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Thread: oh no, should I be worried???

  1. #1
    International Captain nibbs's Avatar
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    oh no, should I be worried???

    Well before I was enjoying a bowl of Orange Chocalate Chip Ice Cream. Without much doubt, the yummiest ice cream in the world. I like to eat ice cream with tea spoons, not table spoons. This means you can get as much ice cream on the spoon, and often it is prone to falling off the spoon.

    Anyhow 2 days earlier I was wiping my table tennis table down with janola aka bleach. I had a fogotten this while eatting my ice cream while hovering above the table. Anyhow somewhere along the line some ice cream fell of my spoon. I looked down cursed, but then scooped it up and ate it.

    A moment later it dawned on me that a might have eaten Jinola. Should I be worried or what???
    "Matt Damon"

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    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Don't worry.

    The N/10 hydrochloric acid in your stomach will have no problem in neutralising the bleach.

    Eat the rest of the ice cream to make sure.

    And come clean - the reason I use a teaspoon for ice cream, chocolate fudge cake and Jamaica ginger cake and custard (tonight's pud) is purely to make it last longer. So do you really.
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    Cricketer Of The Year Blewy's Avatar
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    Damn Eddie you could have really had him packing them there...

    would have been quite humourous...

    :P :P :P :P

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    International Captain nibbs's Avatar
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    Originally posted by luckyeddie

    And come clean - the reason I use a teaspoon for ice cream, chocolate fudge cake and Jamaica ginger cake and custard (tonight's pud) is purely to make it last longer. So do you really.
    Yes, thats exactly right :O . But the real question is, why do you buy cheese that has holes in it? Well?

    And as for Blewy, just you wait you smart arse Austraaalian


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    Cricket Web XI Moderator lord_of_darkness's Avatar
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    Orange
    the rest sounds nice after that .. but ORANGE?? yuck!!!
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    Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Neil Pickup's Avatar
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    Originally posted by lord_of_darkness
    the rest sounds nice after that .. but ORANGE?? yuck!!!
    It works, trust me!
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    International Captain nibbs's Avatar
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    Originally posted by lord_of_darkness
    the rest sounds nice after that .. but ORANGE?? yuck!!!
    Its firkin nice. By far the yummiest, most awesomest ice cream out there. You'll find it with all the tip top ice creams.

    "do try it"

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    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Blewy
    Damn Eddie you could have really had him packing them there...

    would have been quite humourous...

    :P :P :P :P
    <quack> LE was just being kind - and under the circumstances I applaud him for it. Just between you and me (and all the other CW members except Nibblet - we don't have to worry about him any more anyway), as soon as he had taken an additional mouthful of ice-cream, he was doomed.

    You see, Janola bleach is highly toxic, although the effects take a day or two to manifest themselves. It is not fatal in all cases, though, although once it comes into contact with painted surfaces its toxicity increases exponentially.

    The reason 'lead' paint was taken off the market was not due to the toxicity of lead itself - in order to give the paint a 'sheen', it was always treated with a 'secret' bleaching formulation which originated in, er, New Zealand, I think it was. The residue remained - and so did the toxic effects, only they increase with time.

    It's a little like the venom from certain spiders and the pit viper (sometimes called the rattlesnake) - once it comes into contact with flesh, it starts to 'digest' it.

    Death is almost certain - and follows a short period of anxiety followed by acute abdominal pains.

    The only known cure is copious quantities of ice-cream (orange flavoured is perfect for this - the citric acid will almost immediately negate the alkali of the bleach).

    The critical factor is the amount of ice-cream ingested at one gulp. A teaspoon provides slightly less than half the required amount. A dessert spoon is ideal (although a tablespoon would be better).

    If the quantity (of ice-cream) taken is too small (a teaspoon is definitely the worst amount) enzymes within the gut will combine with the citric acid. This, when attacked by the bacteria present, will actually enhance the effects of the bleach approximately 100fold.

    Chronic Janolacosis thankfully shortens the period when the body is racked by agonising cramps, but one side-effect is that it does increase the duration and strength of the anxiety period.

  9. #9
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Mr Mxyzptlk's Avatar
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    This is true Nibblet. If I were you I would seek medical (and psychological) evaluation immediately.
    Sreesanth said, "Next ball he was beaten and I said, 'is this the King Charles Lara? Who is this impostor, moving around nervously? I should have kept my mouth shut for the next ball - mind you, it was a length ball - Lara just pulled it over the church beyond the boundary! He is a true legend."


  10. #10
    International Captain nibbs's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Mr Mxyzptlk
    This is true Nibblet. If I were you I would seek medical (and psychological) evaluation immediately.
    well, the service had two days to dry and at the moment I feel fine. So as far as I'm concerned there's no need to cool to doctor.

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    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Originally posted by nibblet
    well, the service had two days to dry and at the moment I feel fine. So as far as I'm concerned there's no need to cool to doctor.
    TWO DAYS??? That's even worse. You will not get Janolacosis but Janolaconiosis - far, far worse and agonising.

    The first symptom to look out for is the use of occasional wrong words when typing

  12. #12
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Mr Mxyzptlk's Avatar
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    Originally posted by nibblet
    well, the service had two days to dry and at the moment I feel fine. So as far as I'm concerned there's no need to cool to doctor.
    You're really better off ignoring such comments from a person whose MSN name was 'Sarcasm is engrained in my DNA'.

    All jokes aside (or were they jokes? *dum de dum dum*), you should live (barely). I wouldn't advise drinking a whole bottle of the stuff though (unless your Simon, in which case you'd probably live anyway - tough liver).

  13. #13
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    orange choc chip - my all time fav ice cream, followed by Jaffa, mocca & the likes & not to forget the great kiwi standard - hokey pokey!!!!!

    thank god a NZ Ice Cream outlet opened up here as I find Australian ice creams bland in comparison to those from home - cream content or some such...

    even managed to 'convert' the missus & the kids.......



  14. #14
    Cricket Web XI Moderator lord_of_darkness's Avatar
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    It works, trust me!
    nah mate i reckon somthing like caramel or dark chocolate would have workd better !

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    International Debutant Kimbo's Avatar
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    I dont like orange chocolates - like jaffas.. but theres something about orange chocolate chip icecream. its a great flavour.

    Its like when you think about it, chocolate cake should be best, but its not, banana cake is the most popular! (with people i know anyway).

    goody goody gum drops has the yummiest sweets! i dont know why, its always fun getting the sweets. I always eat round them so i have em all at the end!
    life's a gift thats why they call it the present

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