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Thread: A letter

  1. #61
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Matteh's Avatar
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    He's been bankrolled by the Sultans.
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    3. Although Cow Tipping is a hilarious student game in backwater towns such as Bangor, there really is no need for Mitchell to cover one side of the cow in superglue

  2. #62
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
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    A Letter

    Dear The Coleman Family,

    I hope this letter finds you well and that no unfortunate accidents have befallen you since a member of our forum wished death upon you all. It has caused me no small amount of concern worrying whether you and your son's friends are in good health and spirits. Perhaps for safety's sake, it would be best for you to avoid all congregating in one spot, such as at the funeral, lest you be visited by some great misfortune.

    Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat.

    Truly yours, your biggest fan,

    This is Stan
    'Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'farewell! Every happiness and prosperity! If, in the progress of revolving years, I could persuade myself that my blighted destiny had been a warning to you, I should feel that I had not occupied another man's place in existence altogether in vain.
    - Wilkins Micawber

  3. #63
    Request Your Custom Title Now! benchmark00's Avatar
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    Kohli. Do something in test cricket for once please.

    Thanks.

  4. #64
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Very moving itbt.


  5. #65
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
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    Dear Benchmark00,

    I am thinking of going into the lucrative cheesy bread industry. Do you think there is enough room for me and the giant family restaurant conglomerates to coexist?

    Also, I'm still unaware of what exactly the main ingredients in 'cheesy bread' are. What is a 'cheesy bread'? Is it some kind of low-fat muffin?

    Finally, I'm willing to share part of this startup venture with you. Please enclose a cheque for one-hundred million Albanian Leks, made out to my business associate, Afrim Skanderbeg, along with your answers to my questions.

    This is not a scam,

    Gjergj A.
    4th in line to the throne of Albania

  6. #66
    Request Your Custom Title Now! benchmark00's Avatar
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    Mr. Casson STOP
    Your constant letters are becoming a nuisance STOP
    If you do not cease I will be forced to pursue legal action STOP

    Regards,
    Jim Shoes.

  7. #67
    Hall of Fame Member NZTailender's Avatar
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    Dear Mr Casson, andyc, Son of Coco and anyone else who has experience in this field,

    How do I get an Asian girlfriend? Being a cold, University town, I often see pretty Asian girls in my travels wearing a similar fashion of long coat, skirt, stockings and boots. I Find this very appealing, and would like to date an Asian girl. How do I go about this?

    Your friend,
    Charlie Cheesehands
    President of SKAS - Kat is King | Proud member of CVAAS - One of the best | LRPLTAS - Rosco rocks!
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  8. #68
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Pocky. Imo.

  9. #69
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NZTailender View Post
    Dear Mr Casson, andyc, Son of Coco and anyone else who has experience in this field,

    How do I get an Asian girlfriend? Being a cold, University town, I often see pretty Asian girls in my travels wearing a similar fashion of long coat, skirt, stockings and boots. I Find this very appealing, and would like to date an Asian girl. How do I go about this?

    Your friend,
    Charlie Cheesehands
    Dear Charlie,

    Thank you for your letter, though I must say I found the substance of it to be quite concerning. I hope I'm not too late in saying this, but please abandon your plans for Oriental copulation with great haste. Before you know it you will be thinking twice before drinking water from the shower tap.

    Charlie my friend, I've enclosed a wet refresher towelette to deal with your cheese hand dilemma (I got it with an ultimate burger meal combo at KFC). It's already used of course, but I thought you might find some use in it all the same.

    Your BFF,

    Mr Casson

  10. #70
    Hall of Fame Member NZTailender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Casson View Post
    Dear Charlie,

    Thank you for your letter, though I must say I found the substance of it to be quite concerning. I hope I'm not too late in saying this, but please abandon your plans for Oriental copulation with great haste. Before you know it you will be thinking twice before drinking water from the shower tap.

    Charlie my friend, I've enclosed a wet refresher towelette to deal with your cheese hand dilemma (I got it with an ultimate burger meal combo at KFC). It's already used of course, but I thought you might find some use in it all the same.

    Your BFF,

    Mr Casson
    Mr Casson,

    Thank you for your advice and towelette. I just have one further question for you to deal with.

    Where's my burrito?

    Sincerely in Helsinki,
    Charlie Cheesehands, BA WAC
    Last edited by NZTailender; 05-06-2010 at 05:18 PM.

  11. #71
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
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    Dear my good friends at Nokia,

    Please design a drunk-dialling mode on your next phone which prevents the user from making outbound calls for a certain period, say six hours.

    Best regards,

    Cirrhosis McDialysis

  12. #72
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Dear Casson,

    **** off you ****.

    Regards

    Mitchell

  13. #73
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Matteh's Avatar
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    I just called....to say....I, like, you.

    Heard about this show called Peep Show? Is pretty sweet.

  14. #74
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Very popular in SA I heard. Which is much better than the UK btw.

  15. #75
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Matteh's Avatar
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    Braai, Pissweak Britain, flying, photos, peep show.

    /over

    Incidentially

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