Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 53

Thread: Never seen a close friend cry?

  1. #1
    International Coach G.I.Joe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    India
    Posts
    10,947

    Never seen a close friend cry?

    Today I was out with with a buddy, one of my two closest friends. There was something he mentioned that doesn't seem right to me. We were discussing our mutual friend, and I remarked how I've never ever seen him lose his temper or cry. My friend said he had seen him cry on a few occasions, some after they'd had huge arguments. And these instances were relatively recent, not the run of the mill childhood scrapes.

    Now, granted they've been buddies since the fourth grade, while I've only known that mutual friend for the past 10 years or so, but it troubles me that despite our closeness, and we are close, I've never had a single substantial argument with him or seen him cry once. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen any buddy of mine cry as a grown up, and vice versa.

    Is this normal? We share our secrets, our hopes and ambitions. We share stuff with each other that even our parents don't know of. We have literally the same quirky interests and tastes in any sphere of life. We're not classically confrontational, and I guess that and our shared interests explain to an extent why we've never had an argument. We just get along. But does the fact that we've never been exposed to each other in a truly vulnerable state mean we've never really opened up to each other? As of this moment I'm starting to believe this means I've never really had a truly deep enough friendship.

    Can any of you relate to this?

  2. #2
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Flem274*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    ksfls;fsl;lsFJg/s
    Posts
    28,384
    Yeah, I wouldn't worry too much though, people are different around different people. Your relationship with him is different to your friends relationship with him, its just how you two interact, neither relationship is better or worse.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    Jeets doesn't really deserve to be bowling.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    Well yeah Tendy is probably better than Bradman, but Bradman was 70 years ago, if he grew up in the modern era he'd still easily be the best. Though he wasn't, can understand the argument for Tendy even though I don't agree.
    Proudly supporting Central Districts
    RIP Craig Walsh

  3. #3
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Top_Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Adelaide, South Australia
    Posts
    23,138
    I hear ya. Same with a mate of mine who really has been one of my best mates since we started high school. Have never seen him cry, have only really heard about his troubles after the fact (to his credit, sometimes immediately after the fact). He and I have shared both our parents' divorces and associated melodramas, went through music school together and shared each others successes and failures and played similar sports. We're about to start up a band too.

    I don't, however, think this means you've never been close. I have another friend of mine I've known since we were about 4 years old. I've seen him cry a bazillion times (caused a few myself, dislocated shoulder once) and we've been housemates for a while now too. We've also shared each others' life experiences. But, in my eyes, they're just as close to me as each other. Even better, despite having met each other years apart, they're good mates too.

    Some guys just different ways of expression. Some blokes like to express what's up at the time, others want to chew on it for a while and then go burden someone with it. Just different styles. I understand why you'd ask the question, though. I myself sometimes wonder why friend A above has never really lost it in front of me then I remember who his Dad is, a drunk, narcissistic, agoraphobic type who never talks about anything and it becomes clearer.
    The Colourphonics

    Bandcamp
    Twitderp

  4. #4
    Cricket Web Staff Member Richard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    2005
    Posts
    80,401
    I'd say none of my friends will have seen me cry for about 8-10 years, maybe even longer, and I reckon there's just 2 occasions where I've truly lost my temper amongst them\one-of-them in that time too. With one exception, the last group of people who might've seen me cry I speak to very rarely these days, though I'd be only too happy to become regularly acquainted with some of them again should they return to the area.

    Now then, I lead what some might call rather a mollycoddled life - the stuff I'd cry and\or lose my temper over would be relatively trivial to not-a-few. So I'm not an especially good example.

    Nonetheless, I don't know that it's neccessarily that unusual. But the one exception I mention above - the guy who's been my best friend since year nine (year of age 14 to 15) - the two of us have literally been through almost everything together in the time from that year onwards and have experienced just about all the other has suffered\enjoyed\endured\etc. He's had to deal with rather a lot more of a severe nature than I have, BTW. A hell of a lot more.
    RD
    Appreciating cricket's greatest legend ever - HD Bird...............Funniest post (intentionally) ever.....Runner-up.....Third.....Fourth
    (Accidental) founder of Twenty20 Is Boring Society. Click and post to sign-up.
    chris.hinton: h
    FRAZ: Arshad's are a long gone stories
    RIP Fardin Qayyumi (AKA "cricket player"; "Bob"), 1/11/1990-15/4/2006


  5. #5
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Flem274*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    ksfls;fsl;lsFJg/s
    Posts
    28,384
    Love the ad at the bottom of the page "I'm popular, you're not"

    Like Richard, I'm not really a crier (though obv. i have, and the last time I did was quite recent over something really corny, so you're not hearing it but previous to that I hadn't in like, 7 years), so I guess I might not be able to relate to the OP as others in this thread because I'm not likely to get cut up if people don't cry to me.

  6. #6
    Cricket Web Staff Member Richard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    2005
    Posts
    80,401
    It's not neccessarily a case of "not being a crier", just that I've been pretty fortunate really in that I've had no major upheaval or loss at any point in my life for a long, long time now (the only time really was when Mum and Dad dragged me down here at the age of 11, that cut me to pieces in a way nothing ever had before or ever has since, as I loved our old home and virtually everyone I knew there very dearly indeed).

    As I say, some would say I've been mollycoddled. If so, I don't really make any apologies for that - I've been pretty lucky, some are less lucky, that's just the way it goes. It won't last forever, of course.

    The only thing that ever really saddens me much is that good times past - and there've been many of them - are now past and can to some extent never be regained, even though the memories remain. I'm generally at my happiest reminissing, but usually doing so too much causes me to end-up rather melancholy (at best).

    It also generally takes quite a bit to make me lose my temper, though (as with most people in that boat) if I ever do, watch-out.

  7. #7
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    The Nest
    Posts
    8,415
    Quote Originally Posted by Richard View Post

    The only thing that ever really saddens me much is that good times past - and there've been many of them - are now past and can to some extent never be regained, even though the memories remain. I'm generally at my happiest reminissing, but usually doing so too much causes me to end-up rather melancholy (at best).

    It also generally takes quite a bit to make me lose my temper, though (as with most people in that boat) if I ever do, watch-out.
    This TBH
    Parmi

    Avatar now by choice. 5-0 in the Ashes and all.

  8. #8
    The Wheel is Forever silentstriker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    37,807
    I have never cried in front of my friends, nor has my best friend cried in front of me. I don't think its all that unusual. I've known him for 12-13 years, since the second day I landed in this country.

    Also, who the hell cries after arguments? I could see if there were some personal problems and such. But I've had those recently, and I've never done anything like that in front of other people - not even family. I think most guys don't.
    Quote Originally Posted by KungFu_Kallis View Post
    Peter Siddle top scores in both innings....... Matthew Wade gets out twice in one ball
    "The future light cone of the next Indian fast bowler is exactly the same as the past light cone of the previous one"
    -My beliefs summarized in words much more eloquent than I could come up with

    How the Universe came from nothing

  9. #9
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Top_Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Adelaide, South Australia
    Posts
    23,138
    Quote Originally Posted by Richard View Post
    It's not neccessarily a case of "not being a crier", just that I've been pretty fortunate really in that I've had no major upheaval or loss at any point in my life for a long, long time now (the only time really was when Mum and Dad dragged me down here at the age of 11, that cut me to pieces in a way nothing ever had before or ever has since, as I loved our old home and virtually everyone I knew there very dearly indeed).

    As I say, some would say I've been mollycoddled. If so, I don't really make any apologies for that - I've been pretty lucky, some are less lucky, that's just the way it goes. It won't last forever, of course.

    The only thing that ever really saddens me much is that good times past - and there've been many of them - are now past and can to some extent never be regained, even though the memories remain. I'm generally at my happiest reminissing, but usually doing so too much causes me to end-up rather melancholy (at best).

    It also generally takes quite a bit to make me lose my temper, though (as with most people in that boat) if I ever do, watch-out.
    Quote Originally Posted by ripper868 View Post
    This TBH
    Classic psychopaths, tbh.

  10. #10
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    The Nest
    Posts
    8,415
    Quote Originally Posted by Top_Cat View Post
    Classic psychopaths, tbh.
    Nail on head

  11. #11
    Cricket Web Staff Member Richard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    2005
    Posts
    80,401
    Quote Originally Posted by Top_Cat View Post
    Classic psychopaths, tbh.
    I've noted certain psychopath-inclusive traits in myself before, indeed - that is, aside from the two you comment on. Even with my rudimentary knowledge of the mind.

    Fortunately, I lack the one most crucial ingredient - a fascination with death and a wish to inflict it. Which means I'm a tad unlikely to ever go the whole hog.

  12. #12
    U19 Cricketer Trumpers_Ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Ayers Rock
    Posts
    460
    If someone doesn't cry, try kicking them in the balls 95% success or your money back.

  13. #13
    Cricket Web Content Updater alternative's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    11,114
    Quote Originally Posted by silentstriker View Post
    Also, who the hell cries after arguments? I could see if there were some personal problems and such. But I've had those recently, and I've never done anything like that in front of other people - not even family. I think most guys don't.
    Just bloody shoot them instead imo.
    Member of the AAAS
    Member of CW Green | Stedingham Jets Grade Cricket Team | Northside Power

    Manager of South Australia (WCC)

    Winner of AFL Tipping 2006 | Winner of Wimbeldon Prediction 2006

  14. #14
    The Wheel is Forever silentstriker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    37,807
    No, I mean that really. I've never seen an adult cry after an argument between friends.

  15. #15
    JJD Heads Athlai's Avatar
    Duck Hunt Champion! Plops Champion!
    Tournaments Won: 2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    ksfls;fsl:lsFJg/s
    Posts
    27,489
    Whenever they cry I slap them in the face and growl "BE A MAN."
    Direbirds FTW!

    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    Wellington will win the whole thing next year. Mark my words.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    I'll offer up my avatar to Athlai forever if Wellington wins the Champions League.
    President of T.I.T.S
    Tamim Is Talented Society

Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •