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Thread: Mid Life Crisis - The Forum Version

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    Request Your Custom Title Now! Flem274*'s Avatar
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    Mid Life Crisis - The Forum Version

    I had a revelation.

    I'm a mediocre poster.

    This may come as a shock to many of you. I know the name "Flem274*" and it's many variations are revered across the forum world. Never before has a poster been so parochial, so knee jerk, so attention seeking, and never has a poster incensed a current first class cricketer so much they signed up just to tell me what a **** I am. Twice.

    But I must tell the truth. Much like Daniel Flynn, I look the part and I try hard but I'm not actually very good. Unlike Daniel Flynn, I still have all of my teeth, which is more than our English population can boast.

    I'm not as knowledgable as vic_orthdox or Top Cat. My one liners have nothing on Spikey, Heath or Sledger. I'm not as modly as Pickup or Spark, nor as insane and wacko as Richard, or as nerdy as Silentstriker, and I don't have a "gay little clique" (Prince CHEWS, 2012) to have really good sex with like our er, gay little clique. ****, half the time everyone thinks I'm this ****.

    CricketWeb, I need your help. Despite your pathetic success record for helping people succeed in life (seriously Girl Trouble crowd, put Ed out of his misery already), you are my only hope. The other forums I frequent have either too many bogan Australians or too many Americans. It's CW or a lifetime of forum mediocrity.

    I've tried being knowledgeable, I've tried being funny, I even tried being Richard. Nothing works. Now I know what you're thinking; "You're a moderator (somehow), just ban James or get yourself fired and go down in a blaze of glory. Not even Ginger Furball managed to get fired and he was terrible, and Scottish."

    Well, I tried banning James but apparently I'm not allowed to do that. Let me show you the message I get when I try to infract Prince EWS just now.

    Flem274*, you are not allowed to give warnings or infractions to Moderators.



    As for going down in a blaze of glory, well I don't have the bottle. Despite being told off for my lack of diplomacy weekly in the mod forum, I am unable to bring myself to get fired. I quite like knowing what happens on CW, because as it happens I am an insufferable know-it-all.

    I am suffering from what a certain Mr Burge would diagnose as Indian Inferiority Complex. I am sure I am not alone in this. I started this thread to make a safe place, where the afflicted can openly discuss their sickness without fear of scorn from the big shots.

    Cricketweb, help me overcome my mid life crisis.

    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    Jeets doesn't really deserve to be bowling.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    Well yeah Tendy is probably better than Bradman, but Bradman was 70 years ago, if he grew up in the modern era he'd still easily be the best. Though he wasn't, can understand the argument for Tendy even though I don't agree.
    Proudly supporting Central Districts
    RIP Craig Walsh

  2. #2
    Global Moderator Spark's Avatar
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    would read again, 7.2/10
    + time's fickle card game ~ with you and i +


    get ready for a broken ****in' arm

  3. #3
    Eternal Optimist / Cricket Web Staff Member GIMH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong View Post
    gimh has now surpassed richard as the greatest cw member ever imo

    RIP Craigos. A true CW legend. You will be missed.

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    Request Your Custom Title Now! Flem274*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spark View Post
    would read again, 7.2/10
    ^trying to be pratters

    its okay spark, I understand


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    Cricketer Of The Year Adamc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    I've tried being knowledgeable, I've tried being funny, I even tried being Richard
    You're not any of these things (mercifully, in the latter case). Just come to terms with your mediocrity and be done with it.
    "Under the spreading chestnut tree,
    I sold you and you sold me."

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    International Coach morgieb's Avatar
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    Well they say the first sign to solving something is admitting to having a problem.
    5-0

    RIP Craig Walsh (Craig) 1985-2012

    Proudly supporting the #2 cricketer of all time.

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    International Coach
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    Flem

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    International Vice-Captain Mike5181's Avatar
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    Can't believe you had a dig at Daniel Flynn. Shame on you.

    Athlai>Phlegm.

  9. #9
    Request Your Custom Title Now! benchmark00's Avatar
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    I'd say mediocre would be a compliment itbt.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jono View Post
    Kohli. Do something in test cricket for once please.

    Thanks.

  10. #10
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Flem274*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike5181 View Post
    Athlai>Phlegm.


    I am unstable, petty and deluded enough to think people care about infractions. Don't make me do it.

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    Global Moderator Spark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by benchmark00 View Post
    I'd say mediocre would be a compliment itbt.
    A valid and reasonable point.

  12. #12
    Cricketer Of The Year Agent Nationaux's Avatar
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    We need an intervention and Kyle Mills porn for Phlem.

    If it makes you feel any better I am also a dire poster.
    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby View Post
    Yeah, look, it gives me a pain deep inside my uterus to admit it, but it's Ajmal until such time as we get a working throwing law again.
    Never in a million years would I have thought Brumby to admit this!!!!!!

  13. #13
    International Coach G.I.Joe's Avatar
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    Chin up, Aflai.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    If GI 'Best Poster On The Forum' Joe says it then it must be true.
    Athlai doesn't lie. And he doesn't do sarcasm either, so you know it's true!

  14. #14
    Hall of Fame Member Howe_zat's Avatar
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    There will be a time in your life when you can't actually go for the Yahoo! Answers approach to your problems, and the internet will not cough up the response you intend to accept. Luckily this is not one of those times, as the question is clearly not intended to be told what your forum identity is but merely to have a thread talk about you for a while. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    I for one have long since accepted that I have no real personality either, and so feel as though I can involve myself here with a measured and objective opinion.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    I had a revelation.

    I'm a mediocre poster.
    OH NOES!

    Wait, hang on. Maybe not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    and I don't have a "gay little clique" (Prince CHEWS, 2012) to have really good sex with like our er, gay little clique. ****,
    You do have a clique, it's the Cricsim lot - superiority division. And by that I mean your posting on Cricsim is not entirely related to talking about CW, while avoiding turning into a 15-year old. Of which there are surprisingly few. Disappointly, it's not a gay clique, but you can work on that. Just not on Cricsim, probably. 15 year olds, you know.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    half the time everyone thinks I'm this ****.
    It's only a confusion had by new or extremely inattentive posters. Initially started due to the pair of you talking in arguments that almost exclusively interest the pair of you, but usually dispelled by the fact that Athlai is a demonstrably better poster than you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    Well, I tried banning James but apparently I'm not allowed to do that. Let me show you the message I get when I try to infract Prince EWS just now.

    Flem274*, you are not allowed to give warnings or infractions to Moderators.

    Well, the effort is appreciated. Sadly, the time has passed when going out in a blaze of glory is mostly inaccessible to you, because any attempt to do so would now be seen as an artificial attempt to instil yourself with some kind of personality. So it wouldn't be your blaze of glory. The fact that your attempt to ban James was not actually your idea shows that you aren't actually original or interesting enough to pull this one off.

    Your best bet, for either continued forum identity or an unparalleled exit, is simply to switch permanently to your DingDong account, who I have reason to believe is in fact you while under the influence of ketamine.

    Either that, or continue being a mediocre poster like the rest of us, and try to get past the idea that you are entitled to have other people take an interest in you.
    Every 5 years we have an election and have to decide who are the least obnoxious out of all the men. Then one gets in and they age really quickly. Which is always fun to watch.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    I had a revelation.

    I'm a mediocre poster.

    This may come as a shock to many of you. I know the name "Flem274*" and it's many variations are revered across the forum world. Never before has a poster been so parochial, so knee jerk, so attention seeking, and never has a poster incensed a current first class cricketer so much they signed up just to tell me what a **** I am. Twice.

    But I must tell the truth. Much like Daniel Flynn, I look the part and I try hard but I'm not actually very good. Unlike Daniel Flynn, I still have all of my teeth, which is more than our English population can boast.

    I'm not as knowledgable as vic_orthdox or Top Cat. My one liners have nothing on Spikey, Heath or Sledger. I'm not as modly as Pickup or Spark, nor as insane and wacko as Richard, or as nerdy as Silentstriker, and I don't have a "gay little clique" (Prince CHEWS, 2012) to have really good sex with like our er, gay little clique. ****, half the time everyone thinks I'm this ****.

    CricketWeb, I need your help. Despite your pathetic success record for helping people succeed in life (seriously Girl Trouble crowd, put Ed out of his misery already), you are my only hope. The other forums I frequent have either too many bogan Australians or too many Americans. It's CW or a lifetime of forum mediocrity.

    I've tried being knowledgeable, I've tried being funny, I even tried being Richard. Nothing works. Now I know what you're thinking; "You're a moderator (somehow), just ban James or get yourself fired and go down in a blaze of glory. Not even Ginger Furball managed to get fired and he was terrible, and Scottish."

    Well, I tried banning James but apparently I'm not allowed to do that. Let me show you the message I get when I try to infract Prince EWS just now.

    Flem274*, you are not allowed to give warnings or infractions to Moderators.



    As for going down in a blaze of glory, well I don't have the bottle. Despite being told off for my lack of diplomacy weekly in the mod forum, I am unable to bring myself to get fired. I quite like knowing what happens on CW, because as it happens I am an insufferable know-it-all.

    I am suffering from what a certain Mr Burge would diagnose as Indian Inferiority Complex. I am sure I am not alone in this. I started this thread to make a safe place, where the afflicted can openly discuss their sickness without fear of scorn from the big shots.

    Cricketweb, help me overcome my mid life crisis.

    The way I see it this has to be your first post away from mediocrity. Well done

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