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Thread: Is forgiving others a sign of being weak?

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    State Vice-Captain Kirkut's Avatar
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    Is forgiving others a sign of being weak?

    There is this person I know, we were friends few years ago. He would not respect my personal boundaries and would be too domineering in behaviour, this gradually led to me ending the friendship. Few years later, he adds me on facebook, linkedin and also asks for my number. I do not hold grudges for too long and accepted the requests, even gave him my number for the sake of being professional (I still didn't consider him to be a friend), and he still behaved like an asshole after so many years which led me to block him.

    Forgiving others comes to me naturally, while this character trait is lauded in the books the same cannot be said in the real world where very few understand and appreciate this trait. I sometimes feel like a doormat and would rather choose to be a jerk even if it feels unnatural.
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    State Vice-Captain SillyCowCorner1's Avatar
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    Seems like even though you knew what you were stepping into, you still chose to on the part of being 'professional'.

    You should have established a red line for him.

    Forgiving comes when both parties are cognizant of what the situation is
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    Hall of Fame Member Shri's Avatar
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    Unless sexual favors are involved, kick the **** out.
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    International 12th Man Victor Ian's Avatar
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    Forgiving is not the same as cowering. Only the strong can forgive. That does not mean you have to take crap. It just means you are always ready to give the Crapper a chance to redeem themselves. For them to take that chance means that they must change.
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    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend OverratedSanity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirkut View Post
    There is this person I know, we were friends few years ago. He would not respect my personal boundaries and would be too domineering in behaviour, this gradually led to me ending the friendship. Few years later, he adds me on facebook, linkedin and also asks for my number. I do not hold grudges for too long and accepted the requests, even gave him my number for the sake of being professional (I still didn't consider him to be a friend), and he still behaved like an asshole after so many years which led me to block him.

    Forgiving others comes to me naturally, while this character trait is lauded in the books the same cannot be said in the real world where very few understand and appreciate this trait. I sometimes feel like a doormat and would rather choose to be a jerk even if it feels unnatural.
    Forgive him for what? If it's some specific incident where he was a **** to you, then sure. But if he's just a massive **** in general and you don't like him (which it seems like from your post) then just ignore him. Have no idea why anyone would want to maintain a friendship with someone you don't even like. Seems rather counter productive.
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    International Regular vogue's Avatar
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    Short answer is no it's a sign of strength not weakness on your part, you haven't condoned their ****** behaviour by forgiving it.
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    Global Moderator Spark's Avatar
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    Forgiving is more a decision about yourself than about the other guy IMO. It doesn't behold you to anything behaviour wise, it just means you're less bitter about it.
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    Only the weak and egotists succumb to forgiveness.
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    saw the title and thought this was cricsim pub for a moment
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    saw the title and thought this was cricsim pub for a moment
    more posh words here still, otherwise not much difference these days
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spark View Post
    Forgiving is more a decision about yourself than about the other guy IMO. It doesn't behold you to anything behaviour wise, it just means you're less bitter about it.
    Not necessarily true imo. If you're in a leadership position and communicating this sort of forgiveness all the time, people will walk all over you. And then it no longer becomes about yourself.

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    Cricket Web Staff Member Scarlett's Avatar
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    I would really think it depends on the severity and the nature of the incidents to say well this is forgivable and this isn’t, without knowing that information it’s very difficult to gage. Certainly looking at the description the friend is taking advantage of a good nature, so definitely get rid.
    Suppose weakness would be more putting up with it and not doing anything at all.
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    Cricket Web Staff Member Howe_zat's Avatar
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    Forgiveness is about giving people another chance, not letting them be a dick to you.

    It sounds like you just don't get on
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    Being rude to polite people, and being polite to rude people - are both unfair behaviors.

    The first one is unfair to the other person; the second one is unfair to your own dignity and self-esteem.
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