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Thread: Best Simpsons Quotes EVER

  1. #1
    International Captain Cloete's Avatar
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    Best Simpsons Quotes EVER

    Post all you favourtie quotes here. I'm sure there's alot

    Homer: 'Blue M&M- red M&M what's the difference, they all come out the same colour in the end'.

    Homer: 'A missionary? But I don't even believe in Jebus!'

    HOMER: If you've been good...pizza, if you've been bad...poison.
    LISA: What if one of us has been good, and the other bad?
    BART: Poison pizza.
    HOMER: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

    Ralph 'Me fail English? That's unpossible!'

    Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
    Ralph: I'm a boy!
    Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

    MILHOUSE: We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.


    CWXI Regular - Member of CW Black

    Blacks ftw

  2. #2
    International Captain Cloete's Avatar
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    feel free to add your own

    Ralph: The Doctor said i wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if i kept my finger outta there.

  3. #3
    State Vice-Captain gibbsnsmith's Avatar
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    LOL!

    too many...

    OK,how about this

    Homer[pretending to be mr.burns]: Can i have my letters please dear sir
    Post Office Geez: and what is yr name plz
    Homer:Mr.Burns
    Post Office Geez: And whats yr first name Mr. Burns
    Homer: I dont know

  4. #4
    U19 12th Man esgallindeion's Avatar
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    Simpsons is too great for me to type any one fav quote. That, and I can't quote any exactly.
    "D'oh!"


  5. #5
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
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    My favourite:

    Homer: "Alcohol! The solution to - and cause of - all life's problems!"
    Messi scores on the rebound.

    Founder of ESAS - Edgar Schiferli, the best associate bowler
    A follower of the schools of Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett and Benaud
    Member of JMAS, DMAS, FRAS and RTDAS

    Quote Originally Posted by Adolf Grünbaum
    Is the conduct approved by the gods right ("pious"), because of properties of its own, or merely because it pleases the gods to value or command it?

  6. #6
    State Vice-Captain gibbsnsmith's Avatar
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    Homer : run like youve got wind



  7. #7
    U19 12th Man esgallindeion's Avatar
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    I've got one...

    Homer - "D'oh!"

  8. #8
    State Vice-Captain yaju's Avatar
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    Now this is what I call funny.

    Thanks Cloete!
    Yaju
    Self Proclaimed World's Greatest 12th Man.

    I like wasting homo sapiens' time - like the way I wasted yours just now.

    Quote Originally Posted by 5N1p3R j0C|<
    Why are you wasting time your reading others' quotes?
    Quote Originally Posted by DD
    <quack>

  9. #9
    U19 12th Man esgallindeion's Avatar
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    Another sort one

    Homer - "Mmmmmm. Free Goo."

  10. #10
    U19 12th Man esgallindeion's Avatar
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    "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

    "God bless those pagans."

    "I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."

    "If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"

  11. #11
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Mr Mxyzptlk's Avatar
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    Sideshow Bob: I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
    ---
    Homer : Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
    ---
    Homer : Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
    ---
    Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
    ---
    TV Commercial: It's eleven o'clock. Do you know where your children are?
    Homer: I told you last night, NO!
    Sreesanth said, "Next ball he was beaten and I said, 'is this the King Charles Lara? Who is this impostor, moving around nervously? I should have kept my mouth shut for the next ball - mind you, it was a length ball - Lara just pulled it over the church beyond the boundary! He is a true legend."


  12. #12
    International Captain Cloete's Avatar
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    Lisa & Bart: "Dad we did something very bad."
    Homer: "Did you wreck the car?"
    Lisa & Bart: "No."
    Homer: "Did you raise the dead?"
    Lisa & Bart: "Yes"
    Homer: "But the car's alright?"
    Lisa & Bart nod heads
    Homer: "Well that's okay then."
    `````````````````````````````
    Homer: "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night."
    `````````````````````````````
    Homer: "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that."
    `````````````````````````````
    Homer: "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."
    `````````````````````````````
    Homer: "Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."
    `````````````````````````````
    Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe)
    `````````````````````````````
    Homer: "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true."
    `````````````````````````````
    Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
    Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...
    [laughs hysterically]
    Homer: So to answer your question, I don't know.
    `````````````````````````````
    Lisa: As you know, we've been swimming. And we've developed a taste for it. We agree that getting our own pool is the way to go. Now before you respond, you should know that your refusal will result in months and months of...
    Bart, Lisa: CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad?
    Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
    `````````````````````````````












  13. #13
    State Vice-Captain gibbsnsmith's Avatar
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    Oh dear god, andrews quotes are too funny

  14. #14
    State Vice-Captain gibbsnsmith's Avatar
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    Homer:"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:

    You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."


    Homer:"Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. And I say... This stinks!"

    Homer:"I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb."

    Homer:"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"

    Homer:"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

    Homer:"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

    Homer:''To Start Press Any Key''. Where's the ANY key?

    Bart:"What a day, eh Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them-as is my understanding."






    IF YOU HAVENT DIED WITH LAUGHTER THEN WELL YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR

  15. #15
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
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    Originally posted by gibbsnsmith

    IF YOU HAVENT DIED WITH LAUGHTER THEN WELL YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR
    So, you

    a) are a ghost
    b) have no sense of humour

    Back to quotes:

    Homer: Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

    Homer: Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.

    Homer: What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

    Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

    Bart: Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.

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