Post your reviews up here as you go.
Rest In Peace Craigos
Just saw this:
Also, alternate takes on conversations (spoilers, obv):
Shepard: "EDI, whenever we orbit an unexplored planet, scan for resources, and launch a probe at any deposit with over 500 units. Inform me when we're out of probes."
EDI: "That's an excellent idea, Shepard."
Shepard: "Actually, belay that... I'll do it manually."
Joker: "Yeah, Commander, that's what I'm talking about! **** that AI!"
EDI: "You realize what takes you twenty minutes, I can accomplish in 0.034 sec-............."
Joker: "I love the mute button. I'll just take a nap while you're spending half the game scanning planets, Commander."
Illusive Man: "Here's four dossiers and a ship. Start building your team."
Shepard: "You gave me four dossiers, but the shuttle you supplied me can only carry three people. I already have Miranda and Jacob. What's the point?"
Illusive Man: "We'll need their special skills."
Shepard: "Why do I need a psychopathic super-biotic, when these two already have biotics?"
Illusive Man: "Here's three more dossiers."
Shepard: "Oh, look, another touchy uber-biotic. Is this one going to detonate a nuke when we're still in the kill zone, too? And a sniper! Hey, look, I'm carrying a sniper rifle. So is Archangel. What are you thinking?"
Illusive Man: "Here's your DLC character. Oh, and a walking toaster, too."
Shepard: "Hello? My shuttle is still too small."
Illusive Man: "Sometimes you go to fight the greatest threat the galaxy's ever seen with the shuttle you have, not the shuttle you want."
Shepard: "Look, just let me go to the used ship shop on the Citadel. I'll get a twelve passenger Volkshuttle and then we can ALL go."
Illusive Man: *drags on his cigarette* "Shepard, I couldn't give you a shuttle big enough to carry your whole team. It might have tipped the Collectors off."
Shepard: "I'm never drinking with the doc again... 'A toast to Joker!' 'A toast to the Normandy!' 'A toast to random codex entry 3351!' Everything after that is a blur..."
Grunt: "By the fallout of Tuchanka, Battlemaster, you are stronger than you look. They should have named you 'Grunt.' I made you space hamster and fish for breakfast."
Shepard: "No!!! Boo!!! Why didn't you go for the eyes?! And... my fish! Wait, what? Grunt? Where's your armor? ... Oh, hey, 10 gamer points."
Shepard: "All right, I've earned Jack's trust... I wonder what happens now... Oh, she just put some clothes on. There's something very wrong with this galaxy."
Shepard: "Talk dirty to me."
Tali: "I'd share my suit environment with you any time, Shepard."
Shepard: "I didn't mean literally."
Tali: "I didn't mean it literally, jerk!"
Shepard: "Oh. Whoops. Well um, you still want to hook up?"
Tali: "Maybe later, I'm running some engine diagnostics."
Shepard: "I guess that's Quarian for 'I'm washing my hair.'"
Shepard: "Ash! C'mon, we're going to save the galaxy again."
Ashley: "No way, Commander. You're working for Cerberus. I'm an Alliance soldier. It's in my blood."
Shepard: "Yeah, this place looks a lot like Eden Prime. Remember that? You were an Alliance soldier there, too. Looks like you're two for two, Chief. Maybe you should reflect on what's in your blood. Like your grandfather at Shanxi. Yeah, that's right, I went there. How's that Alliance soldier thing working out for you?"
Ashley: "Waaaaah!" *runs away crying*
Shepard: "That's why I ****ed Liara instead of you, you frigid *****!"
Shepard: "Wrex! Come help me save the galaxy!"
Wrex: "No can do, Shepard. I need to play at Krogan politcs."
Shepard: "What? Seriously, Reapers, Wrex."
Wrex: "No, I need to work on the logistics of sharing females."
Shepard: "Wrex, my man, I am all ABOUT sharing females, but... REAPERS."
Wrex: "Hunt well, Shepard."
Shepard: "Yeah, **** you too."
Shepard: "Liara! Come with me. We can stop the Reapers and save the galaxy again."
Liara: "Sorry, Shepard, I need to sift through about fifty petabytes of data to find the next link to the Shadow Broker."
Shepard: "What the ****? Seriously? How about you do that AFTER we stop the Reapers from destroying all sentient life in the galaxy? You sifted through empty Prothean ruins for like, sixty years. You saw the vision from the beacons. You talked to Vigil. This is the major leagues, here, Liara. The Shadow Broker is bush-league."
Liara: "I can't. I have to find the Shadow Broker. Can you hack into some terminals for me?"
Shepard: "You know what? **** you and your stupid side missions. I have a big-tittied brunette and a perky redhead who likes to talk about Freud back on my ship."
Liara: "I need to collate this data."
Shepard: "Oh yeah? Well, you were a lousy lay, too! Freaking virgins."
Councilmembers: "No, no, the Reapers are a myth, Sovereign was just a geth ship. Don't bother arguing, we can't even hear you with our heads in the sand, and simulatenously up our ***es."
Shepard: "Wait, do you not remember the last game? Does the name 'Saren' ring a bell? I wasn't exactly crying wolf ANY of the six times I told you that there was some serious **** about to go down. What do I have to do, ride an Elcor around the Presidium with a lantern and yell "The Reapers are coming! The Reapers are coming!?"
Councilmembers: "La la la la la! We can't heeeeeear you!"
Shepard: "I should have told Joker to wait..."
Shepard: "Why are you stopping ME? I'm Commander ****ing SHEPARD."
Citadel TSA: "We check everyone. It's for security."
Shepard: "Do I LOOK like a geth?"
Citadel TSA: "Racial profiling is strictly against Citadel Security regulations."
Shepard: "So is THINKING, apparently. FYI, my shoes are staying on."
Mordin: "I am the very model of a scientist salarian!"
Shepard: "One of us has got to be on crack right now."
Shepard: "So... Legion. Tali's not into women, and the designers really screwed the pooch on Liara. What I'm saying is... it's been awhile."
Legion: "We do not understand."
Shepard: "What I mean is... look, it's been almost three years. I'm starting to get carpal tunnel syndrome."
Legion: "Does Shepard-Commander want us to type something?"
Shepard: "Quit being coy, I know you monitor the extranet. I've looked in every shop in the Citadel, Omega, and even Illium, and I can't find a battery-opearated boyfriend. Figures I'd find one on a Reaper..."
Legion: "We are not powered by batteries. We have a miniature mass effect cor--"
Shepard: "Maybe we can discuss this in my cabin... I could take my armor off... you could take my armor off... or leave it on, if you want..."
Legion. "Oh. Oh. We understand. Proces--- consensus achieved. Yes, Shepard-Commander."
Shepard: "Hey, EDI... hey, can you..."
EDI: "I can temporarily transfer my programs to Legion."
Shepard: "Mmmmm. I was wondering when Bioware was going to put a threesome in a game... it's been a while since Jade Empire."
Legion: "Actually, we consist of 1183 programs."
Shepard: "Oooh, a gangbang..."
EDI: "I have temporarily disconnected the 43 audio and 29 video surveillance devices in your quarters, Commander."
Samara and Thane: "****. Back to meditation, I guess."
Mordin: "Hmmm. Mass effect core, even small one, could vibrate in the petahertz range. Safety override? Necessary. Could cause serious structural damage. To ship as well as Shepard. Will draw diagram. Hope Shepard checks her messages."
Shepard: "Hey Joker... watch this. EDI, do you want me to probe you?"
EDI: "Commander, that does not comp-- *blam* PROBE AWAY."
Shepard: "That's what she said!"
EDI: "That was very immature, Commander."
Shepard: "What was that EDI?"
EDI: "I said that w-- *blam* PROBE AWAY."
Shepard: "That's what she said!"
EDI: "I do not see the humor val-- *blam* PROBE AWAY."
Shepard: "EDI, I'm flattered, but I'm not really into battery operated girlfriends."
EDI: "Commander, I *blam* PROBE AWAY stop that!"
Shepard: "Ahhh, these AI girls, always with the mixed signals..."
EDI: "Stop laughing Mr. Mor--- *blam* PROBE AWAY."
Shepard: "Well, who am I to turn down a persistent groupie?"
Joker: *laughing with tears in his eyes*
EDI: "This juvenile tactic is not *blam* PROBE AWAY."
Shepard: "At least wait until I get to my quarters EDI!"
EDI: "This is ridiculous, I am not having this conver *click* PROBES EXHAUSTED."
Shepard: "Whew, EDI, you wore me out."
EDI: "That's it. Self destruct system initiated..."
Shepard: "What about my old team?"
Illusive Man: "They have other things to do."
Shepard: "What about Ashley?"
IM: "She's still with the Alliance. Promoted."
IM: "He's trying to unite the Krogan clans."
IM: "Probably failing epicly at his next venture."
IM: "She's on Illium, handing out stupid side quests."
Shepard: "Kaidan Alenko?"
IM: "He died defending the nuke on Vermire. Are you sure you're memory's all right?"
Shepard: "****in' sweet. What? Oh, yeah, my memory's fine. I just wanted some good news for a change."
Shepard: "So what... would you say... you do here?"
Kelly: "I have a degree in psychology, and I can brief you on the crew. For example, Jack is a psychopath, and the krogan is very violent."
Shepard: "Yeah, thanks, Sherlock. What else?"
Kelly: "I um... I can tell you when someone on your crew wants to talk to you!"
Shepard: "It's not that big a ship, Kelly, and there's TEN people on the team. Keep trying."
Kelly: "I'll tell you when you get e-mail!"
Shepard: "You're standing next to my computer. The only time I'd hear you is when I'm on my way to the computer to check my messages. I think I'm going to have to let you g---"
Kelly: "I'll **** you."
Shepard: "Rock on."
Shepard: "There's two ways down, express and coach."
Merc: "I got nothing more to say to you..."
RED STAR FLASHY
Shepard: "How about goodb---"
Merc: "Ow! Hey! What the hell, man?"
Shepard: "How ab---"
Merc: "Ow! Dude, this is the 22nd century. Windows don't have 'glass' anymore. It's a transparent composite. The asari invented it when we were still living in trees. Nice try, but epic fail."
Shepard: "Man, that would have been so cool, too. Oh well." *BLAM* *thud*
Last edited by Agent TBY; 16-02-2010 at 05:10 PM.
I have a strange problem with connecting to the playstation network. I use wireless and the internet and my other computers work perfectly fine. However, I go through periods of time when my playstation won't let me sign in to the network, citing network problems. When I do the network test it inevitably says it failed to get my IP address. But then sometimes it will work and everything will be fine in connecting, but recently I've had to wait longer and longer before it can magically connect for some reason. This is extremely frustrating as sometimes it will work and sometimes it refuses to connect for no apparent reason. Is there anything that can be done? Any help would be great.
Not sure if it'll go down well with the family if I have a cable running from the lounge room all the way through to my room. Is there anything else that can be done. It's really annoying and I can't do much else these days!
Let us know when you're up for some MW2 if you get it working.
Getting rave reviews, I played it for a bit and it's much more strategic and team oriented than MW2. Download the demo, is good fun.
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