Cricket Betting Site Betway
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 26
Like Tree6Likes

Thread: The put-down thread

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Castle
    Posts
    66,642

    The put-down thread

    Following on from the BCCI's plan to seek a ban on sledging, this is a thread to post your favourite non-cricketing put-downs.

    Be they yours, a friend's or belong to a famous person from history, feel free to post your favourite (non-abusive) put-downs here.
    zorax likes this.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Castle
    Posts
    66,642
    To get things started, here are a few from one of the great parliamentary debators, and the king of the put down, former Australian PM Paul Keating:

    On John Howard (who succeeded him as PM):

    "The little desiccated coconut is under pressure and he is attacking anything he can get his hands on"

    "What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him."

    "He's wound up like a thousand day clock..."

    "...the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition..."

    "He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague."

    "But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It's like 'Spot the eyebrows'."

    "I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot..."

    "He has more hide than a team of elephants."

    "Come in sucker."

    During Great Debate '96: "You're so rude!"

    On Peter Costello (Liberal treasurer):

    "The thing about poor old Costello is he is all tip and no iceberg. He can throw a punch across the parliament but the bloke he should be throwing a punch to is Howard, but of course he doesn't have the ticker for it."

    On Former Leader of the Opposition, John Hewson:

    (His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce.

    I was implying that the Honorable Member for Wentworth was like a lizard on a rock - alive, but looking dead.

    I'd put him in the same class as the rest of them: mediocrity.

    This is the sort of little-boy, stamp your foot stuff which comes from a financial yuppie when you shoe him into parliament.

    On former Liberal Party Leader and Shadow Treasurer, Andrew Peacock:

    "...what we have here is an intellectual rust bucket."

    On Peacock's ascension to the liberal leadership the second time:
    "A souffle never rises twice".

    "...if this gutless spiv, and I refer to him as a gutless spiv..."

    "He could not rise above his own opportunism or his incapacity to lead."

    "I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman's hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness."

    "He represents nothing and nobody."

    "You've been in the dye pot again, Andrew."

    "The Leader of the Opposition is more to be pitied than despised, the poor old thing. The Liberal Party ought to put him down like a faithful dog because he is of no use to it and of no use to the nation."

    "We're not interested in the views of painted, perfumed gigolos."

    "It is the first time the Honourable Gentleman has got out from under the sunlamp."

    In conversation with former Labor PM Gough Whitlam:

    Whitlam: "That was a good speech. You should go back comrade, and get yourself an honours degree."

    Keating: "What for ? Then I'd be like you."

    On the press:

    "Anyone who is impressed with himself because he has made Page One is sort of a shingle short."

    "You (Richard Carleton, journalist) had an important place in Australian society on the ABC and you gave it up to be a pop star...with a big cheque...and now you're on to this sort of stuff. That shows what a 24 carat pissant you are, Richard, that's for sure"

    Reporter: You don't talk to ordinary people!
    Keating: "Who says I don't ? Who says I don't ? I mean I see as many people as perhaps anyone in public life could..."
    Reporter: How long is it since you've been to Fyshwick Markets ?
    Keating: "Not long, not long. In fact if you get down to woollies at Manuka on Saturday I'd probably run over you with a trolley as I did a journo recently."

    On Former Labour politician, Jim McClelland (over the phone):
    "That you Jim? Paul Keating here. Just because you swallowed a f***ing dictionary when you were about 15 doesn't give you the right to pour a bucket of **** over the rest of us."
    zorax likes this.

  3. #3
    Hall of Fame Member FaaipDeOiad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    19,957
    Haha. Keating was so awesome.

    "...if this gutless spiv, and I refer to him as a gutless spiv..." can't be beaten.
    It's cold on the outside they say
    But the cold leaves you clear while the heat leaves a haze

  4. #4
    International Captain nibbs's Avatar
    Chopper Challenge Champion! Roulette Champion!
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Posts
    6,877
    "hey kids. lets rip on the egg with two daddies"

    "TWO DADDIES, TWO DADDIES"
    "Matt Damon"


  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Castle
    Posts
    66,642
    Churchill on Atlee: "A modest little man, with much to be modest about".
    Daemon likes this.

  6. #6
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Perm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Clutha Valley, New Zealand
    Posts
    21,816
    Muldoon and Churchill both had a fair few good'uns.
    The Future of International Cricket - Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina, Ravi Bopara, Tim Southee, Ross Taylor, Shahriar Nafees, Raqibul Hasan, Salman Butt, JP Duminy
    Proud Supporter of the Bangladeshi Tigers
    Ryan ten Doeschate - A Legend in the Making
    MSN: zacattack90@hotmail.com

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard View Post
    Romance can be dealt with elsewhere - I just don't enjoy it in cricket.

  7. #7
    123/5 Flem274*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    lockie ferguson should get a side gig with brazzers
    Posts
    40,219
    Muldoon, for all his incompetence as a PM, had some bloody great put downs in his amoury. One of the more famous ones is when a large number of kiwis were migrating to Australia and he said "Let them go, they're raising the IQ of both countries"

    Can't argue really
    Proudly supporting Central Districts
    RIP Craig Walsh

  8. #8
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Gone too soon
    Posts
    46,921
    Churchill was always good value. One of my favourites of his was, upon meeting the somewhat plain wife of the notoriously gay Labour MP Tom Driberg,

    "Oh, well. Buggers can't be choosers I suppose"
    Cricket Web's current Premier League Tipping Champion

    - As featured in The Independent.

    "Ben Stokes, that most unlikely saint, worked the second of the two miracles he needs for his canonisation." - The Guardian's Andy Bell on the England all-rounder's Headingley ton

  9. #9
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
    Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion!
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    23,883
    Looking firmly at GIMH's sig, tbh
    Quote Originally Posted by flibbertyjibber View Post
    Only a bunch of convicts having been beaten 3-0 and gone 9 tests without a win and won just 1 in 11 against England could go into the home series saying they will win. England will win in Australia again this winter as they are a better side which they have shown this summer. 3-0 doesn't lie girls.

  10. #10
    International Regular 1-9-7-7's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Ireland bois
    Posts
    3,501
    Quote Originally Posted by nibbs View Post
    "hey kids. lets rip on the egg with two daddies"

    "TWO DADDIES, TWO DADDIES"
    hahahahahaha so gun.
    A Free Lesson On Growing Up
    Make The Best Of Their Worst
    And Never Compromise On Anything That You Think Is Right

  11. #11
    State Captain Shaggy Alfresco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    location, location
    Posts
    1,762
    Mrs. Braddock: Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk
    Churchill: Yes, and you are ugly. But I shall be sober tomorrow.

  12. #12
    International Coach PhoenixFire's Avatar
    Curveball Champion!
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Bitch please, I'm from West Yorkshire
    Posts
    14,989
    Some bint: Mr Churchill, if I was your wife then I would poison you.

    Churchill: Madam, if I was your husband, I would drink it!
    Quote Originally Posted by Top_Cat View Post
    1) Had double pneumonia as a kid, as did my twin sis. Doctors told my parents to pray that we lived through the night. Dad said **** off, I'm an atheist, you ****s better save my kids, etc. Then prayed anyway.

  13. #13
    The Wheel is Forever silentstriker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    39,951
    Churchill was awesome tbh.
    Quote Originally Posted by KungFu_Kallis View Post
    Peter Siddle top scores in both innings....... Matthew Wade gets out twice in one ball
    "The future light cone of the next Indian fast bowler is exactly the same as the past light cone of the previous one"
    -My beliefs summarized in words much more eloquent than I could come up with

    How the Universe came from nothing

  14. #14
    International Coach
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,718
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaggy Alfresco View Post
    Mrs. Braddock: Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk
    Churchill: Yes, and you are ugly. But I shall be sober tomorrow.
    Haha yes, this is one of my favourites.
    Manchester United FC: 20 Times

    R.I.P. Sledger's Signature, 2004-2008

  15. #15
    cpr
    cpr is offline
    International Coach cpr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    The Beautiful North
    Posts
    13,238
    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixFire View Post
    Some bint: Mr Churchill, if I was your wife then I would poison you.

    Churchill: Madam, if I was your husband, I would drink it!

    Haha, the best one, IIRC it was one of the first prominant female MP's, however i cant remember her name. Her and Churchill used to be right at each others throats in this fashion, old Winny winning hands down each time.
    "All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
    Langeveldt: I of course blame their parents.. and unchecked immigration!
    GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individual
    Burgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.
    Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 19-05-2007, 05:03 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •