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Thread: Girls/Guys only holidays

  1. #1
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    Girls/Guys only holidays

    I have a dilemma and have returned to the oracle, the font of morality of cricketweb to express myself to see if I can find solace in the opinions of some people I've never met.

    Way back I've been annoyed at my male friends planning a holiday, and inviting me but not my girlfriend. I've heard things like, "She'll ruin the atmosphere", "We just want it to be the guys", and I've been so irate at this tirade against my girlfriend's mere presence that I ended up not going myself.

    Now it's not like she is a social non-entity, or a moodkiller. My friends constantly express how great she is, and can we come over for dinner, drinks, etc. But head to warmer climes and it seems the rules change.

    Now the only reason I could think for a bunch of guys not wanting their girls to be around for such an extended period, is so we can all go out in the evening and have sex with other girls without getting caught. If they want to be away from their girls that much, and yes that's obviously what people want from time to time (and what's wrong with a weekend of golf or cricket for that?), then I question why they are with them in the first place.

    Last night the boot was on the other foot. After offering to drive my partner's friends (all female) to Germany so we can go mountain biking, now it turns out I'm not welcome. "He'll change the atmosphere." These are people who haven't even met me as I've been living in a different country. I thought it would be a good opportunity to get to know everyone and now they would rather pay double and take the train than have the dangers of a male presence around. Perhaps they want their menstrual cycles to link up so they can talk about what a dick I was for having the audacity to live near my girlfriend.

    What are the rules here? I'm not a needy guy, I appreciate people need time apart. I get hen and stag parties and the like, just don't know why it's in fashion for people to essentially ban significant others on such a frequent basis when you're planning to relax in a foreign country.
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  2. #2
    International Vice-Captain zorax's Avatar
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    Bro trips are legit, and don't involve being unfaithful in any way.

    It's just a group of guys talking about stuff, doing things, and behaving in ways that they can't if females are present.

  3. #3
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    I agree, I guess I'm just bummed having my atmosphere questioned.

    In retaliation I've banned her friends from my car, as I don't want the vibe killed.

    I'm turning into one of them.

    They are well within their rights to have a girls only trip, naturally. But I just wish they would say it rather than, invite me a long and come up with some hog about my personality.

    I think in the past I've been fortunate enough to have many female friends who are tomboys who don't really care how you behave. I think this has clouded my perception of what the girly girl wants. We've had trips in the past where it's been like having the guys over, because they don't give a ****, and neither do you.
    Last edited by Langeveldt; 26-06-2015 at 02:35 AM.

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    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Depends on the nature of the people involved I suppose. It often seems to me, however, that the people who go on all male trips tend to be the sort of people who describe themselves as "lads". And I invariably tend to find such people to be extremely dire.
    Last edited by sledger; 26-06-2015 at 03:06 AM.
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    International Debutant Stapel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Langeveldt View Post
    Now the only reason I could think for a bunch of guys not wanting their girls to be around for such an extended period, is so we can all go out in the evening and have sex with other girls without getting caught.
    The solution for your dilemma is easily found, once you discover there are other reasons than having sex with other girls for hanging out with the boys.
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    Cricket Web Staff Member Howe_zat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Langeveldt View Post
    Way back I've been annoyed at my male friends planning a holiday, and inviting me but not my girlfriend.
    yeah how dare people invite you to things

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    International Vice-Captain harsh.ag's Avatar
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    It's essentially about indulgence Lange, not cheating.
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  8. #8
    International Coach social's Avatar
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    My wife & I regularly take holidays apart and have done so since we started dating nearly 20 years ago

    It's not about extra-curricular sex, it's about "space" and most people need it from time to time

    Having said that, if I offered to drive her & her friends to whatever place they had chosen for their holiday, I can 100% guarantee that they would jump at it and think all the better of me for doing so

    If nothing else, it is about respect/love and whilst I have never walked in your shoes, I'd be having a serious chat to her about what's more important

  9. #9
    Cricketer Of The Year hendrix's Avatar
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    I completely agree with you, tbh. Boys only trips are boring, I'd much rather take girls (girlfriends, friends, hook-ups, whatever) along.
    There's only so much guy talk one can handle.

    But yeah, you're not really in a position to complain. You'd hope your girlfriend thinks the same way but if not, just deal with it.

  10. #10
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Uppercut's Avatar
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    I don't really agree with you, I think it's entirely fair to want a holiday with just guy/girl friends sometimes. There are plenty of legitimate reasons why someone might want that and I would get quite annoyed if someone got pissy with me over it, or accused me of just wanting to cheat and get away with it.
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  11. #11
    Cricketer Of The Year hendrix's Avatar
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    It's not that you just want to go on holiday with your friends that I don't get, it's just that people don't have friends of the opposite sex that I don't understand....

    With that said I'm going on a "boys trip" in a couple of weekends. Dunno why the organisers have planned it as such but as soon as we get to the city in which it's help I'll be doing my best to make sure girls become involved.

  12. #12
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Furball's Avatar
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    Mixed holidays are dire. Did it when I was 19, the girls just ended up getting blind drunk to the point where they had to be taken back to the apartments and looked after.
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    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Does anyone on here really actively and intentionally treat their friends differently based on their sex? I find it somewhat somewhat surprising if so.

    I mean, I may subconciously treat my female friends differently I suppose, but I can't really think of an occasion on which I would do it deliberately. Can't think why I would ever actively want to specify "this is man time, no girls allowed, ggrrrrr" either.
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  14. #14
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Uppercut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sledger View Post
    Does anyone on here really actively and intentionally treat their friends differently based on their sex? I find it somewhat somewhat surprising if so.

    I mean, I may subconciously treat my female friends differently I suppose, but I can't really think of an occasion on which I would do it deliberately. Can't think why I would ever actively want to specify "this is man time, no girls allowed, ggrrrrr" either.
    Yeah I'd treat my girlfriend a lot differently if she was a dude.

    EDIT: In all seriousness I think this is purely theoretical. If you have a group of friends who you only talk about wrestling with then you probably don't want to bring your new gf to a meetup. If she loves wrestling too then fine, but that's highly unlikely in practice.
    Last edited by Uppercut; 28-06-2015 at 12:34 PM.
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  15. #15
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uppercut View Post
    Yeah I'd treat my girlfriend a lot differently if she was a dude.

    EDIT: In all seriousness I think this is purely theoretical. If you have a group of friends who you only talk about wrestling with then you probably don't want to bring your new gf to a meetup. If she loves wrestling too then fine, but that's highly unlikely in practice.
    Is it?

    In any case, I think it's understandable to treat your partner different. But the idea of treating people who are "just friends" on the basis of their gender is a bit odd to me. I tend to group friends on the basis of interests and outlooks, and treat them differently on this basis. As you say, someone who has no interest in wrestling would probably not welcome being invited to some wrestling-related event. But when making an assessment over whether they'd like to be invited or would fit in or whatever, I'd ask myself "does person X like wrestling?", sooner than asking "what is the gender or person X"?

    All this might be hypothetical, like you say. But I just don't think I'm really able grasping the concept of wanting male only events. Am more interested in having "people I get on well with only events".
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