I Couldn't Disagree More!

[HeathDavisSpeed]

I was remembering some quiz show from the early 90s which featured Jeremy Hardy and Graham Garden. It had this round in it where one of them made a very innocuous (and generally true statement) and the other then had to argue against it starting with, "I couldn't disagree more".

Anyway, I thought this may have some success on this old forum.

So, here's the on-line version.

Basically, I will post a 'fact' and the first person has to take the opposing view and try and prove me wrong. Once the replier has done so, they can state their own innocuous fact for others to disprove.

For example:

FACT: George W Bush is the worst American President of the 21st Century.

REPLY: I couldn't disagree more! The fact of the matter is that George W Bush has achieved so much for the United States that he should be considered the best American President of the 21st Century. Just as their own oil was about to run out, George finds some new reserves in the little known 51st State of Iraq. Not only can his citizens keep their gas-guzzlers going for another five years, but peace and stability reins supreme! Not only that, but George has invented a load of new words for the 21st Century! I'd call him a bit of a Renaissance Man!

COUNTER FACT: I think its fair to say that after tens of thousands of years of evolution, that Man is greater than Beast.

Away you go!

[16 tins of Spam]

I think its fair to say that after tens of thousands of years of evolution, that Man is greater than Beast.

I couldn't disagree more!

Despite our self appointed status as supreme guardians and overlords of this planet, we seem to be incapable of actually using our position responsibly. When we're not wantonly killing each other over land, resources or indeed, matters of opinion, we're raping the planet for no reason other than because it's cost effective and convenient. For example, we see no contradiction in the idea of culling animals such as elephants when their numbers are deemed to be too high to be sustainable, yet never feel the need to control our own numbers. We maintain smugly elevated opinions of our own superiority over "beasts" (as HDS described them), yet when it comes down to it what have the vast majority of us ever done of any use or consequence? The entire canon of human achievement can be credited to an incredibly, utterly miniscule fraction of our best and brightest over the centuries, without whom the rest of us would be royally ****ed. At least the beasts just get on with doing what they are born to do - ie. eat, shag and die, without any delusions of grandeur about their place in the world or pretending that what they do actually matters.

Next proposition: My (the next writer's) dad is smarter than your dad.

[Goughy]

I couldn’t disagree more.

Modern humans evolved roughly 200,000 years ago. The last few tens of thousands of years of evolution has seen little or no change in man. If man was not greater than beast tens of thousands of years ago then he still isn’t as neither has changed.

However as further proof, one area we have seen a great deal of progression in is language. Speech patterns have become increasingly more complex. Simple items are given simple terms and more advanced concepts and ideas are usually described by long words. Hat is an ancient word and only has three letters. Non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitor is a modern phrase relating to HIV treatment and because it is very important it is quite long. Using the English language, and its evolution, as a base for scientific analysis we can see that the word beast contains five letters whereas man contains only three. Clearly using this foolproof system beast is more important, and therefore greater, than man.

EDIT- Beaten to it

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Clearly using this foolproof system beast is more important, and therefore greater, than man.

Good stuff. And a great start to the thread from both contributors so far!

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Next proposition: My (the next writer's) dad is smarter than your dad.

I couldn't disagree more!

Despite not knowing your own father, I know my own well enough to confirm that he is indeed at the bottom of the evolutionary ladder. Not only did he make the unfortunate error of contributing somewhat to my own ignominious entry to the world, but he has made a few faux pas that could have seen him as an early entrant to the Darwin Awards. One time, he decided to see how many helium filled balloons it would take to elevate him and his garden chair up to the clouds. Sadly, he overestimated the balloons required for elevation and wound up with both himself and his deckchair stuck in some overhead power cables. This required the local electricity grid to be shut down in order to allow his extraction. This allows me to categorically state that your dad is smarter than my own.

On the other hand, I think its fair to say that Nuclear Meltdowns are a bad thing.

[cpr]

Haha, what was that show? Remember it had something do to with politics (Garden's team was meant to represent the tories, other team were supposed to be labour, and I think the audience voted who won each round....)

Anyway, i'm in on this for the next Q

[silentstriker]

I couldn't disagree more!

As we established before, beast is indeed greater than man, and since our population and culture has put a de facto halt on the evolution of man, it is only natural that we create radiation whereby humans can mutate back into an entity which contains a minimum of five letters, such as beast. Some atheistic heathens believe that man = beast, and thus, we are making 3 letters = 5 letters, and since 3 cannot equal 5, we are living in a state of logical impossibility which is also an affront to God. Therefore nuclear meltdowns cannot possibly a bad thing.

On the other hand, I think its fair to say that the Earth is a sphere.

[HeathDavisSpeed]

I couldn't disagree more!...

I think you forgot to post your 'fact' that we can't disagree with??

[16 tins of Spam]

It would be interesting as this thread evolves to try and get a gauge on who actually believes what they're writing

[HeathDavisSpeed]

It would be interesting as this thread evolves to try and get a gauge on who actually believes what they're writing

I couldn't disagree more!

Contrary to popular opinion (i.e. your opinion) I can't think of anything more mind numbingly dull than trying to do some pseudo cod-Psychology based on trying to ascertain which of those people in this thread believe their own views. This, to my mind, would be like trying to judge people's sanity based on their own statistical view of the world. Speaking of which, I have measured the First Chance Average of the posters on this thread and determined that Chris Martin is clearly a better batsman than Marcus Trescothick.

In other news, I feel I speak for all of us when I say that Drinking Seawater is Bad for Your Health.

[HeathDavisSpeed]

On the other hand, I think its fair to say that the Earth is a sphere.

I Couldn't Disagree More!

I think you'll find that its an established fact, established by world renowned Factisticians that the world is more of an ellipsoidal sphere. In fact, so much so that if you were standing on the top of the highest peak in South America, you would be nearer to the surface of the moon than if you were standing on the top of Everest. This is because the mountain ranges of South America stand on the top of the ellipsoidal bulge rather than the more spherical ranges of Central Asia where Everest stands.

Hence, you are clearly misguided in your view of the world as a sphere.

For fear of repeating onesself, I feel I speak for all of us when I say that Drinking Seawater is Bad for Your Health.

[cpr]

I couldn't disagree more!

In other news, I feel I speak for all of us when I say that Drinking Seawater is Bad for Your Health.

I Couldnt Disagree More!


Compared to normal water, Seawater is by far much better for you. Nutritionists recommend we intake 5g of salt a day, how much of that do you get from normal water? Not as much as seawater! Other bonuses found in seawater include bits of seaweed and plankton, both part of a healthy balanced diet. Compare how many whales have died from plankton intake compared to getting beached in the Thames, and you find out exactly how good plankton is for you?

Tap water contains that many chemicals for 'purification', surely they cant be good for you. Not nearly as much as enrichment from crab piss, thats for sure.... Whats that? Bottled water doesnt have the chemicals? Mebbie not, but does seawater cost £1.20 a litre????

Sea water, free, fresh, and healthy.


Now, i've read today that Cycling is better for the enviroment that driving, i think thats a pretty sound judgement.......

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Now, i've read today that Cycling is better for the enviroment that driving, i think thats a pretty sound judgement.......

I couldn't disagree more!

Everyone knows that Cycling considerable distances requires a large amount of energy. Energy can easily be supplied to a cyclist by the consumption of copious amounts of beans. Sadly, this means that as the cyclist wends their merry way down the highways and byways of this world, that they are constantly belting out a large amount of Methane. Any environmentalist would tell you that global warming would not exist but for the constant, unceasing flatulence of our bovine companions and those cyclists among us only increase this problem still further. On the other hand, our poor cars only belt out such harmless chemicals as nitrogen diflufficide and dicuteness sulphide. Those chemicals are far too nice to be harmful!

I am of the opinion these days that windows are an essential part of a modern home.

[silentstriker]

I am of the opinion these days that windows are an essential part of a modern home.

I couldn't disagree more!

Everyone knows the eyes are the windows to your soul. But everyone knows that most home windows go two ways, and that means if you put windows in your home, your soul can peek out and probably wants to leave your lazy uninspired ass. Plus, old classical styles are coming back, and there is nothing more classical than a celler from the Spanish inquisition. If the guests in the celler did not need windows to enjoy their stay, it clearly means that with the modern home does not need windows either.

However, I think we can agree that Hitler was a terrible human being.

[16 tins of Spam]

However, I think we can agree that Hitler was a terrible human being.

I couldn't disagree more!

You see, thing is that Hitler wasn't human at all. He was in fact a domestic helper robot (the (The Adofitler 6500, only VSD$19999 at "Bots 4 U" stores everywhere) that was reprogrammed and sent from Venus to "buy all the spoons". The problem was that - unbeknownst to the manufacturer - this particular batch of robot shipped with a faulty aural detection circuit and he heard this simple instruction as "wipe out the jews", which we can all agree was highly unfortunate. At the end of WW2, Hitler did not in fact kill himself, but rather was recalled to Venus by his horrified owners who took out a warranty claim and then sued the Adofitler Corporation with other buyers in a successful class action, destroying the Venusian economy.

While we're on the subject, I think we can agree that American Idol is basically the nadir of human culture.