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Thread: Limericks!

  1. #1
    99*
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    Limericks!

    With this forum having so many pun experts, I though it might be a good idea for a limerick thread. Hopefully you all know what a limerick is. If you don't here's one I found:

    I knew a young lady named Claire,
    Who possessed a magnificent pair,
    Or that's what I thought,
    Till I saw one get caught,
    On a thorn and begin losing air.

    So we'll do it like this, I'll post a topic/person and the next person comes up with a limerick for that, then that person puts a topic for the next person.

    First topic: Shane Warne.

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    International Captain cover drive man's Avatar
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    Their once was a man named Warne
    Who hated our man Michael Vaughn
    So he bowled at the stump
    Now Vaughn cant hump
    And now he cant even watch porn!

    Next subject: Jesus.
    Last edited by cover drive man; 24-05-2008 at 07:54 AM.
    Everyone wants to change the world, noone wants to change himself.

    -Tolstoy

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    SJS
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    There once was a man from God
    Who people believed to be odd
    He healed the meek
    rose within a week
    and fed people with bread and scrod*


    * catch of the day or fish

    PS Its not written by me but from the net.

    Next subject : Billy Bunter

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    cpr
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    There once was a man called Jesus
    Who came down to Earth to free us
    He caused quite a din
    Talkin about sin
    But just as he got going he leaves us


    (sorry, had to keep the religious one bland and unoffensive y'know)

    Someone have a crack at George Bush, got to be some punnage in there

    ---
    Edit, bah, should've refreshed the thread first. Keeping it up though, because i cant do Billy Bunter, and SJS didnt write his own
    "All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
    Langeveldt: I of course blame their parents.. and unchecked immigration!
    GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individual
    Burgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.
    Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers


  5. #5
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
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    There once was a man from mantucket...
    Parmi

    Avatar now by choice. 5-0 in the Ashes and all.

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    SJS
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    The Cold Reality of Bush

    Mr. Bush has a plan, that is bold,
    To halt global warming, we're told.
    The Kyoto accord
    Is completely ignored
    To insure that the plan leaves us cold!

    or
    a preview of the Bush
    Presidential address

    As his surge simply slows to a crawl,
    Mr. Bush has learned nothing at all.
    With his words rearranged,
    His solution's unchanged:
    He just says "military," with drawl!

    or the
    Land of Libb(ert)y (Scooter)

    Even sans Bush's chosen commute,
    We were still on a treacherous route.
    Our country's been mugged
    By political thugs
    And the thieves have escaped with the loot!

    or as his pet poodle prepared to leave
    Living on Prayer
    The Britons have had their full share
    Of Iraq and Prime Minister Blair,
    So he soon will step down.
    But we're left with our clown
    And for respite we haven't a prayer!

    Take your prick (typo intended)

    Next : Fidel Castro

  7. #7
    Cricket Web Staff Member Richard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 99* View Post
    With this forum having so many pun experts, I though it might be a good idea for a limerick thread.
    Hmm, interesting comparison. I'm rather fond of the old puns, but the poetic expertise required for limericks is quite another matter.
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    State Vice-Captain yaju's Avatar
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    There was a guy called Castro
    Cubans hailed him as the Mastro
    Two hands, two legs, two ears, wow wee
    With two brown eyes he used to see
    Beard beard beard, facial hair was his trademark
    In Bermuda Triangle he used to hunt for blue shark
    He used to think he was the greatest that ever is
    But actually it is me who is the greatest that ever is


    Next :: Michaelanglo.

    BTW, 99*, fab thread!
    Yaju
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    Why are you wasting time your reading others' quotes?
    Quote Originally Posted by DD
    <quack>

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    International Coach PhoenixFire's Avatar
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    Err, Yaju, that wasn't a proper Limerick.
    Quote Originally Posted by Top_Cat View Post
    1) Had double pneumonia as a kid, as did my twin sis. Doctors told my parents to pray that we lived through the night. Dad said **** off, I'm an atheist, you ****s better save my kids, etc. Then prayed anyway.

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    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixFire View Post
    Err, Yaju, that wasn't a proper Limerick.
    neither was that
    rave down, hit the ground


    MSN: djjacksono@hotmail.com

  11. #11
    International Coach PhoenixFire's Avatar
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    Can't argue with that.

  12. #12
    Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Neil Pickup's Avatar
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    There was an old bloke with a beard
    His power he would never yield
    He lived through lots
    Of assassination plots
    For with a cigar he'd be healed

    Not perfect, granted, but I had to get "assassination" and "cigar" in, and I could only be arsed to think for a minute.
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    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neil Pickup View Post
    There was an old bloke with a beard
    His power he would never yield
    He lived through lots
    Of assassination plots
    For with a cigar he'd be healed

    Not perfect, granted, but I had to get "assassination" and "cigar" in, and I could only be arsed to think for a minute.
    Michaelanglo?

  14. #14
    Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Neil Pickup's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swervy View Post
    Michaelanglo?
    Yaju's didn't count...

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    International Captain Swervy's Avatar
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    You know, I don't know whether I have ever heard a limerick thats starts:

    'There was an old man from Limerick....'...which is quite odd I think

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