Mid Life Crisis - The Forum Version

[Flem274*]

I had a revelation.

I'm a mediocre poster.

This may come as a shock to many of you. I know the name "Flem274*" and it's many variations are revered across the forum world. Never before has a poster been so parochial, so knee jerk, so attention seeking, and never has a poster incensed a current first class cricketer so much they signed up just to tell me what a **** I am. Twice.

But I must tell the truth. Much like Daniel Flynn, I look the part and I try hard but I'm not actually very good. Unlike Daniel Flynn, I still have all of my teeth, which is more than our English population can boast.

I'm not as knowledgable as vic_orthdox or Top Cat. My one liners have nothing on Spikey, Heath or Sledger. I'm not as modly as Pickup or Spark, nor as insane and wacko as Richard, or as nerdy as Silentstriker, and I don't have a "gay little clique" (Prince CHEWS, 2012) to have really good sex with like our er, gay little clique. ****, half the time everyone thinks I'm this ****.

CricketWeb, I need your help. Despite your pathetic success record for helping people succeed in life (seriously Girl Trouble crowd, put Ed out of his misery already), you are my only hope. The other forums I frequent have either too many bogan Australians or too many Americans. It's CW or a lifetime of forum mediocrity.

I've tried being knowledgeable, I've tried being funny, I even tried being Richard. Nothing works. Now I know what you're thinking; "You're a moderator (somehow), just ban James or get yourself fired and go down in a blaze of glory. Not even Ginger Furball managed to get fired and he was terrible, and Scottish."

Well, I tried banning James but apparently I'm not allowed to do that. Let me show you the message I get when I try to infract Prince EWS just now.

Flem274*, you are not allowed to give warnings or infractions to Moderators.



As for going down in a blaze of glory, well I don't have the bottle. Despite being told off for my lack of diplomacy weekly in the mod forum, I am unable to bring myself to get fired. I quite like knowing what happens on CW, because as it happens I am an insufferable know-it-all.

I am suffering from what a certain Mr Burge would diagnose as Indian Inferiority Complex. I am sure I am not alone in this. I started this thread to make a safe place, where the afflicted can openly discuss their sickness without fear of scorn from the big shots.

Cricketweb, help me overcome my mid life crisis.

[Spark]

would read again, 7.2/10

[GIMH]

[Flem274*]

Originally Posted by Spark

would read again, 7.2/10

^trying to be pratters

its okay spark, I understand

[Adamc]

Originally Posted by Flem274*

I've tried being knowledgeable, I've tried being funny, I even tried being Richard

You're not any of these things (mercifully, in the latter case). Just come to terms with your mediocrity and be done with it.

[morgieb]

Well they say the first sign to solving something is admitting to having a problem.

[Daemon]

Flem

[Mike5181]

Can't believe you had a dig at Daniel Flynn. Shame on you.

Athlai>Phlegm.

[benchmark00]

I'd say mediocre would be a compliment itbt.

[Flem274*]

Originally Posted by Mike5181

Athlai>Phlegm.

I am unstable, petty and deluded enough to think people care about infractions. Don't make me do it.

[Spark]

Originally Posted by benchmark00

I'd say mediocre would be a compliment itbt.

A valid and reasonable point.

[Agent Nationaux]

We need an intervention and Kyle Mills porn for Phlem.

If it makes you feel any better I am also a dire poster.

[G.I.Joe]

Chin up, Aflai.

[Howe_zat]

There will be a time in your life when you can't actually go for the Yahoo! Answers approach to your problems, and the internet will not cough up the response you intend to accept. Luckily this is not one of those times, as the question is clearly not intended to be told what your forum identity is but merely to have a thread talk about you for a while. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I for one have long since accepted that I have no real personality either, and so feel as though I can involve myself here with a measured and objective opinion.

Originally Posted by Flem274*

I had a revelation.

I'm a mediocre poster.

OH NOES!

Wait, hang on. Maybe not.

Originally Posted by Flem274*

and I don't have a "gay little clique" (Prince CHEWS, 2012) to have really good sex with like our er, gay little clique. ****,

You do have a clique, it's the Cricsim lot - superiority division. And by that I mean your posting on Cricsim is not entirely related to talking about CW, while avoiding turning into a 15-year old. Of which there are surprisingly few. Disappointly, it's not a gay clique, but you can work on that. Just not on Cricsim, probably. 15 year olds, you know.

Originally Posted by Flem274*

half the time everyone thinks I'm this ****.

It's only a confusion had by new or extremely inattentive posters. Initially started due to the pair of you talking in arguments that almost exclusively interest the pair of you, but usually dispelled by the fact that Athlai is a demonstrably better poster than you.

Originally Posted by Flem274*

Well, I tried banning James but apparently I'm not allowed to do that. Let me show you the message I get when I try to infract Prince EWS just now.

Flem274*, you are not allowed to give warnings or infractions to Moderators.

Well, the effort is appreciated. Sadly, the time has passed when going out in a blaze of glory is mostly inaccessible to you, because any attempt to do so would now be seen as an artificial attempt to instil yourself with some kind of personality. So it wouldn't be your blaze of glory. The fact that your attempt to ban James was not actually your idea shows that you aren't actually original or interesting enough to pull this one off.

Your best bet, for either continued forum identity or an unparalleled exit, is simply to switch permanently to your DingDong account, who I have reason to believe is in fact you while under the influence of ketamine.

Either that, or continue being a mediocre poster like the rest of us, and try to get past the idea that you are entitled to have other people take an interest in you.

[smalishah84]

Originally Posted by Flem274*

I had a revelation.

I'm a mediocre poster.

This may come as a shock to many of you. I know the name "Flem274*" and it's many variations are revered across the forum world. Never before has a poster been so parochial, so knee jerk, so attention seeking, and never has a poster incensed a current first class cricketer so much they signed up just to tell me what a **** I am. Twice.

But I must tell the truth. Much like Daniel Flynn, I look the part and I try hard but I'm not actually very good. Unlike Daniel Flynn, I still have all of my teeth, which is more than our English population can boast.

I'm not as knowledgable as vic_orthdox or Top Cat. My one liners have nothing on Spikey, Heath or Sledger. I'm not as modly as Pickup or Spark, nor as insane and wacko as Richard, or as nerdy as Silentstriker, and I don't have a "gay little clique" (Prince CHEWS, 2012) to have really good sex with like our er, gay little clique. ****, half the time everyone thinks I'm this ****.

CricketWeb, I need your help. Despite your pathetic success record for helping people succeed in life (seriously Girl Trouble crowd, put Ed out of his misery already), you are my only hope. The other forums I frequent have either too many bogan Australians or too many Americans. It's CW or a lifetime of forum mediocrity.

I've tried being knowledgeable, I've tried being funny, I even tried being Richard. Nothing works. Now I know what you're thinking; "You're a moderator (somehow), just ban James or get yourself fired and go down in a blaze of glory. Not even Ginger Furball managed to get fired and he was terrible, and Scottish."

Well, I tried banning James but apparently I'm not allowed to do that. Let me show you the message I get when I try to infract Prince EWS just now.

Flem274*, you are not allowed to give warnings or infractions to Moderators.



As for going down in a blaze of glory, well I don't have the bottle. Despite being told off for my lack of diplomacy weekly in the mod forum, I am unable to bring myself to get fired. I quite like knowing what happens on CW, because as it happens I am an insufferable know-it-all.

I am suffering from what a certain Mr Burge would diagnose as Indian Inferiority Complex. I am sure I am not alone in this. I started this thread to make a safe place, where the afflicted can openly discuss their sickness without fear of scorn from the big shots.

Cricketweb, help me overcome my mid life crisis.

The way I see it this has to be your first post away from mediocrity. Well done