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Thread: I made up a joke.

  1. #31
    Hall of Fame Member Jamee999's Avatar
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    nO, IT WAS WORSE
    Or something.

    RIP Fardin Qayyumi (AKA "cricket player"; "Bob"), 1/11/1990 - 15/4/2006

  2. #32
    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    this might be an old one, but it is funny

    Duncan Fletcher, clearly upset about Englands play, decides to find out from John Buchanan what his secret is. So, Duncan travels down to an Aussie practice and asks Buchanan, "Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret?" Buchanan responds by calling Gilchrist over. "Gilly, who's your father's brother's nephew?"
    He answers, "Why coach, that's easy. It's me." Buchanan turns to Fletcher and says, "That's the secret Dunc. A smart wicketkeeper. You've got to have a smart wicketkeeper."

    Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Fletcher returns to England and the England teams workout. He promptly calls over Chris Read.

    "Chris! Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Chris looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, "Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one?" Fletcher(disgusted) says, "OK."

    During practice, Chris Read calls over Mark Butcher. "Mark, Duncan just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew?"

    Butcher: "Duh! That's easy. It's me!" After practice, Chris Read catches up with Fletcher: "Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Mark Butcher."

    Fletcher (angry): "No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Adam Gilchrist!!!"
    rave down, hit the ground


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  3. #33
    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    What do you call it when the England team wear Green and Gold?


    Atrificial Intelligence.

  4. #34
    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    Q: Did you hear about the fire at the Yorkshire CCC library facilities?
    A: Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet.


  5. #35
    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    A man won the lottery and won about £140 million. He had three sons. He told his sons that he had won the lottery, that he now had a lot of money, and he would like to know what each one of them would like to have. Money was no object... The first one said that he had always wanted a Jaguar. The father went out and, since money was no object, bought him seven Jaguars in different colours so that he would have a different one to drive every day of the week.

    The second sone said that he had always wanted a motorcycle, so the father went out and, since money was no object, bought him 30 new motorcycles, 15 dirt bikes and 15 touring bikes, so he would have different bikes to drive every day of the month.

    The third and youngest son, being only eight years old, said that he had always wanted a Mickey Mouse outfit. So, money being no object, his father went out and bought his son the England cricket team!!!!

  6. #36
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Swervy
    this might be an old one, but it is funny

    Duncan Fletcher, clearly upset about Englands play, decides to find out from John Buchanan what his secret is. So, Duncan travels down to an Aussie practice and asks Buchanan, "Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret?" Buchanan responds by calling Gilchrist over. "Gilly, who's your father's brother's nephew?"
    He answers, "Why coach, that's easy. It's me." Buchanan turns to Fletcher and says, "That's the secret Dunc. A smart wicketkeeper. You've got to have a smart wicketkeeper."

    Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Fletcher returns to England and the England teams workout. He promptly calls over Chris Read.

    "Chris! Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Chris looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, "Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one?" Fletcher(disgusted) says, "OK."

    During practice, Chris Read calls over Mark Butcher. "Mark, Duncan just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew?"

    Butcher: "Duh! That's easy. It's me!" After practice, Chris Read catches up with Fletcher: "Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Mark Butcher."

    Fletcher (angry): "No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Adam Gilchrist!!!"
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    Is the conduct approved by the gods right ("pious"), because of properties of its own, or merely because it pleases the gods to value or command it?

  7. #37
    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    An Aussie in a bar leaned to the guy next to him and said, "Wanna hear a joke about the Barmy army?"

    The guy next to him replied, "Well before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm six feet tall and 17st , and I'm a memeber of the Barmy Army. The guy sitting next to me is six-two, 18st , and he's in the barmy Army, and the guy sitting next to him is six-five, 20 stone , and he's in the barmy Army as well. Now, do you still wanna tell that joke?"

    The Aussie said, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

  8. #38
    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    Why doesnt Cumbria have a professional cricket team?

    Coz Yorkshire would want one too

  9. #39
    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    A Aussie fan and a Barmy Army member go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!
    The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

    As they're driving home they're really depressed. The Aussie turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

    Barmy Army Boy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

  10. #40
    Cricket Web XI Moderator lord_of_darkness's Avatar
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    LOL

    the best jokes are the rude ones i reckon..
    Don L-o-d , Legion Of Doom

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  11. #41
    State Vice-Captain Armadillo's Avatar
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    One day in New York a young Indian immigrant went to the boss of a big trading company and asked for a job. The boss liked the man and hired him immediately.

    The first day at his new job was rough but he got through it. At the end of the day the boss came to him and he asked, "How many sales did you make today boy?" The man answered with,
    "Just one sir." "Just one?" replied the man"Boy you have to realise that if you want to keep this job you will have to make many more sales than one in one day. How much was your sale.
    "$60,000" the man said. "$60,000 what on earth did you sell!"
    "Well there was this man who was going camping, so I bought him a tent, then he needed something to support the tent, so I bought him some poles, then I thought he might need some food so I bought him some food, then I thought he might need some transport on that rough terrain, so I bought him a Land Rover.
    The boss was amazed "So a man just came and told you he wanted to go camping and you bought him all this stuff"
    "No" the man replied. "Then what happened" exclaimed the boss.
    "Well, he came asking me if I sold tampons, I said, you're f@!$%£
    why don't you go camping.
    Member of LSU (bowl part time pies)

    RIP Fardin

  12. #42
    PY
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    What kind of cheese is made backwards?

    Answer
    A True Champion - Bob. Rest in peace. 15/04/06
    "People today have too big a devil and too small a God"

    - Stephen Currie

    "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

  13. #43
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    Originally posted by PY
    What kind of cheese is made backwards?

    Answer




    Hohohohohoho :frog::frog::frog::frog::frog::frog::frog::frog:
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