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Thread: And the joke's on...

  1. #1
    U19 Debutant IrishOpener's Avatar
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    And the joke's on...

    I didn't make these up, just this post was on another forum I use, and thought I would post them here,

    Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was English?
    A. An all-rounder.

    Q. What's the English version of a hat-trick?
    A. Three runs in three balls.

    Q. What advantage do Kevin Pietersen and Jonathan Trott have over the rest of their teammates?
    A. At least they can say they're not really English.

    Q. Why don't English fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
    A. Because they never catch anything.

    Q. What do you call a Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
    A. A bowler.


    Q. What do Matt Prior and Michael Jackson have in common?
    A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

    Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
    A. The walk back to the pavilion.

    Q. What is the definition of optimism?
    A. An England batsman putting on sunscreen before going out to bat.

    Q. What is the difference between an England batsman and a Formula 1 car?
    A. Nothing! If you blink you'll miss both.

    Paul Collingwood's mobile rings in the dressing room and the team manager picks it up.
    "Hello."
    "Hi, I'd like to speak to Paul."
    "Sorry he has just gone out to bat, but hold the line he wont be long."

    England sent an emergency call to Prince Charles after the match asking him to come to India and save their World Cup campaign. Prince Charles replied: "I'd love to come and help, however I can't bat. But don't worry ... Camilla Parker Bowles."

    Steven Beacon, the editor of The Belfast Telegraph, told Melbourne radio station SEN this morning "Guys, we've just won the Ashes back for ya." ...

  2. #2
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Would love to see what the reaction would be if I made an Indian version of this and posted it in CC

  3. #3
    U19 Debutant IrishOpener's Avatar
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    I didn't mean to offend you Sledger, sure there has been Irish jokes for as long as I can remember ...

  4. #4
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Haha, dw, you haven't offended me at all, I was just musing at the possibility of what I suggested.


  5. #5
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Furball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sledger View Post
    Would love to see what the reaction would be if I made an Indian version of this and posted it in CC
    Doesn't contain any offensive language, reckon you'd be ok.
    ​63*

  6. #6
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Jesting that a certain player might not be very good would be pretty controversial, however.

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    International 12th Man blahblahblah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sledger View Post
    Would love to see what the reaction would be if I made an Indian version of this and posted it in CC
    just try it

  8. #8
    Eternal Optimist / Cricket Web Staff Member GIMH's Avatar
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    I liked the 'we've just won the Ashes back for ya' one
    Phillip Hughes 1988-2014

    RIP Craigos. A true CW legend. You will be missed.

  9. #9
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
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    How do people not get tired of these jokes? Come out during the Ashes every time one team is looking down and out.
    Quote Originally Posted by flibbertyjibber View Post
    Only a bunch of convicts having been beaten 3-0 and gone 9 tests without a win and won just 1 in 11 against England could go into the home series saying they will win. England will win in Australia again this winter as they are a better side which they have shown this summer. 3-0 doesn't lie girls.

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    International Vice-Captain Redbacks's Avatar
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