomplish more than unmarried people.

    Unmarried people (including divorcees) are great - many of my friends still haven't found their partner, or have had an unsuccessful marriage. But one always gets the feeling that they're waiting for something.

    There's a reason marriage had been around as long as society itself.
    Hmmm. One does, eh?
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