26-06-2007, 09:27 PM
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#1 (permalink) | |
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International Coach
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rummaging through Iain O'Brien's dustbins.
Posts: 12,898
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The Cult of Heath's Personality
Aka Heath Davis Appreciation Society.
HeathDavisSpeed is the Fascist Dictator of the HDAS. In the absense of Heath, due to being detained on Foreign Policy visits, control of the HDAS passes over to NZTailender, who is the 'Hess' of the HDAS. The manifesto of the HDAS is as follows: (i) To promote and enhance the knowledge of our Leader (Heath) to the wider world through development of the Cult of Heath's Personality (ii) To increase the average speed of bowlers worldwide. Not restricted to, but perhaps as a consequence, increasing the amount of Extras or Sundries. (iii) Increase the 'Fear Factor' for both batsmen and slip fielders. (iv) To maintain the Union of Fast Bowlers. (Heath doesn't want to be injured by another quicky) There are always positions available in the Cult of Heath's Personality. Once you join, you cannot leave. You are expected to have a picture of Heath in dramatic pose adorning your living room wall and uphold the Manifesto. Otherwise, life goes on as normal. See also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVdQlCReF1Q The HDAS Motto: To truly be a legend, you have to fully appreciate yourself first. Greatness is in being able to actively massage your own ego - HDS - 2007
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>>>>>>WHHOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH>>>>>> Fascist Dictator of the Heath Davis Appreciation Society Supporting Petone's Finest since the very start - Iain O'Brien Adam Wheater - Another batsman off the Essex production line Also Supporting the All Time #1 Batsman of All Time Ever - Jacques Kallis and the much maligned Peter Siddle. Vimes tells it how it is: Quote:
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26-06-2007, 09:36 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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BARNES OUT
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: WILDCARD, BITCHES
Posts: 27,714
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Best thread.
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The one, the only CW Black Code:
47.3 W Coppinger to Heads
Smacked the ball straight into the groin of Iwuajoku who has fallen over,
miraculously with the ball still caught in his scrotal area! Out!
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26-06-2007, 09:51 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Hall of Fame Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Dunedin, Otago, New Zealand
Posts: 19,043
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 Deputy Dictator.
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President of SKAS - Kat is King | Proud member of CVAAS - One of the best | LRPLTAS - Rosco rocks! The NZTailender Supporting XI: L Vincent, H Rutherford, N Broom, Craig Cachopa, D Brownlie, BJ Watling, D de Boorder+, I Sodhi, B Wheeler, H Bennett, A Milne Go Tigers! R.I.P. Fardin & Craig |
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26-06-2007, 10:29 PM
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#5 (permalink) | |
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International Coach
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rummaging through Iain O'Brien's dustbins.
Posts: 12,898
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Quote:
I'll let you off. Dictators have much more important work to do than worry about the petty concerns of the People. I have a masseuse coming in soon to give me my daily Ego Massage. Toodle-pip. |
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26-06-2007, 10:31 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Cricket Web Staff Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Castle
Posts: 35,138
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 Who's your Goebbels?
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WWCC - Loyaulte Mi Lie "People make me happy.. not places.. people" "When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life." - Samuel Johnson "Oh my God, there's a castle! A castle!" |
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26-06-2007, 10:32 PM
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#7 (permalink) | |
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International Vice-Captain
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,899
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Quote:
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26-06-2007, 10:33 PM
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#8 (permalink) | |
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International Coach
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rummaging through Iain O'Brien's dustbins.
Posts: 12,898
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Quote:
Fascist Dictator: HDS Deputy Dictator: NZTailender All other positions are up for grabs. EDIT: I shudder to think who would apply to be the 'Goering'.... |
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26-06-2007, 10:41 PM
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#10 (permalink) |
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International Coach
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rummaging through Iain O'Brien's dustbins.
Posts: 12,898
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In HDAS territory, you do not need to apply to make a petition. You just need a list of signatories who agree with your stance. This then forms a petition which can be handed into the nearest embassy, where it will be filed in the Men's Toilets, possibly in the cistern, where it will gather dust and water damage. Any requests to follow up your petition will be met with officials sticking their fingers in their ears and going "Nyagghh... I can't hear you"
That's how Official Government Business works. If you hadn't guessed, this is supposed to be slightly satirical by the way. |
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26-06-2007, 10:51 PM
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#12 (permalink) |
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International Coach
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rummaging through Iain O'Brien's dustbins.
Posts: 12,898
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If you prefer, we could file the petition with Cuthbert instead.
Cuthbert is the name of my waste paper bin. He likes eating paper. Cuthbert is Hungry... Feed him. |
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26-06-2007, 11:22 PM
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#13 (permalink) | |
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International Vice-Captain
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,899
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Quote:
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27-06-2007, 12:31 AM
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#14 (permalink) | ||
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Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Jeets' sheets
Posts: 23,371
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I love this, I bags head of secret police!
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Direbirds FTL! Quote:
Quote:
President of T.I.T.S Tamim Isn't Talented Society Proudly supporting Central Districts RIP Craig Walsh |
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