Conversations

[Hurricane]

Haha if a non scientific source disclaimer has to always accompany any posts directed at me, that's pretty epic. I'd enjoy having that reputation.

Nah, I think the point I was saying is that often people try too hard in conversation where they are interested in the other party, and it's boring because people realize it and it makes you seem a lot less confident. The trick is to have a conversation that's flowing but where you're in control of the flow and direction, without making it seem like you're doing it. That's an art. Some people are just natural conversationalists where they can do that in all situations. Most people can do that in settings where they're completely comfortable (out with friends talking about the game), but most can't in a situation like a 'date' (or a job interview, or a presentation - a surprisingly similar set of skills are needed IMO) - or at least not as well. Some can naturally, which works out for them really nicely. Most of the rest of us have to work on it for a few years (e.g high school, maybe some college ) until we figure out how to behave in those situations. And being better at that will help you in all sorts of situations, not just in your romantic life.

And yes, I do find most people boring in conversations.
And I don't really know if other people find me boring, I never let them get enough words in to find out .

This has nothing to do with girl trouble so taking this here.

"And yes, I do find most people boring in conversations."

Again curious as to why. There are a couple of possibilities

a) you have a high IQ and rapidly tire of vapid comments. You do best in academic settings with other people with multiple degrees.

b) There is a communication style clash. Perhaps you didn't grow up in the states? or you grew up with a different upbringing. I grew up in NZ and when I did my mba in the states i found conversations with the US students a chore. Their objective in the conversation seemed to be to make sage concise comments where each word is measured and parsimoniously dished out as a morsel to be treasured. I personally want to have a good chin wag and would prefer colourful stories with huge embellishments and feel at home conversing in nz. Am just fishing with this reason.

c) You just aren't interested in other people's stories.

[silentstriker]

Jesus.

[Hurricane]

Jesus.

Haha

you don't have to answer - was just thinking about this on the train today.

[Dan]

Jesus.

Apparently he dislikes you (DCYE to confirm)

[silentstriker]

Well if we must do a public psychoanalysis of my conversation skills...

a) That statement (about finding everyone else boring) was meant to be a joke....
b) I clearly said that in company of friends and relaxed atmosphere, most people do just fine in conversations....the statement was about how a lot of people can get awkward when trying to talk during dates...and how you can improve there
c) I do tend to hang out with academia types more often than not, but I certainly don't find people outside academia to be boring (though I may find certain topics boring)
d) If I do find something boring, it's not cause I think I'm so much smarter than everyone else (I've said in the past that IQ tests are bunk anyway IMO)
e) You should see my 'debates' with Precambrian if you think I get tired of talking to people without multiple degrees...

[silentstriker]

Apparently he dislikes you.

The feeling's mutual.

EDIT: DCYE??

[Hurricane]

Well if we must do a public psychoanalysis of my conversation skills...

a) That statement (about finding everyone else boring) was meant to be a joke....
b) I clearly said that in company of friends and relaxed atmosphere, most people do just fine in conversations....the statement was about how a lot of people can get awkward when trying to talk during dates...and how you can improve there
c) I do tend to hang out with academia types more often than not, but I certainly don't find people outside academia to be boring (though I may find certain topics boring)
d) If I do find something boring, it's not cause I think I'm so much smarter than everyone else (I've said in the past that IQ tests are bunk anyway IMO)
e) You should see my 'debates' with Precambrian if you think I get tired of talking to people without multiple degrees...

Apologies for putting you under the spotlight - didn't realise it was a joke. My bad.

Cheers

[Maximas]

Not sure if this thread was purely for SS or not, but anyway, I think I'm pretty good with conversation (except groups, I never say anything in those). But I'm not always one to involve myself too deeply.

a. Given I'm still in school, the multiple degree stuff doesn't really apply, but the factionalism within student bodies means I don't talk to three quarters of the students in my year. But whenever I talk with those outside my clique, I can easily hold my own. The natural smart ego most people have also affects me, I often turn away from conversation if I feel that they wouldn't be able to engage in the sorts of things I would talk about.

b. Rather than conversation styles, I find settings to be a crucial factor, I can't talk at parties, but when me and some random are in a similar situation (maybe like a co-worker I've never worked with) then conversation is easy I find.

c. I'm generally very interested in other people's stories, I however have trouble telling my own and I constantly think my own life isn't interesting enough to constitute talking about myself.

Just my 2 cents...

[Dan]

The feeling's mutual.

EDIT: DCYE??

I was referring to this post:

ftr, I originally signed up to CW under the username 'jesusdislikesyou' but had my username forcibly changed by James to be the same as my email before I'd even made a post.

And then realised that, shorn of context, it sounds plainly offensive (and rather stupid). Hence the edit to try and show it was referring to something.

[Hurricane]

Not sure if this thread was purely for SS or not, but anyway, I think I'm pretty good with conversation (except groups, I never say anything in those). But I'm not always one to involve myself too deeply.

a. Given I'm still in school, the multiple degree stuff doesn't really apply, but the factionalism within student bodies means I don't talk to three quarters of the students in my year. But whenever I talk with those outside my clique, I can easily hold my own. The natural smart ego most people have also affects me, I often turn away from conversation if I feel that they wouldn't be able to engage in the sorts of things I would talk about.

b. Rather than conversation styles, I find settings to be a crucial factor, I can't talk at parties, but when me and some random are in a similar situation (maybe like a co-worker I've never worked with) then conversation is easy I find.

c. I'm generally very interested in other people's stories, I however have trouble telling my own and I constantly think my own life isn't interesting enough to constitute talking about myself.

Just my 2 cents...

I was hoping it would start with some questions to SS and evolve into a free for all about conversations.

"I think I'm pretty good with conversation (except groups, I never say anything in those)"

I find groups easier because then you only need to chip in when you have something funny to say. Sometimes it is hard to get your piece in though to if everyone else wants to get in there.

[Maximas]

I was hoping it would start with some questions to SS and evolve into a free for all about conversations.

"I think I'm pretty good with conversation (except groups, I never say anything in those)"

I find groups easier because then you only need to chip in when you have something funny to say. Sometimes it is hard to get your piece in though to if everyone else wants to get in there.

Group conversations just spiral out of control for me, and they evolve into things I can no longer contribute to, they are glorious while on topic though, anything more than of group of 5 generally means I'm redundant.

[Hurricane]

Group conversations just spiral out of control for me, and they evolve into things I can no longer contribute to, they are glorious while on topic though, anything more than of group of 5 generally means I'm redundant.

Groups of 10 or so are pretty tough. Usually only the extroverted go for it.

[Flem274*]

This is the most socially awkward thread I have ever read.

[dontcloseyoureyes]

This is the most socially awkward thread I have ever read.

You should re-acquaint yourself with Cribb's early threads.

[Hurricane]

This is the most socially awkward thread I have ever read.

a) ouch
b) I already apologized
c) You have had your moments http://www.cricketweb.net/forum/off-...-forum-version.