On the gangrape in Delhi and the attitude towards women in India, here is what I wrote on my FB page
- on 31st December 2012
Sharm hum ko magar nah in aati ...
(Translation : and yet we continue to be completely shameless)
Gangrape or just rape is not the only issue at stake at what is unfolding in our "great" Bharatvarsh in the last couple of weeks. It is the entire gamut of how we treat girls and women in our midst, in our homes. Our daughters, daughters-in-law and sisters are being treated as third class citizens by our own sons, sons-in-law and brothers-in-law and instead of standing by their side, making them feel strong and giving them the strength to fight the injustice perpetrated upon them, we take refuge in our shameless pandering to 'biradari' (society) concerns. We are so worried about upsetting the boat of this sinful log-kya-kahenge (what will the people say) attitude that we force these poor girls to go back to their hellish lives with platitudes that I am ashamed to mouth.
Look around you in your own house, in the houses of your friends and relatives and see how we are a party to this shameful degradation of human beings only because they belong to a particular gender and ask yourself if you could not do more.
What stops you from speaking up ? What stops you from boycotting the sons, sons-in-law and brothers-in-law? What stops you from saying to these hapless girls, "I am with you and will stand by you no matter what".
If you do not have the balls to do so then stop tweeting and sharing messages on Facebook and other social media showing concern for what is happening in our "mahan" nation. Stop pretending to be concerned about strangers who you will never meet and paying lip service to standing by these girls if you do not have the guts to stand by those around you who are suffering from ill treatment at the hands of the men in their lives.
Stop "giving away" your daughters in "Kanya-daan" who do you think you are to give away another human being as alms?
Stop telling your daughters that they now belong to another. These are not your belongings you are handing over to someone else dammit.
Stop asking your girls to "adopt"/"co-operate" in the face of inhuman treatment. If you are not prepared to genuinely treat your sons and daughters equally and your daughters in law just as you treat your sons in law then shut up and stop paying lip service to the girl who was gangraped in Delhi for you don't really understand where the problem originates.
It originates in our homes and in those of our near and dear ones. There are those in my close family who are guilty of these sins and I am ashamed of being related to them and I would be ashamed of myself if I was not willing to say this to their faces - and I do.
and on 9th Jan 2013
NO. It has nothing to do with honour . . .
. . . of your husband, your father or your family . . . gangrape and rape in general are terrible, terrible things to happen to anyone but those who think it is about the person's her family's or the wider 'biradari' (community)'s honour are not just so very wrong, they are part of the problem or at least part of the failure to find a solution to this horrible disease that ails our men and our society because of which a woman is raped in India every 40 minutes !!
Thirty-three years ago a minor was gang-raped in Bombay and this is what she has to say about it today when she is in her 50th year. Read the whole of it for this is an eye opener for many amongst us . . .
I Was Wounded; My Honour Wasn't
and this is what she had written three decades ago . . .
"I fought for my life and won
and I have noting to add except that all of us, and I mean ALL INDIANS, are squarely to blame for the sinful attitude towards women in our country and paying lip service to rape victims does not wash away our guilt.