Best Simpsons Quotes EVER

[open365]

"Max Power, he's the guy with the name you'd like to touch BUT YOU MUSNT TOUCH"

Homer-'how ironic,he'e blind after enjoying a life of being able to see'

[Deja moo]

Bart: "I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T - I mean S-M-A-R-T!"

Ralph: "thank you supernintendo Chalmers"

Grandpa Simpson: "My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a **** star."

Homer: "If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement."

Sideshow Bob: "I once tried to kill the world's greatest lover, but I realised there's laws against suicide."

Johnny Tightlips: "I ain't sayin nothin"

Homer: " I need some advice...for my friend.., er,.. Joey.. Jo Jo.. Junior... Shabidoo.."
Moe: "Thats the worst name I ever heard!"
A man cries and runs out of the bar.
Barney: "Hey! come back, Joey Jo Jo!"

Comic Book Guy: "Inspired by the most logical race in the galaxy, The Vulcans, breeding will be permitted once every seven years. For many of you, this will mean much less breeding. For me, much much more."

Homer: It seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him.
Skinner: How ironic.

Homer: Lisa, If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Mr. Burns: And a stunt like that impresses people?
Homer: Oh yeah. And I'm not easily impressed. Wow! A blue car!

Comic Book Guy: Internet King - maybe he can provide faster nudity.

Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: If you did it, sir?

Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but... if you're up there, save me, Superman!

[Top_Cat]

Contestant: "You said if I slept with you, it'd help my career!"
DUFFMAN: "Duffman says a lotta things! OHHH YEAAAAH!!!!"

[The Foxtrot]

Homer: FREE TRAMAPOLINE

haha that one got my for ages.....

[Natman20]

The Full Qoute from homers song:

"Max Power, hes the man whos name you'd like to touch, But you MUSN'T TOUCH! His name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it you musn't FEAR! Cause his name can be said by anyone."

[Armadillo]

"Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem"

[The Foxtrot]

Squirmy Wormy Maggie
Climbs out of Daddy's hands
Daddy feels rejected
He's gonna eat some cake...

[AndrewM]

Woman: "Hi, i'm from ---, specializing in treatment for bald, impotent men."
Homer: "Well, i am bald and important!"

Director: Up and atom!
McBain: Up and at them.
Director: Up and ATOM!
McBain: Up and atdem!
Director: UP AND ATOM!
McBain: UP AND ATEM!
Director: .. Better.

[vic_orthdox]

Boom chika boom chika bom che boom.

I'm Mr. Plow, and I'm here to say
That I'm the plowiest guy in the USA
I've got a big plow and I move a lotta things
Just like your car, if you have one.

[danish]

Fat Tony: "It has been decided. After much deliberation, our mafia website will now be called crime.org."

Associate: "Hey Tony, I thought you said Troy Mclure was dead."
Fat Tony: "I didn't. I said he sleeps with the fishes.

Chief Wiggum: "Great work Lou, I'll have you promoted to sergeant for this."
Lou: "But Chief-"
Chief Wiggum: "Quiet Lou, or I'll have you demoted to sergeant so fast it'll make your head spin."

Movie critic: "Hey McBain, your shoes are undone."
(12 hours later)
McBain: "On closer inspection, they appear to be loafers."

[DJellett]

*Homer runs past naked*

Patty: There goes the last threat of my hetrosexuality"

[squeakyclean]

There's quite a few.....



Marge: Why all the black, Homer?

Homer: I could ask you the same thing. Why all the pearls? Why all the hair? Why anything?

Lisa: You look pretty shifty, Dad.

Homer: No YOU look pretty shifty, Lisa!

Bart: What's going on, Homer?

Homer: Oh nothing, I'm just going out to perform certain deeds. Heheh, suckers.



Abe: Not many people know this, but I owned the first radio in Springfield. Not much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. 'A' he'd say. Then 'B'. 'C' would usually follow...



Bart: I’ll take up smoking, and give that up!

Homer: Congratulations boy, giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Have a dollar.

Lisa: But he didn’t do anything!

Homer: Didn’t he Lisa? Didn’t he? ……Hey wait! He didn’t! *snatches dollar back*





Marge: The Plant called today and said that if you don’t come in tomorrow, don’t bother going in on Monday.

Homer: Woohoo! Four-day weekend!




Lionel Hutz: This is the biggest case of fraugalant advertising since my lawsuit against the film the Neverending Story!




Homer: In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.




Homer: Ah! Bees! Ouch! They’re defending themselves somehow!



Abe: My story begins in Nineteen dickety two. We had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser had stolen our word for "twenty." I chased him down the road but gave up after dickety-six miles...



Homer: Well I’m not going to sleep in the same bed with someone who thinks I’m lazy! I’m going to get out of bed, go downstairs, unfold the couch……..ah the hell with it. *goes to sleep*




FBI Guy: Now remember, your name, is Mr Thompson.

Homer: OK

FBI Guy: Hello, Mr Thompson.

Homer: …..

*Hours later*

FBI Guy: OK, when I say “Hello Mr Thompson” and press down on your foot, you say “Hello”

Homer: Got ya.

FBI Guy: HELLO MR THOMPSON.

Homer: ………(to other FBI guy) I think he’s talking to you.


Bart: Take him away boys.

Wiggum: Hey! That's my job! Bake him away toys.

Lou: Uh...what chief?

Wiggum: ....Just do what the kid says.



And finally….

Homer: I want to set the record straight. I thought, the cop, was a PROSTITUTE.

[Kweek]

http://www.vkmag.com/magazine/comments/6212/

Very funny